Sugar, Spell It Out
by PauPauJ
Summary: Ashley's PoV. I think there's a thin line between life and death, a line that's easily shattered. But it's important to remember that in the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - Hi guys! I'm back, at least for awhile ;)  
**

**This is a repost of SSIO since I've looked through the gramma and such.**

**Please read and feel free to review! :)**

Sugar, spell it out

Chapter one

I had the worst morning ever. I am not joking, this seriously fits in the autobiography of Ashley Davies and there is a lot of stories from my past. I mean a LOT! Everything in between funerals and weddings, not mine of course. Okay, one sort of was but that's another story that involves me running away at the wedding day. Yeah, yeah, I'm an asshole. Nothing new. In my defence though, I was young and not anywhere near in my right mind to be married to someone. I really did them a favour. Anyways, back to the present.

Maybe I should go back to what actually happen this morning.

_Flashback_

_It's a simple fact  
That you can't seem to handle me  
No matter how you act with them  
You can't handle me  
You gotta make me feel you got my back  
But you're a selfish  
Narcissistic psycho-freaking  
Boot-licking Nazi creep and  
You can't handle me_

_What the fuck is that sound? I thought to myself as I slowly sat up in the bed. Shit, it's my phone, I realize and throw myself out of bed as the search began. The room is pitch dark and I can't see shit. Where the fuck is it? I say out loud to myself and jump five feet as I don't expect an answer._

_"It's in the bathroom" A voice grumps from the bed._

_And where the fuck did she come from? This time I keep my thoughts to myself as I make my way to the bathroom. I find it in the sink. Kind of happy that it still works, I check who's been calling me in the middle of the fucking night. _

_6 missing calls from my sister Kyla. Go figure._

_As I call here up my head is pounding and it doesn't help when she's answering._

_"Where the FUCK are you?" _

_"Eh...I actually don't know" I say rubbing my temple trying to ease the headache. I really have no clue where I am or how I got here. _

_"Are you really that irresponsible that you don't even know where you are? I thought you were past the stupid, childish days of your life?" She screams in my ear._

_"Kyla, calm the fuck down! I can't hear myself think. Why are you even calling me in the middle of the night?" I ask as I make my way out of the bathroom._

_"What do you mean middle of the night? It's almost noon."_

_"What? Are you freaking kidding me?" I hiss as I go to the window and pull the curtains apart and see that she is in fact right. The bright sun makes its way into what I think is a hotel room. I turn around to watch for any signs of how I got here. Finding non._

_"No, I'm not kidding you. Why do you think I've been calling you so many times? Please tell me that you are on your way to the movie set?" She pleads with a worried voice._

_I don't answer her right away as I see a tray on the table beside the couch. Please tell me that isn't what I think it is, I think to myself as I bend down beside it. There's a 100$ bill and a razorblade on the tray together with some traces of white powder._

_"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." _

_"What?" _

_"I think I screwed up big time" I mumble._

_"What are you saying?" Kyla asks and by the sound of her voice she already knows._

_"I'm saying..." I trail of because I don't know what to say. If I say the truth I'm going to disappoint her so much and I don't wanna do that 'cause she's the only reason I'm still alive._

_But I can't lie to her either, she sees right through my bullshit._

_"Ashley?"_

_"Wait a sec, Ky."_

_I walk over to the girl in the bed whose name I don't remember. And considering I don't remember a thing from yesterday that really isn't so strange._

_"Hey!" I yell and shake her shoulders._

_"Mmm?" She mumbles._

_"Where the fuck are we?" _

_"Four Seasons" She answers without lifting her head._

_I put my phone back to my ear._

_"Kyla? Will you do me a huge favour and pick me up at the Four Seasons and drop me of at home?"_

_"Shit, Ashley! What the fuck are you doing there?"_

_"Kyla, please?" I plead with her. _

_"Fine, I'll be there in 20."_

_"Thank you" I say sincerely and hang up the phone._

_I start to search the room for my clothes and when I gathered all my things I head to the door._

_"Hey, where are you going?" The girl from the bed asks, finally lifting her head._

_"Home." I answer simply._

_"Why? Come back to bed Ash!"_

_"Ash? I'm not Ash to you. Only my friends call me that and since I don't even remember your name, I highly doubt you are my friend." I say leaving the room and closing the door behind me with a bang. _

_Maybe that was a bit harsh, but what the fuck ever. Hope I didn't give her my number... I push the down button on the elevator, waiting impatiently for it to arrive. _

_Man, I'm so stupid. Why couldn't I just kept to the alcohol? Why did I have to go back to that shit? Why didn't I stay home like Kyla told me to? Every year we've been together at the anniversary of our fathers dead. Why? Why now? I haven't touched that shit for three years. God, I'm so fucking stupid._

_I take a seat on a bench outside the hotel and roam through my pockets and my purse for any kind of clues of what I've been up to the night before. The only thing I found is a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I put it back in purse at the same time as Kyla arrives in her SUV._

_"Hey", I say with a sigh as I sink low in the passenger seat._

_"Do you have any idea how worried I have been?" She asks calmly._

_"No, but I am really sorry. Can we please talk about this tonight at dinner?" I ask with a sigh._

_She's quiet for a second or two, probably thinking of her answer._

_"Yeah, we can. But don't think for a second that you're going to get away with this. I'm getting married in a couple of weeks and I actually need my big sister there for me. I can't go through this with you again. I really can't. I need you now. Need you to be the sane one for a change. I can't help you pick up the pieces one more time, I don't think I have strength. Do you understand what I'm saying?" She says in a low voice and throws a glance at me._

_I nod my head as a answer and I tear rolls down my cheek. I don't have anything to say to her because everything she just said is so true. I can't put her in that position again. She has done so much for me already. I need to pull my shit together, not just for me._

_As Kyla stops in front of my house she turns to me._

_"You are going to be there tonight, right?"_

_"Yes, of course. And I promise we'll talk then. But right now I got to get ready and get to my meeting with Jamie."_

_"Okay, good. When are you suppose to be there?"_

_"At 1.30. So I'll make it."_

_"Good" She starts with a sigh before continuing "I love you sis, please don't ever scare me like this again. For the second time in my life a thought I'd lost you."_

_"I would never do that to you again. I'm so sorry that I scared you." I say and put my arms around her in a tight hug._

_We sit there in silence for awhile before I release her and says that I really gotta go and that I'll call here after my meeting._

_I hurry inside and in the shower. Put on fresh makeup and clothes and head out to the garage and decide that it's a perfect day to ride my black Porsche convertible. It always makes me feel better. _

_As I realise I have the time and that I really need my caffeine, I make a quick stop at a Starbucks on the way._

_End Flashback_

So here I am now, sitting in a trailer with my coffee and waiting for Jamie. It's been one hell of a day and I rather just go home and try to figure out how to make this right with Kyla.

I can't let her down again. And I don't wanna let Jamie down either, she's a too good of a friend to me and I don't exactly have that many friends that I can afford to lose them.

On top of this shit I feel like crap. Like I just got run over by an 18-wheeler and just when I was about to get up a nuclear bomb with the size of small mansion blows up inside my head.

I take a big swig of the coffee and feel the warm fluid making its way to my stomach.

This job means a lot to me so I'm not going to screw it up. This is the first job I've chosen for my own sake and not because of the contacts that I can earn from it, or for the sake of increasing my reputation to get myself a name. No, that I have already managed to do in the past.

You see, I kind of had it all served on a silver spoon when I started out...

To make a long story short; my dad died when I was 17 of an overdose so I dropped out of High School, got my GED, wanted to go in my fathers footsteps, got sign to Sony Music, made my first record, sold platinum, toured for a year and I drank a lot, started doing drugs, slept with practically every girl that crossed my path, was a royal bitch to everyone, made my second record which also sold platinum, toured for another year which included more alcohol, more and heavier drugs such as heroin which was what killed my father. Then I became somewhat uncontrollable so Sony dropped me and I was stuck with my demons, the drugs.

The only one who were left to look out for me was Kyla, even though I pushed her away and were the biggest asshole in the universe, she stood by me. On the three year anniversary of our fathers death we were watching a movie at our house when I was starting to feel the withdrawals from the heroin. Kyla knew somehow she couldn't help me unless I wanted the help and I didn't. Anyways, so I wanted heroin and in order to get it I had to go up to my room where my stash was hidden. I told Kyla I needed to go to the bathroom and left.

As I got to my room I locked the door and went to my bathroom and made the drugs ready to inject. After the injection I don't remember I thing until next morning. I wake up in my bed feeling like shit and I realize Kyla is banging on the door screaming and crying. She thought I was dead and for a moment so did I. I feel a pain in my left arm and sees that the drain is still in my skin and there's dried blood on my arm, in my bed and in my right palm. This is the moment I realize that I am sick and I need help. I don't want to die and I certainly don't want to die the same way my father did. I need help and I need it fast.

My head is everywhere and it takes me some time until it hits me that Kyla is still at my door screaming.

I snatch the needle from my arm and open the door for her. I remember the look on her face like it was yesterday and I will never forget it. The combination of fear, concern, anger, relief and her eyes were so lost, like she didn't know where to go from here. I will never forget the look on her face and in that moment I promised myself that I'd never make her feel that way again. But I know I was very close to break my own promise last night.

Anyways, when I open the door for her I fall in to a heap on the floor and she holds me. She holds me while I break down into a complete mess. I don't know for how long I lay there in her arms and cry and it doesn't matter, because I knew from that moment that things could only get better.

The next day I put myself in rehab where I stayed for three months, Kyla visited me twice a week and she never faltered. She always believed in me, even when I was a bitch to her and that was pretty often.

When I got out from rehab I had a plan. I was starting my own record label and money wasn't a problem so that I did. I was 20 then and I have since worked with a lot of famous artists and produced their music. It wasn't easy in the begining. I didn't really have great reputation in the business due to my drug problems. But I made it and I am now very respected as a producer. It took me some hard work and many hours to get where I am today, but here I am three years later and have the possibilities to do almost whatever I want. Such as this project I am doing now. Working with Jamie is something I've wanted to do since I met her at the rehab centre, she was in there for the same reasons as me but she was an addict much longer than me. She's 27 and a film director and is currently working on a movie about troubled kids in LA:s underworld. My role in this, making the music. It's a pretty low-budget film so she can't exactly use already existing music so I'm going to make it and I'm really excited.

I'm also pitching in some of my own money to the film so she can make it happen.

"Hey." Jamie says with a small smile as she opens the door.

"Hey you" I say as I stand up.

"Take a walk with me?" Jamie ask calmly and looks into my eyes.

I look back in her eyes for a second and realize that Kyla has called her.

"Kyla called you?" I ask as I stare down at my hands that are fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

"Yeah, she did. She said something happened last night. She said you didn't tell her what it was, but that you guys are going to talk about it tonight."

"Yeah..."

"Come on, lets walk." She says and exits the trailer.

I make my way outside and come to the conclusion that if it someone I can talk about this it is with her. We start to walk in silence and I really don't know where to start.

"I screwed up yesterday" I say quietly after awhile.

"Yeah?" She asks as she sits down at a bench and motion for me to do the same.

"Yeah, I don't remember much."

"Okay, why don't you tell me the things you do remember?"

I gather my thoughts for a moment.

"Yesterday was six years since dad died" I trail of because it's the only thing I can say before I feel the tears starting to make their way down my cheeks.

Jamie puts an arm around me and I snuggle up close to her and put my head on her shoulder.

She doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to. She already know what yesterday was.

"I was at home, alone, waiting for Kyla to finish work. We were suppose to watch a movie as we always do. Then she calls and says that she have to work late. I don't blame her, I know how important this job is to her but I couldn't get by the fact that I was alone at the only day of the year that I really can't be alone. So I began to watch the movie but got bored fast. And I don't know how or why but I poured me a drink and downed it fast, which led to more drinks. The next thing I remember is that I'm at Ego and the bartender denies me anymore drinks. I got pissed and yelled at him. He was about to throw me out when a girl comes up and tells him she's going to take me home. We leave the club and end up at Four Seasons and drink some more. Then she pulls out a bag of coke from her purse and starts to line it up at a tray.

She snorts a couple of them and asks if I want. Which I do but I don't remember if I did it or not and the next thing I know is that I wake up to my phone ringing. And by the way I felt when I woke up I know I did it." I finish telling Jamie what happen and my tears are running freely now.

I abruptly stand up.

"I can't believe how stupid I am. I can't fucking understand it. Why couldn't I just listen to her? She knows me too fucking well, she knew I would do something like this. I fucking hate myself for doing this to her. She deserve so much better!"

"Ashley! Calm down" Jamie says as she grabs a hold of me and put me down at the bench again.

I stare down at my lap as she still holds her hands on my shoulders and rubbing her thumbs against my collarbones in a calming way.

"Ashley, look at me." She whispers.

Slowly I raze my gaze and meet her eyes.

"It's okay, everybody relapse. It's a part of the healing process. You already know this. You're going to be alright, you hear me?"

I slowly nod my head and stare at my fidgeting fingers again.

"What am I going to do now?" I whisper.

"You're going to come with me and meet some of my actors, to take your mind of this for a moment. Then you're going to the clinic to take a urine test to see if you took any of that cocaine. If you did in fact take any, you're going to go to the first NA meeting possible. Okay?"

I nod my head in answer.

"Can you come with?" I ask shyly.

"Of course, Ash. If that's what you want I will come with you."

I raise myself from the bench and pull her in for a tight hug.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Ash. Anytime."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Next chapter! ;) Please read and review :)  
**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter two

After I dried my tears we slowly make our way through the movie set, so I could meet the people who's going to make this movie happen. I must say I feel a lot better after talking to Jamie.

She knows where I'm coming from with all the shit she's been through too.

"So, what's with the big dinner you're going to tonight?" Jamie asks me after a moment of silence.

"Oh, yeah. Kyla's mom is coming in from Baltimore along with her grandparents and some other relatives. They're all gonna live in dads mansion until the wedding in two weeks. So we're having a barbeque there tonight." I say with a smile.

"Oh, sweet!"

"Yeah, you're welcome to come if you want. The more the merrier."

"No, it's okay. Don't wanna intrude."

"You won't be intruding." I say with a chuckle before continuing "You're family and besides it would be nice to know that there actually is someone there I know."

"Isn't that kind of the point, so you'll get to know some new people?"

"No, the point is to have fun and I can't have that without you" I say at the same time as I look up and see three people sitting on the ground talking. But one girl especially caught my eye.

"Unless..." I continue with a sly grin as I watch the blond beauty laughing at something one of the others said.

Man, she is fine. Wouldn't complain to wake up next to that after a long night of heavy...

"Unless what?" Jamie asks and interrupts my train of thought.

I turn my head Jamie's direction and see that she's watching me with an amused smile.

"Unless she's coming with me, 'cause I wouldn't mind getting to know her and I don't mean that as in I want to know her life story and share mine with her, if you catch my drift?" I point to the girl discretely and laugh at my own inability to form sentences that sound at least somewhat normal.

Jamie follows my finger and her face falls when she sees who I'm talking about.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not gonna happen, not in this world!" She says as she grabs my shoulders and forces me to stop staring at the girl.

"What? Why?" I whine.

"Because that is one of the leading actresses in the movie and one of the best. I kind of want to keep her since she's awesome and I don't have time to find someone who's equally good. That's why you can't do your usual fuck'em and leave'em game and by the way isn't it time to give up that shit? You're not a kid anymore and I won't let you roam around my set and fuck every girl possible and destroy my movie. And for your information I will pick the movie before you at any cost, so if that means I have to fire you I will, do you understand me?" Jamie desperately says.

"Wow, are you done with your little rant?" I say trying to contain a smile.

She nods in answer.

"First of, that really hurt. I don't fuck'em and leave'em, at least not anymore. Even if I were to do that, it would be mutual. And second, I'm not talking about roaming your set and fuck every girl possible as you kindly put it. I was talking about one girl, one girl who happen to be miss lead actress. And for your information, I wasn't even serious. do you understand me?" I say mocking her own tone and start to laugh.

"I really hope you weren't serious, you scare me to death girl. Because even though I know she's straight as an arrow and recently divorced, I kind of don't doubt for a second that you could get her if you wanted."

"Serious?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yeah, I've seen it happen before." She says with a laugh.

"In that case, I am serious." I say as I start walking in the direction of the girls.

"What?" Jamie shrieks and runs up to me with a worried face.

"Chill, Jamie. Still joking. It's just too good to let go, especially with that face you were pulling two seconds ago. I need the fun today, after the morning I had."

"Just behave yourself." She whispers as we reach the girls.

"Hey ladies!" Jamie says to them and they all stand up.

"I'd like you to meet Ashley Davies, the girl who's gonna make the movie complete with the mastermind of hers when it comes to music. Ashley, meet Chelsea Lewis, my partner in crime otherwise known as the co-writer." Jamie says with a laugh as I shake Chelsea's hand.

"And this is Madison Duarte, my costume designer and right hand, sometimes even left."

I shake her hand and give her a small smile as my eyes travels over to the beautiful girl next to her and she meets my gaze. Her eyes are so blue and I don't even know what to compare them to. Blue in the dictionary would be described with a picture of her.

"And this, Ashley, is my favourite actress and a real pleasure to work with, Spencer Carlin." Jamie says this emphasizing the words Ashley, favourite and real.

As soon as I touch her hand I'm lost in the feeling of electricity shooting through my body and the depths of her eyes. I don't know how many seconds pass before reluctantly let go of her hand, immediately missing the warmth.

It hits me that they all kind of expect me to say something and I clear my throat to give me time to come up with anything really.

"Yeah, nice to meet you all. It's going to be a pleasure working on this movie. Jamie is a real genius when it comes to the art of filmmaking."

"Ah, thank you Ashley. I actually think that's the nicest thing you ever said to me." She says with a bright smile, which falters as soon as I hit her on her shoulder.

"It is not! I compliment you all the time." I say trying to defend myself.

"Oh, really? When was the last time you actually complimented one of my many qualities?" She asks with a challenging face.

I stay quiet, stroking my chin and pretending to think.

"I guess you're right, I can't come up with a thing."

"Yeah, I'm always right and you know it!"

"Yeah, it may be so. Or it may be because of the fact that you don't have any other qualities or it could be because you're so full of yourself that you don't need anyone to compliment you. I mean, you wouldn't threw gasoline on a fire, right?" I say with a sly smile as I dodge her trying to hit me.

"Hey! Hit on someone your own size" I say as I back away from her.

"What's that suppose to mean? I'm not much bigger than you are."

"Oh, sorry! Didn't mean size. Meant age, old woman!" I say and hide behind Madison and Spencer, who are now laughing along with me.

"Man, that was bellow the belt. Really low, Ash. You know I can fire you on the spot." Jamie jokes.

"I know, but who's gonna work the musicmagic then?" I say still behind the girls 'cause I know if Jamie gets me I'm going down.

"I'll find someone, don't you worry."

"I'm not, please fire me so I can start acting on, you know who, that we talked about before." I say with a smirk.

Jamie's face falls and the other girls look quite confused.

"You are so smug. I'm not gonna fire you so don't you even think about it. Remember what I said." She says with a smile.

"Oh, I remember. But can't say I'm not thinking about it though." I say this at the same time as I move behind Spencer and innocently places my hands on her shoulders.

"Funny Ash. Such a comedian. You know I'm gonna kill you when I get my hands on you, right?"

"Yes, noted and ignored." I say with my hands still on Spencer.

"But, right now I gotta go to a meeting, so I guess I'll have killing you to look forward to."

"Can't wait." I say with faked enthusiasm.

"Right... On a more serious note, can we talk alone for a sec before I have to go Ash?" Jamie says and throws a look at Chelsea, Madison and Spencer.

"I got to run anyway. It was certainly fun meeting you Ashley. I haven't seen Jamie this relaxed in a couple of week. To say at least, it's been stressful." Chelsea says and I answer with a big smile still hiding half hiding behind Spencer.

"Yeah, I second that." Madison says and then the two girls turn to leave.

"Yeah, I gotta..." Spencer starts.

"No, you're not going anywhere" I interrupt her and pull her back in front of me by her shoulders. I really don't want her to leave.

"Okay?" Spencer hesitantly says.

"Yeah, you're my safety net right now and if she somehow manage to kill me at least there's a witness." I say with a serious face.

She laughs at this and her laugh is like music to my ears. I'm gonna make it my mission to make her laugh as often as I can.

"So, what is it Jamie darling?"

She looks hesitantly at Spencer, like she have something to say that she isn't sure should be said in front of the other girl. And it hits me that she probably want to make sure I'm okay about what happen last night and that I'm going to stick to the plan on going to the clinic.

I step out from the safety behind Spencer and walks the two steps to Jamie and when I'm there she meets my eyes. I really don't care that Spencer is there to hear what I'm going to say even though I don't know her. I take Jamie's hands in mine.

"Don't worry, Jamie. I heard you before and I'm going to do what you told me. I'm going straight to the clinic when I leave here and I'm going to a meeting today. I promise" I squeeze her hands a little to reassure her. I know she's worried about me.

"Do you still want me come with you? Because I can probably get out of that meeting."

"No, you don't have to. I think I need to do this myself. Please, don't worry. I'm not feeling any withdrawals or cravings or anything like that. I'll be fine, I promise."

After I finish I pull her into a hug and as we let go she kisses me on the forehead.

"Okay, be safe and call the second you get out from the clinic." She orders me with a sad smile.

"Of course, mum." I say jokingly because I can only take a certain amount of seriousness at once.

"Good girl." She says with a laugh and pinches my cheek gently before placing another kiss on my forehead and leaving.

I sigh as I watch her leave, she really is like my mother, sister and best friend in one package and I wouldn't dream of having it another way.

For a second there I forget that Spencer is still here and that she probably heard our whole conversation.

I turn around and face her. The look she's giving me, I can't really place it. Her eyes shows a mix of emotions. Everything from curiosity, to fear and pity. It's like she can't decide what she's feeling. Maybe that isn't so strange.

"Sorry." Is the only thing I say as I take a seat on the curb.

"Don't be" She answers as she sit down beside me.

I roam through my bag for the cigarettes and the lighter and when I find it I lit one of them up, taking a deep drag from it and exhales slowly.

We sit there in comfortable silence for a while as I smoke.

"You know, you shouldn't smoke. It's bad for your health and it destroys that beautiful voice of yours." She says with a chuckle and snatches the cigarette from me.

I let out a laugh and turn to her.

"How do you know I have a beautiful voice?" I ask with a smile.

"Oh, I know who you are Ashley Davies." She says as she takes a drag from the cigarette she just stole from me and then hands it back to me. My eyebrows frown at the action. Wasn't she just preaching about how bad smoking was?

"Hard not to with my past hunting me." I quietly say as I take another drag and stare straight forward at nothing.

"She speaks very highly of you." Spencer says after some time.

I turn to her, not really following. She meets my gaze and sees my confusion.

"Jamie." She continues.

"Aha, yeah..." I trail of as I hand her the cigarette.

"Don't know why though. She and my sister has been my lifeline, without them I probably wouldn't be sitting here right know. She shouldn't speak highly of me, I should speak highly of her." I reason and take the last drag of the cigarette before flicking it away.

"You just did." Spencer says.

"Did what?"

"Spoke highly of her. You called her your lifeline, that's pretty highly. Not many people can be called that." She reasons as she stands and reaches out her hand for me to take.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

I take her hand and she helps me up and we get caught in a hypnotizing game of staring deep in each others eyes. Such beautiful eyes.

She chuckles and smiles.

"Why, thank you!"

"Did I say that out loud?" I ask as I blush. What the fuck? I never blush.

"You did, but it was nice. No one ever complimented my eyes before."

"Hardly believe that." I say with a bright smile.

"It's true." She says as she starts to walk.

"Well, I guess I have to make up for that then and say it every time I see you." I say with a smirk as I caught up with her.

"I seriously doubt you're going to remember that." She laughs.

"Are you challenging me?" I ask as we reach the car park.

She thinks for a moment before answering.

"I guess I am, Miss Davies."

"Consider the challenge taken, Miss Carlin."

"Okay." She says as she stops "This is me." She continues and motions at her car.

I really don't want her to go, but the promise made to Jamie and the fact that I really need to get going myself gets the better of me.

"Okay, it was nice talking to you and I guess I'll be seeing you and your beautiful eyes pretty soon." I says as I start to back away.

"Yeah." She chuckles "Nice talking to you to." She continues with a smile.

I give her a nose, crinkling smile before turning around and walk to my car.

"Hey! By the way, what are the stakes challenge? I wanna know what I'm going to win." She calls after me.

I turn around and watch her she opens the door to her car.

"What about this? You think about what you want until the next time we meet and I'll let you know if it's achievable?"

"Sounds fair." She says as she climbs in her car.

I unlock my own car thinking that I might not be able to keep my promise to Jamie about staying away from this girl. She makes me feel something I've never felt before and I certainly not planning on losing this challenge even though it probably will be the death of me. What a sweet way to go though, I chuckle at my own thoughts as I leave the movie set.


	3. Chapter 3

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter three

I didn't take me that long to get to the clinic that used to be my other home. I know almost everyone that works in that building and love them to death too. I don't understand the fact that they put up with my ass for three months. I would have suffocated myself when I was sleeping. I laugh to myself as I leave my car. I was such an ass to the employees here, but I guess the main reasons they put up with me and the other patients are because they are used to be treated that way and most because of the pay checks they get for doing the dirty work.

As I open the door and walk up to the reception desk I see it's Denise who's working. She's been here since the place opened and she knows everyone of us who's been here. One of the kindest human beings alive.

"I don't like the fact that you're here when there shouldn't be a reason for you to be here today", Denise says as I cross my arms on the reception counter and lean my head against them. I can't help to think that she couldn't be more right. I really shouldn't be here, if I only wasn't so stupid last night. Tuesdays was the normal days for my group meetings and Denise knows this because she keeps an eye on everybody. So when a person, me in this case, comes in on a day that they aren't suppose to be here, a Friday in this case, something is bound to be wrong.

"I'm such a screw up", I mumble in my arms.

"Hey, don't talk stupid. I don't know what's wrong, but you are doing good kid. You only relapsed one time in three years."

"Two", I whisper but I know she heard me because she puts a hand on my arm and squeezes it a little. Yeah, two times. Two fucking times. The first was about a month after I was released from the clinic. And now this, almost three years later. They say it's a part of the healing process to relapse. But I want the healing to be over. I want to be whole. Wishful thinking. I'm always going to be an addicted, I can never get away from that.

"Is Dr. Porter here?" I ask as I raise my head to meet her gaze. She gently brushes away the tears from my face that I didn't even know was there.

"Yes, let me call him up and see if he's available."

I space out while she makes the call, telling myself that everything will be fine.

"You can go in and see him", she says as she hangs up the phone.

"Thank you Denise", I say and walk in the direction of his room.

"And Ashley?"

"Yeah?" I ask and face her.

"Even though you're one of my favourite patients that have walked through these halls, you're not going to end up in one of these rooms again. Do you hear me?" She orders with a smile.

"Yes, it's not my intention of doing so either." I say with a laugh.

"Good. Now, run along to Dr. Porter."

I smile to myself as I walk through the halls. No, I'm definitely not ending up living here again. I have too much good in my life for that.

The meeting with Dr. Porter went by fast. He examined me and I left a urine test to prove what I already knew. He said he was going to test it right away and that I could wait in the reception for the answers, it was going to take about an hour. So now I'm hanging on the reception counter again watching Denise work and making small talk with her.

"When is the next meeting, Denise?" I ask after a moment of silence.

"4:30, are you going?"

"Yeah, I think it's for the best. Go as fast as possible after screwing up, release some of the anxiousness I'm feeling right now. I don't want to wait until Tuesday and an extra meeting never hurt or so I've heard."

"Yeah, that's true."

"Beside, this place are sucking money out of me so why not take this as an opportunity to make some good out of that."

"You're a real comedian, you know that?"

"Well, I'm starting to believe it because you're the second person to say that to me today" I answer with a smirk.

"Yeah, who else?"

"Jamie."

"I see, who is she nowadays? Hardly see her anymore?"

"She's good, still clean. Goes to meetings once a month. She helped me a lot today."

"Yeah? That's good. You two have been good friends since you left this place."

"Yeah, She's the best." I say as I lays my head down on my arms again at the same time my phone goes off.

_It's a simple fact  
That you can't seem to handle me  
No matter how you act with them  
You can't handle me  
You gotta make me feel you got my back  
But you're a selfish  
Narcissistic psycho-freaking  
Boot-licking Nazi creep and  
You can't handle me_

"Hello?" I answer.

_"Hey Sis. It's Kyla."_

"Hey, what's up?

_"Just checking up on you"_

"Yeah, well everything is fine here. Thanks for calling Jamie"

_"You're welcome. I know that you guys have this special thingy."_

"Yeah, special thingy" I say as I laugh.

_"Yeah, yeah. Where are you anyway?"_

"At the clinic, been taking some tests and are now waiting for the results"

_"Okay, but you are alright?" _I can hear the worry in her voice.

"Yes, I'm alright. At least I'll be. When am I suppose to be at the mansion?"

_"Six o'clock"_

"Okay, I'll probably be a little early. I'm going to an NA meeting at 4:30 and I don't have the energy to go home after so I'll just drive straight to the house."

_"Okay, I'm already here making things presentable so I'll see you when you arrive and we'll talk, right?"_

"Of course, Kyla."

We say our goodbyes and hang up and I stare at the phone for awhile before Denise brakes the silence.

"Worried sister?"

"Yeah, I understand it though. She's getting married soon and kind of counting on me to help her out since I'm her only relative that knows my way around this city."

"Married? Same guy she was with when you where here?"

"Yep, same guy."

"Good for them", she says at the same time Dr. Porter walks in.

"Miss Davies, I have your results. Want to go back to my room and I'll tell you?"

"No, it's okay. You can tell me here", I say with a sigh.

"Okay, your suspicions were right and there were traces of cocaine in your urine."

"Fuck..." Even though I already knew it, it breaks me a little to hear him say it.

"But this doesn't mean the end of the world. You've already shown that you're taking responsibility for your actions by coming here right away."

"Responsibility, my ass." I whisper to myself. Wouldn't be here in the beginning if I had shown some sort of responsibility last night.

"I take it you're going to the meeting in an half an hour?"

"Yes."

"Good. You can't do much more at this point, just stay calm. You've got a great support system at home, I know that. Just be among friends and try not to think about this too much. This is just a minor setback, but you'll be as good as new in a couple of days."

"Yeah, hopefully."

"I want you to come in for another test at the end of next week. Just a precaution to see that the drugs left your system, okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Good. You and Denise can set up a time. I've got to run, so you take care of yourself now."

I nod in answer as he turns around and leave.

Me and Denise set up a new meeting with Dr. Porter next Friday and then it's time for the group meeting which was pretty harmless. I easy to talk there, no one judges you. You're all in the same boat.

As I walk out from the clinic I feel a lot better. I pick up my phone to call Jamie.

_"Jamie speaking."_

"Hey, it's me."

_"Hey, what's happening? Everything good?"_

"Yes, no. I don't know. I was right about the coke which isn't good but after the meeting I feel quite relived actually. I'll be fine."

_"Good, told you so."_

"Yeah. So are you coming to the mansion tonight?"

_"Yeah, think I might. I'll be late though. Can't be there before eight. Work, work, work you know?"_

"Yeah, okay. As long as you show up eventually I'm happy." I chuckle as I reach my car and unlock it.

_"So easy to please you."_ I can just se hear smug grin in front of me.

"You wouldn't know that though, since I never gave in to your lame and cheesy attempts of trying to get your way with me." I say as I start the car.

_"Ugh, I did not nor will ever try to get my way with you. Would be like sleeping with a sister. Disgusting Ashley, really. Would you sleep with Kyla?"_

"My God, Jamie. That's disgusting. How can you even say something like that? I'm ending this conversation now." I say and hang up the phone as I drive away from the clinic.

The rest of the evening went by fast. I told Kyla everything that happen and she told me she were proud of me for doing the right thing today.

The barbeque held no surprising events, everyone of Kyla's relatives were nice, just like I expected them to be. Jamie showed up pretty late and we talked about the movie. They are starting to shoot on Monday and I plan on being there to watch her work her magic.

Besides a certain blonde is going to be there, and that I don't wanna miss. Which I don't tell Jamie 'cause I don't want my ass kicked.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N - Two chapters today! Hope it is to your liking :)**

**Read and review if you feel like it ;)**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter four

Monday morning. I would lie if I said that I didn't feel good. The weekend went by fast, just in my liking. Wanted Monday so bad I even dreamt it was Monday, twice. But now it's here and I'm waiting in line for my coffee so I can get to the movie set and see the girl that hasn't left my mind since I met her.

I'm actually a bit nervous, which definitely isn't like me. I try to suppress the feeling but I can't seem to get rid of it. It's ridiculous, I know. Something is seriously wrong with me.

I sigh to myself as the teenager behind the counter hands me my coffee and I walk out in the bright sunlight. It's really warm today, maybe not the best day to sit around on a movie set or maybe it is. We'll have to wait and see.

As climb out the car I see Jamie talking to that Chelsea girl so I walk over to them.

"Hey, ladies!"

"Hey, Ashley." Chelsea say with a smile.

"Hey, stud." Jamie says with an even brighter smile.

"Stud? Really?" I laugh.

"Yeah, just trying it out. But it's not working. Need something with even less class."

"Oh, you're so nice to me."

"Yeah, well since you stood me up and left me all alone Saturday I don't have to be nice to you."

"Hey! You weren't alone. I was with you." Chelsea says with a sad expression.

"I know you were. I'm just trying to get Ash to feel bad and you're not helping."

"Yeah, well. You're mean and you shouldn't make her feel bad." Chelsea says hitting Jamie's arm playfully.

I watch them and can't help but wonder if there's something between more than friendship. I space out as their banter continues and see Spencer and Madison coming our way. God, she looks good today. As they approach us none of them acknowledge my presence and Madison starts to talk with Jamie.

"Rick says we're ready to shoot in 10."

"Awesome, can't wait to get started." Jamie says with a sheepish smile.

Madison's throws me a glare before walking away. What the fuck is that about? Did I do something to her? I haven't even met her more than twice if you count this interaction.

Confused, I look over at Spencer, who's avoiding my gaze. What's wrong I think to myself? Is there something I missed here? I still look at Spencer who finally look back for the briefest moment with a small smile before she and Chelsea walk away.

I haven't a clue of what the three talk about, I was to caught up in my own thoughts.

"Didn't I beg you to leave her alone?"

"What?" I ask totally confused now.

"Spencer?" She says frustrated.

"I...I didn't do anything wrong." I have no clue what's happening right now.

"Then why is both Madison and Spencer all weird around you?"

"I don't know."

"Yeah, right." Jamie says as she start to walk away.

"Hey, wait." I grab her arm and turn her around.

"I'm serious. I really don't now why they are acting this way. I mean, I don't even now Madison. Met her the first and only time when you introduced us. Spencer too, except for the fact that she overheard our conversation last Friday and then a little and totally innocent talk we had afterwards when you left."

"Okay, I trust you."

"Yeah, you should." I say a little disappointed that she doesn't have more faith in me.

"Sorry that I jumped to the wrong conclusion."

"It's alright, but don't do it again." I say with a smile.

"I won't. Now I gotta go direct a movie. Come with?"

"You go. I'll be right behind."

She nods and walks away.

I walk over to a bench, take a seat and light up a cigarette. I actually quit smoking but sometimes I need one to calm my nerves. Don't know what it is, but there's a calming effect to take a deep drag and exhale the smoke slowly.

"Didn't I tell you that was bad for you?" Ah, that voice. Got to love it. Like. Got to like it.

I turn my head to the left and see Spencer leaning on her hands against the back of the bench.

"Shouldn't you be on set?" I ask and turn away from her gaze. Don't really understand this girl right now. First the silent treatment and now this? What's next? A heavy make-out session? Yeah, I wish. That would be awesome.

"No, free until after lunch. So, why are you here today?" She asks with a smile as she sit down next to me.

"Why are you?" Woah, when did I become a bitch to her.

"Wow, sorry." She says with a confused expression but sound sincere.

I sigh and take a drag from the cigarette and hands it over to her.

"No, I'm sorry. Don't know what's wrong with me. Start over?" I ask and smile at her.

"Sure, but if you bitch at me again, I'll leave." She says with a chuckle.

"Sounds fair." I chuckle along.

"So, what are you doing here today?" She asks again.

"Well, I really hadn't anything to do today so I thought why not check out the beginning of this masterwork."

"Understandable." She says and take the last drag of the cigarette before dropping it on the ground and watch the smoke slowly fade out.

"So, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I work here." She says smiling but not looking up from the ground.

"No, I mean here, here?" I gesture to were we are sitting to making my point clearer.

"Aha! Well, you got the cigarettes." She answers with a shrug and my chin drops in fake hurt.

"So, you're just using me for my cigarettes?"

"Yes." She answers trying to suppress a smile.

"So mean..." I say with trying to contain my own smile.

"Yeah, well that's me. Mean as hell."

"Yeah, that's not believable. At all." I say with a laugh.

We sit in a comfortable silence and I realize that maybe she has a clue of what made Madison so angry with me.

"So, what's the deal with Madison?"

"What do you mean?" She asks and looks at me confused.

"I'm talking about that stick up her ass that's so far in that it may be impossible to get it out."

"Seriously Ash? Really?" I may be very confused right at the tone she's using, like it's something I'm missing. But the fact that she shortened my name does wonderful things to my body and I can't help but smile.

"What?" I ask her after a moment of silence where I try to gather my thoughts and understand what she's talking about.

"You really have no clue?" She ask apparently not believing my confusion.

When I only answer her with a slow headshake she continues.

"You slept together." She says and looking away from my gaze.

It takes a second for it to sink in. No. No, it's not possible. I didn't sleep with Madison. Did I?

"You're joking with me right?" I say, really hoping she is.

She meets my gaze with a sceptic expression.

"No, I'm not. She told me this morning right before we met you. She's pretty pissed, 'cause she thinks you don't remember her. Which I now see that you don't." She finishes with a chuckle.

Now I know the reason Madison was a bitch, but still doesn't explain Spencer weird behaviour.

"I can't believe this is happening. Did she say when we slept together?" I ask as I stand up.

"Yeah, she said something about before you went to the rehab, when you still were touring."

"Well, that explains the fact that I don't remember her. I was guaranteed pretty high and drunk. And not to sound like a slut or something, she was probably not the only girl I slept with that week. Hell, not even the only one that day."

She laugh at this.

"Okay, that does sound pretty slutty." I say and grimace at my own stupidity.

Probably not the smartest things to say in front of the girl you want to be in a relationship with, but nevertheless true. Wait! Did I just say I wanted to be in a relationship with her? I did. No, I didn't! Totally going to deny this conversation ever happened in my head.

"Yeah, it kind of does make you sound a bit slutty." She says with a laugh.

"Fuck, fuck and screw me over! Jamie is so going to kill me." I say slightly panicked.

"Calm down and sit!" She orders as she reach out to take my hand and pull me back down at the bench. The tingly feelings are back as soon as her hand touches mine but it doesn't last that long as she lets go of my hand when I'm back on the bench.

"She's not going to kill you. Maybe kick your ass, but not kill you." She says and laugh.

"This isn't funny! At all. She kind of..." I trail of because I don't want to tell her that I promised Jamie to stay away from her cast and crew. Makes me sound even more like a slut than I already made myself out to be. If that's even possible.

"She kind of what?" She ask with a smile.

"Eh... Made me promise to stay away from the girls on her set." I answer and look down at my now fidgeting hands as I blush. What the fuck is with the blushing when I'm around this girl? And the nervousness, it's killing me right now.

"You promised to stay away from cast and crew?" She ask with surprise in her voice and I look up and meet her gaze. I wonder if it's disappointment I see in her eyes.

"Yeah. She said if I screwed someone over, she would fire me. Even though I technically didn't screw someone in her crew since this was a long time ago, she's not going to be happy."

"Don't say anything then?"

"Yeah, that's one plan but if things get out anyway she's still going to kill me. No, I got to tell her."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. We are having lunch later, tag along and tell her then?"

"Are you sure? Don't wanna destroy your lunch." I say with a laugh.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Besides, I think you're going to need the protection."

"No kidding. But moving along to another subject..."

"Yeah? What do you have in mind?" She says looking at me.

"Your eyes. They are sooo gorgeous today!" I say dramatically which get her to laugh.

Man, I'm on a roll today. Getting her to laugh and keeping up with the challenge with one sentence.

"I was hoping you forgot about that."

"Hoping as in winning the challenge? Because I'm not losing this one."

"Somehow I believe you." She says with a sigh.

"Besides I don't forget a pretty face that easily, you know." I say sincerely as I see Jamie climb out from a trailer and start talking to a guy.

"Uh... You kind of forgot about Madison pretty easy and she isn't really bad looking." She says with a laugh.

"Back to being mean again ah?" I laugh and realize that she kind of just called Madison good-looking. Sooo, Miss, just got out of a marriage, Carlin has been checking out girls. Interesting.

"Wait? There's two ways I can go with that statement." I say as lean back on the bench and watch as Jamie starting to make her way over to us but get hold up on the way by another guy.

"Yeah? Which are?" She says and looks over at me.

"First off I can be offended and defend myself with that I wasn't anywhere near in my right mind then. Drugs do that kind of shit to you, half of the time I didn't even know my own name. And second of..." I turn my gaze to meet her eyes for this one so I can see her reaction. "You've been checking out Madison?" I say and smile as she brakes the gaze and I see some traces of a blush showing.

"Uh... No. No, I haven't..."

"Such a pathetic lair. I hope your acting isn't this bad" I say with and laugh.

"Ouch. Who's the mean one now?" Spencer says and punch my arm lightly.

I just smile and light up another cigarette and take a deep drag as Jamie now frees herself from the guy and makes another attempt at getting to us.

"Besides, there's a huge difference between you and Madison."

"Yeah? What's that?" She asks with curiosity.

I turn to her and meet her eyes.

"You, gorgeous, I will never be able to get out of my mind." I say in a whisper as Jamie approaches us but our gaze doesn't brake until...

"Hey, douchebag! What's your problem?" Jamie snatches the cigarette from my hand. Throws it on the ground and steps on it.

What did I do now? I think as I turn to face with an confused expression.

"You shouldn't be smoking and definitely not with my star actresses this close to you!"

Spencer snickers at this and I just shake my head and give her a look saying, this might me the time to tell her you smoke. But she doesn't seem to wanna save me from Jamie's little display of wrath.

"Jesus, mom! I'm sorry. Didn't mean to poison your precious Miss Carlin." I mock her.

"Don't be a smartass." She says with a sigh.

"Sorry, did I hit a nerve?" I say as I stand up.

"No, you didn't. Don't you have somewhere to be?" She says calmly.

"No, not really. You invited me here, remember? But since you want me out of the way I'm gonna hit the nearest Starbucks for some coffee. Anyone want anything?"

"Good thinking. I want the usual." Jamie says.

"Spence, you want anything?" I say now looking at her.

"Whatever you're having." She answers meeting my eyes and smiling.

"Okay, see you in a bit gorgeous." I say winking at her and turning around. "You too, mom!" I say to Jamie as I walk away and knowing her, she's probably rolling her eyes at it.

When I get back to the set, Jamie and Spencer aren't were I left them, but I soon find them shooting a scene. I guess the schedule must have change, since Spencer told me she was free until lunch. I approach Jamie who's currently staring at a TV screen. I hand her the coffee without a word and start watching the screen to. In the scene they're shooting Spencer and her co-star is having a heated argument, mostly consisting in Spencer yelling at the other girl. It hits my why Jamie like working with Spencer, 'cause even though it's a really long scene and Spencer has really long lines, she doesn't falter a bit. It takes them three takes because of the other girls screw ups.

"Awesome Spence and Jenny! You can go on lunch break now, be back here at one." Jamie says as she walks over to Chelsea to discuss the next scene. I check my watch as I walk over to Spencer, 10:52am.

I hand her the coffee with a smile which she returns.

"Thanks."

"Your quite welcome. You did good out there."

"You think?" She questions with a smile.

"Of course. No wonder why Jamie is so protective of you and keen on keeping you around."

"What does that mean? And why wouldn't I stay around?" She looks at me with a curious smile.

"What? No, it doesn't mean a thing. Simply..." Why was I born with an IQ of 12? And how do I save this now? Come on! She's waiting for an answer.

"Simply that she want you around, I don't know..." Stupid, stupid, stupid... She's not going to let this one go that easily.

"So it has nothing to do with the promise you made to her? You know, about staying away?" She says with a smile and draws the last words out.

I desperately need to change the subject and that is now.

"What? No, why would it?" I say trying to fake looking surprised. And how is that changing the subject? I am really digging my own grave here. God, help me please?!

"I don't know, you tell me?" She says with a smirk.

She's definitely enjoying this way too much. Me not liking this. Think brain, think!

"Ready to head in to town for lunch?" Thank you God for sending me Jamie to the rescue, without her I would be dead for several reasons.

"Yes, please!" I exclaim let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Okay, I'm not even going to ask about your overly big excitement." She says and give me a strange look and starts to walking in the direction of the parkinglot.

As I'm about to walk Spencer takes a hold on my shoulder and leans in to my ear.

"This conversation is far from over." She whispers. Her breath against my ear makes my whole body shiver and then she gives my shoulder a little squeeze and walks up to Jamie.

I would like to walk to but my brain doesn't really work the way I want it to at the moment. I just stand there, dumbstruck, until Jamie breaks my trance.

"Ashley! Are you coming or not?!" She screams as they now reach the parkinglot.

I jog up to them where they are waiting.

"What's wrong with you?" Jamie asks with a laugh as I catch up with them.

Everything?

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You look a little flustered." Spencer says with smirk.

I open my mouth to answer but nothing comes out. Not a thing, no comeback. What's wrong with me? I always have a comeback. I'm the freaking queen of comebacks! This girl is breaking me and I don't like it. Not at all. I need to step up my game and that is fast.

"So where are we eating?" Jamie ask as we all climbed in her car and she's driving out from the movie set.

"I'm thinking Spago?" I say with a smile from the backseat. I love that place. Jamie and I usually go there when there's a celebration or something like that, but now we haven't been there for a while. "It was a long time ago now, Jamie. I know you want it and it's on me." I continue with a even brighter smile.

"If it's on you then I can't say no, can I?" She says with a laugh.

"Not to kill your happiness, but how the hell are we going get a table there now?" Spencer asks biting the side of her lower looking at me.

Jamie pats her on her tight and smiles at her.

"You're forgetting who we are going to lunch with, Spence." Jamie says with a smile.

Spencer looks at me with confusion before she gets it.

"Oh, right! Famous ex-rockstar and now famous producer. Sorry, I forgot." She says giving me an apologetic smile and gaze in to my eyes.

"Definitely no need to be sorry." I answer giving her a nose, crinkling smile.

When we arrive at Spago, we get a table almost immediately and sit down to order our food and drinks. I look up at Jamie sitting across from me and then to Spencer who's beside me to the right.

Time to do my confession and my plan is to ease her, taking it slowly.

"So, Jamie? I have a confession to make." I start of with a remorseful voice, though regretting it directly because her head snaps up so fast that she probably could've gotten a whiplash injury from it and her facial expression holds a lot of worry.

"What? What did you do?" She almost screams. "Please tell me you didn't relapse again?" She continues in a lower voice.

"No!" My turn to half scream. "God, no Jamie. Of course not, how low do you think of me these days?" I ask her angry. Now I suddenly don't feel so hungry anymore. Can't believe she jumped to that conclusion. I throw Spencer a look and she sees that I'm not doing to good right now so she places a hand on my thigh, squeezing it lightly before making soothing patterns with her thumb against it. I give her a sad smile. Her touch actually helps and my breathing calms.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I was just worried. I absolutely don't think low of you in any way, the other way around actually. I think you're one of the strongest people I know." Jamie says after what seems to be forever.

"Thanks." I say with a small smile. "So, now I'm going to tell you what actually has happen and I want you to promise me no freak outs, okay?" I say trying to cover every possibility to another outburst.

"I promise."

"Okay, you can't be mad for this." I start out looking intently at her.

"Just say it Ash." She says sighing.

"And I'm not proud of it. Definitely not." I continue.

"Ashley! Say it already."

"IsleptwithMadison." I rush out looking down at the table.

"Madison? Really?" She says like she doesn't believe me.

"I can't believe it either." I mumble.

"Madison told me this morning about her and Ashley. It happened three years ago when Ashley still was on tour and she believes Ashley doesn't even remember her. This is why she was so short with Ashley today." Spencer says explaining the situation for Jamie.

"Makes sense in a way, but what doesn't make sense is the fact she is happily married and have been for a year. So don't really understand why she's pissed. I mean, it's been more then three years."

"I guess I'm hard to get over." I say with a smirk.

"Doubt it." Jamie says with a chuckle. "You really don't remember her?" She continues.

"No, I really don't. It's not so strange though, if you think about it, I don't remember much between my 18th and 20th birthday." I say with a sad smile and Spencer squeezes my thigh again. I wish she had any idea of what her action are doing to me.

"You know, if she's still pissed in a couple of days, you got to apologize to her. Okay?" Jamie says calmly.

"I know. Just hoping she gets over it by herself." I say at the same time our food arrive.

Halfway through our meal I realize Spencer's hand are still on my thigh. I could really get used to this, feels really... I trail of because as Spencer bends forward for her glass her hand moves up and more to the inside of my thigh, dangerously close to where I really want it.

The movement makes my breath hitch which doesn't go by unnoticed by either Spencer or Jamie. I see Spencer smirk as she takes another bite of her food and then I look up to see Jamie looking amused at me.

"Man, you're behaving real weird today. What's wrong with you?" She asks with a chuckle.

"Nothing wrong. All is good." I answer as I consider the pros and cons of taking Spencer's hand of my thigh or keeping it there. The only con I can come up with is that it's really hard to think of anything else besides her hand which leads to my inability to form coherent sentences so I decide that I just going the keep quiet and enjoy this while it lasts.

The rest of the dinner went by fast and so did the car ride back to the movie set. I decide I'm going to head home while they go back to work. I need to clear my head, this day has been to much for me. I'm getting totally smashed, by a supposedly straight girl, at my own game.

"Call me later, Jamie!" I yell as she leaves to go fix an emergency someone called her about.

Which means I'm alone with Spencer.

"Hand me your phone?" I say and as I get it I type my number in. "Call me if you wanna do something or just want someone to talk to." I say with a smirk as I hand the phone back to her and open the door to my Porsche.

"I will do that. See you around, Ash" She says with a smile and I really hope she will call. I close the door with a smile on my face and watch her walk away. Yeah, definitely not going to keep that promise to Jamie...


	5. Chapter 5

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter five

_It's a simple fact  
That you can't seem to handle me  
No matter how you act with them  
You can't handle me  
You gotta make me feel you got my back  
But you're a selfish  
Narcissistic psycho-freaking  
Boot-licking Nazi creep and  
You can't handle me_

I wake up to the sound of my phone, finding it I see the name of my assistant flashing at the screen.

"Hey, Johnny. What's up?" I say tiredly as I fall back to the bed again.

_"Hey, Ash. Just calling to confirm the meeting with Kings of Leon's manager at Thursday."_

"Yeah, right. Forgot about that for a minute. Have you booked the plane ticket?"

_"Of course, you leave tomorrow at 1:35pm. Mailing the info as we speak."_

"You're the best Johnny. And when do I fly home?"

_"Since you're having a party for the movie cast and crew Saturday, I booked an flight early Friday morning."_

"Again, you're the best. You know what I need before I even do." I say with a chuckle.

_"Yeah, well that's what happens when you work for someone for three years"_ He says and laughs a little. _"And Jamie called and said, and I quote, since it's raining like there's no fucking tomorrow outside the shooting for today is cancel. So I'm going with you to that freaking NA meeting at 5pm since I don't have anything better to do and afterwards we're going out and no, you have no say in this. You got to face your fucking demons and I'm going with you because again I have nothing better to do, end quote."_ Johnny says and takes a deep breath.

"Wow, how did you remember all that?" I ask with a chuckle.

_"I didn't. She made me write it down."_

"Typical Jamie." I say and laugh. "In the future, don't answer if she calls. She can call me if she wants something. But gotta go get ready now, so talk to you later."

_"Yeah, later!"_

I drop the phone beside me as I watch the alarmclock for the first time, 1:42pm. I sat up until five in the morning writing songs so it's not that strange that I've slept so long. I have a newfound creativity creeping up on me since I met the blue-eyed blonde. I smile to myself as a head in the shower.

45minutes later I sit at my kitchen island eating breakfast and watch the rain pouring down at my porch. I love my house. It's not that big, enough for me. One bedroom with my walk-in-closet, which are pretty much full of designer clothes and other random shit. The livingroom is large, with my big and cosy couch and the pooltable were me and Jamie spent countless of hours playing. The kitchen, were I should be spending more time but the face that I can't cook pretty much makes that impossible. The only thing I make in this kitchen is coffee and the occasional sandwich. The house also has a big bathroom, with the very important bathtub, and a really big porch with a view of the ocean and my private beach. Spoiled much? Yes, but I wouldn't call it spoiled, more like fortunate. It sounds better.

But the best about this place is the basement where my studio is. That's were all the magic happens. There's no place that I feel more comfortable in than down there. That's what home is all about for me.

My phone beeps on the counter indicating that I got a text message.

**Jamietxt: **Pick u up at 4? Starbucks before NA? xx

**Ashtxt:** Sounds great! xx

That gives me an hour to do nothing I think and take the last bite of my sandwich.

_It's a simple fact  
That you can't seem to handle me  
No matter how you act with them  
You can't handle me  
You gotta make me feel you got my back  
But you're a selfish  
Narcissistic psycho-freaking  
Boot-licking Nazi creep and  
You can't handle me_

My phone is really working it today, I think as I pick it up to check who's calling. Unknown.

I smile to myself as it hits me that it can be Spencer. I swallow the food in my mouth fast, don't wanna sound like a complete moron.

"Ashley speaking," I say as calm as I can.

_"Hi, Ash. It's Spencer."_

"Hey, gorgeous! What do I owe this pleasure?" I say with a smirk.

_"I was bored with the rain and all. Nothing better to do really."_

"Ah, so honoured I feel that you think of me when you're bored and got nothing to do." I say chuckling.

_"Yeah, you should."_

"I do. I'm not kidding." I say as walk over to the couch flopping down on it.

_"So, what are you up to?"_

"Not much, just watching it rain." I say with a sigh.

_"Sound like some real fun." _She chuckles.

"Would be a lot more entertaining if you were here." I say with a smirk.

_"Miss Davies, are you trying to flirt with me?"_ She says trying to sound serious but I can hear her smile.

"Maybe, maybe not. Depends."

_"Depends on what?"_

"Whether or not you're going to tell Jamie if I did?" I say with a small laugh.

_"Maybe I will, maybe I won't. You'll never know until you do."_

"Well, that's too vague for me Miss Carlin. I can't afford taking risks, especially after the whole Madison fiasco. I'm already on thin ice with Jamie and I don't want my ass kicked." I say even though I really don't care if Jamie were to kick my ass. It'd be totally worth it.

_"I'm sorry to hear that Miss Davies. I'm afraid I can't give you a better answer than that."_

After her little game with me yesterday I don't know what to think anymore. I mean, I like her and I want to find out more about her and I definitely want more than friendship with her but I can't just throw that out there. That will probably send her running and for all I know she's still straight and probably only sees this as friendly banter. Well, I need to test her. Where to start?

"Screw Jamie. What are you wearing?" I say with a smirk and runs my fingers through my hair and listen to her laugh at my response.

_"You work fast, Rockstar."_

"Well, I don't have so much time since Jamie will be here in about an half an hour and then I'll probably end up in an hospital bed so I want to make the most of." I say in a serious tone.

_"In that case I'm naked."_

Don't believe that for a second but I'm still going to imagine it being true. I close my eyes in an attempt to get a visual and it comes out pretty good.

"You're lying." I say still imagining her naked.

_"Yes, I am. Didn't stop you from getting a mental picture though, right? _She says with a chuckle. Man, this girl already knows me to well.

"Absolutely not." I say trying to leave the mental Spencer behind and concentrate on the real one. "Your eyes were drop-dead gorgeous in the mental version of you too."

She laughs and I smile in content.

"Seriously though, what are you wearing?"

She chuckles before answering.

_"I actually just got out of the shower, so only my underwear. I'm trying to find something to wear tonight."_

There comes another mental picture, not as good as earlier but still good.

"You know you just gave me another mental?" I say as I put another version of her aside.

_"Yeah? Well, this time it wasn't my intention."_ She says as I hear her move around.

She's been playing a lot of games with my mind lately and she's been enjoying far to much.

"You're play dirty, Carlin. And I don't know whether to like it or not."

_"Yeah? Tell me when you make up your mind and I'll take your thoughts into consideration." _

"Mhm... Changing subject now. So, you got a hot date tonight?" I say hoping she hasn't.

_"Not really. Going out with a couple of friends."_

"Awesome, were are going?" I say relieved that there was no date.

_"Don't know yet actually."_

"Well, come to Ego? Me and Jamie are heading there tonight."

_"Would love to Ash, but there is no chance that we can get in there."_

"Of course you can. I'll get you on the list." I say smiling that she once again forgot that with a famous name and money you can pretty much do what you want.

_"You would to that?" _She says sounding surprised and then my doorbell rings.

"Why wouldn't I?" I say and get up to open the door for Jamie. "Just text me the names of your friends and I'll get you all on the list." I continue as I open the door and Jamie walks in watching me.

"Only one catch though." I say with a smile and pick up my keys and walk out the door with Jamie following.

_"Which is?_ She asks unsure as I climb in Jamie's car.

"That I'll get to buy you a drink." I say smiling.

_"Well, that's kind of a win-win situation for me so I'm not going to complain."_

"Good. I guess I'll see tonight then." I say trying to contain my happiness.

_"Yes, you will. Bye Ash."_

"Bye gorgeous."

As we hang up I can't stop smiling. Knowing I'll see her tonight brings out the butterflies in my stomach. This girl has made a mess of me, without even knowing it.

I snap out of thoughts as Jamie clears her throat trying to get my attention. I face her and she has a weird expression on her face.

"What?" I exclaim.

"Who was that you were talking to?"

"Oh yeah, right. That was Spencer. I invited her and her friends to Ego tonight." I say sounding as nonchalant as I possible can.

"How did you get her number and why do you have it?" Jamie ask suspicious as she drive away from my house.

"I didn't get her number from anywhere, she got my number from me and she called me. And she probably did that because we're friends."

Friends for now at least, but not going to tell Jamie that in the near future.

"I know you Ash, stop treating me like I'm stupid. There's a reason I told you to stay away and you know this." She's kind of pleading with me now and I can't tell her the truth about my feelings towards Spencer, not yet at least, because she's not going to believe me since I've only known the girl since Friday.

"We're just friends Jamie, I promise. She's a good person and it wouldn't hurt me to have some more of those in my life, right?" Ha! I know she won't tell me no at this. Well played Ashley.

"Yeah, that's true. Just be careful, okay?"

"I always am."

The next two hours went by fast. Spencer texted me the names of her friends and I put them on the list. The meeting were pretty good and it was still raining put not as aggressively as before. Now me and Jamie are seated in my couch eating Chinese take-out and watching old Family Guy episodes.

"I'm so full." Jamie says and puts the empty box down and lays down.

"Me too, but it's too good to throw it away."

Jamie only nods in answer.

"So I'm going to New York tomorrow."

She lifts her head at this.

"Yeah? Why and why didn't you tell me before?"

"I totally forgot about it with everything going on, Johnny reminded me today. Without him I wouldn't know half of the things that I'm suppose to do." I say with a laugh.

"True."

"Yeah, you gotta stop calling him though. He has more important things to do than take long, weird messages from you. From now on, call my phone. Okay?"

"Sure, but in my defence I only call him when I can't reach you. And you still hasn't answered the question of what you're doing in N.Y.C.?"

"Right. Meeting with Kings of Leon's manager."

"Sweet! You're producing their next album?"

"Probably." I say with a smile.

Three hours, of talk and playing pool, later we're parking Jamie's car outside Ego and make our way inside. They don't even check our ID:s in the door. They know who we are.

Jamie get caught by an old friend just inside the door, so I make my way to the bar. Bobby's working tonight, he's been here as long as I can remember.

"Hey Bobby boy!" I half yell over the bar.

"Hey, sexy! Sober tonight?" He ask. He probably heard about my mishap.

"Stone cold." I answer as he hands me a glass of water.

I sit down and lock around the club, pretty crowded even though it's a Tuesday but then again it's LA and it's Ego, doesn't matter the day. I like my life right now I think as I turn around again only to find Bobby handing me a drink.

"From the brown-haired girl at the end of the bar. I made it a virgin." He says with a smile.

I give the girl a smile. Any other time I would probably go for it but I'm not feeling it. There's only room for one girl in my mind right now, which I hate and love at the same time.

I feel a tap on my shoulder so I turn around and meet the now familiar blue eyes. My eyes roam over her body. God, she's gorgeous tonight!

I meet her eyes and she gives me a bright smile which I return.

I think it's time for a little bit of payback in front of her friends.

I give her a smirk as I once again let my eyes watch her body.

"Eyes up here, Ashley!" She says which isn't unexpected. I lift my gaze and meet her eyes still smirking.

"Sorry, it's just..."

"Just what?"

"Just the mental pictures you gave me on the phone earlier are still roaming around in my head and all I see now is your naked body." I say with a sly grin, which earns me a slap on the arms from her and some laughs from her friends.

"Ashley! For Christ's sake, please keep things like that to yourself!" She says and blushes.

"Why? I want the world to know how good that phone call left me feeling." I say smirking and giving her a wink which earns me another slap.

"Asshole." She says with a smile.

"I'm sorry. Just playing with you." I say standing up and leaning in for a hug. "You look gorgeous tonight though." I whisper in her ear as I hug her. Standing back I see her blush.

She clears her throat and turns to her friends.

"Hannah, Sara meet Ashley and please don't take the things she says seriously." Spencer says smirking at me making the other girls laugh a little. I give her a hurt look before shaking hands their hands.

"Come on, lets grab a table." I say leading them to the secluded VIP area. I sit down beside Spencer and the other two sits down on the other side of the table, I wave, Victor, one of the waiters over.

"Ladies, can I get you anything to drink?" He says.

The girls tells what the want and he turns to me last.

"I'll have a water. And, Vic, put anything these ladies want on my tab, okay?"

I see Spencer open her mouth to protest so I put my hand over it to stop whatever she was about to say.

I smile at Victor, who gives me a smile back.

"Absolutely Miss Davies." He says and leaves us.

"You shouldn't have done that." Spencer says and gives me a small smile.

"Why not?" I say smiling at her.

"Because you paid for our lunch at Spago yesterday, and that place isn't exactly cheap, and you should really hold your money better." She says and I smile at her. She really doesn't have an idea of how much money I actually got. Which is good 'cause it means she's not friends with me for my wealth. Not that I thought she was.

"You are so cute!" I say giving her a nose, crinkling smile and the other girls laugh.

"What?" She asks confused. "I know you're rich but that doesn't mean you should waste you money on us."

"Listen gorgeous, I don't wanna sound like a complete spoiled brat but these kind of expenses won't be nearly enough for my accountant to even call me this week. Far, far from it. So, don't feel bad over it. I mean, look at Jamie. She's been mooching off of me for years now." I say with a laugh, even though it's kind of true. Maybe not mooching but I certainly pay almost every time when we do something and I don't mind it either.

I don't really care about money, but I do play smart and invest in the right things so that the number only increase. I really don't have to lift a finger if I don't want to for the rest of my life and I'll still leave a whole lot of it behind.

"So, not to sound blunt or anything," the girl named Sara begins, "how much money do you really have?"

Wow, she's not the brightest kid in the class. She really thinks I'm going to answer that?

I give Spencer a quick look and she looks at Sara like she's going to kill her.

"Well, I don't think I want to answer that question." I say calmly trying to avert a situation.

"No, you really don't have to." Spencer says still looking angry at Sara who meets her gaze and they have a silent conversation where Spencer obviously tells her to let this conversation go, but she doesn't listen.

"Come on! Give me a number, rockstar? It's not like I'm going to steal it." She says looking at me now. I look at her trying to figure out where she's going with this. She looks pretty angry actually, like she's jealous. Maybe she thinks I'm not entitled to it? If that's the case she's pretty stupid, because most of it I earned myself and the rest was inherit from my father.

When I don't answer Spencer does.

"Drop it Sara." She hisses at her but she doesn't. Stupid girl.

"Okay, give me this at least? Are we talking seven or eight numbered amounts?" She says giving me a smug grin. Okay, I need a breather I think as I stand up and she follows me with her gaze, just like the other two are. I walk the small steps over to her and lean my hands on the table and almost hover over her.

"Not that it's any of your business, we're not talking about seven or eight numbers. We're talking nine." I say and stand up straight. "If you excuse me, ladies. I'm going to get some fresh air." I continue and turn around to leave and see Jamie standing there with I pretty pissed expression showing she heard every word of the conversation.

"You handled that with perfection." She says as I reach her and we start walking out of the club. "Though I was kinda hoping you would've punched her instead." She continues chuckling. I give her a smile as we walk out the door and I light up a cigarette. We just stand there in silence until the other three girls walk out with Spencer first. They don't see us at first.

"You're drunk and you're going home, end of story." Spencer says to Sara as they stop.

"Come on Spence, it isn't like she never heard it before. She's a spoiled bitch, thinking she's above everybody else just 'cause she have money." Sara says with a laugh.

Woah, I'm going to show her what a real bitch behaves like, I think and starts to walk up to them. But Jamie holds me back.

"She's not worth it." She whispers.

Spencer move up close to Sara.

"Stop talking about things you have no idea about. You don't know shit about her. Hannah? Get a cab for Sara." I like angry Spencer, she's freakishly hot!

"And you do? Really, Spence? Don't you see it? She only wants one thing from you and that's a good fuck! Why are you defending her?!" Sara says getting frustrated now.

Where does this girl even get her shit from? Sure, I want something from Spencer but it does not involve just a good fuck. Man, I'm getting angry now and I don't do angry well.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Sara." Spencer says calmer now.

"I do know what I'm talking about. Don't you see the way she looks at you? You're a piece of meat to her! She's gonna screw you over and kick you to the curb. She's a fucking bitch and an even bigger whore!"

I've heard enough. I'm going to fucking deck this girl, I think as I make my way over to them. But Jamie beats me to it, literally. Everything happens so quickly that I don't really follow.

"Shiit, I think you broke my nose!" Sara screams at Jamie as the blood cover the hand she has over her nose.

"Serves you right, bitch!" Jamie retorts as some guy holds her back.

"Jamie, lets get out of here." I say as I pull her by the arm. I don't have the energy to deal with this shit right now.

"Sure." She says calmer now and we start to walk in the direction of the parkinglot.

We are about to get in her car as we hear someone calling for us so we turn in the direction of the voice.

"Wait up" Spencer says jogging up to me.

"I'm so sorry about the things she said. I don't know what her problem is really and I'm not going to defend her. What she said is unforgiveable. I'm really sorry." Spencer says sincerely to me.

"It's okay. It's not your fault." I answer with a sad smile. "Wanna come home with me, so I can screw you over and kick you to the curb afterwards?" I say with a half hearted smile.

"Ash... I don't think that ever was your intention." She says and pulls me in for a hug. "And that could possible be the worst pick-up line ever." She chuckles as she puts her arm tighter around me. I laugh along with her as she lets go of me.

"But I'd love to. Not the part where I get screwed over and kicked to the curb, but I'd love to come with you guys if that's okay?"

"Of course" I chuckle out and we climb in the car.

"So, where to?" Spencer ask and I shrug my shoulders.

"Starbucks?" Jamie asks as she starts the car up.

"Sure." We answer in unison.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N - Next chapter! Hope you like :)**

**The song in this chapter does not belong to me, but the very talented John Legend, just wanna throw that out there in case someone thought it was ;)**

**Please read and review!**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter six

The following three days went by fast and the trip to New York was a success. I only spoke to Spencer for the briefest moments on the phone since she was working her ass off for Jamie's movie. I'm now running around in my house getting everything ready for the party and the quests that's suppose to arrive in 30minutes. And Jamie isn't exactly helping, she's seated in the couch flipping through some moviemagazine.

"Hey, ass-eyes! A little help would be nice." I say as I walk through the living room.

"Would you chillax? It's not like you're throwing a frat party. It's a small party with adults."

"Do you remember the last party I had here?" I ask referring to when two guys started to fight and one of them got thrown through the doors to my porch. Doors, of glass, that were closed! Did I mention they were made of glass? And that they were closed? Yeah, glass fucking everywhere and a guy that had to be driven to the hospital in an ambulance.

"Barely." Jamie answers laughing at the same time the doorbell rings and I move over to open it.

"Hey, baby sis." I say as I see that it's Kyla and her soon to be husband, Eric. He also used to play guitar in my band when I was touring. That's how Kyla and he met. Didn't really imagine them getting married someday when I introduced them to each other.

"Hey, Ash." She says and gives me a bright smile and gives me a hug and walks past me into the livingroom.

"Hey Ashley. Long time no see." Eric says and gives me a hug too.

"Yeah, E. Were have you been hiding lately? Wedding nerves?" I say as I close the door behind him and he chuckles.

"Actually not, working so much I haven't been able to even think about it. Have to do as much as possible before the wedding so we can have a calm and stress free honeymoon." He says with a smile and follows me to the kitchen. I take to beers from the fridge, open them up and hands one to him. I usually don't drink since I'm afraid it's gonna lead to me getting to drunk and do something stupid like last week, but a beer or two a night like this is not the end of the world.

"Look, what I got a hold of." He says with a childish smile on his lips as he reach inside his jacket and pull out a cigar. "A real Cuban one, made by the hands of an Spanish speaking old man, and then smuggled across the border only to be sold to me for a very high three figured number. And do not, I repeat do not, tell Kyla any of this, she think I bought it here in L.A. She'll murder me if she know where I got it from." He says laughing and hands it to me. Cigars is kind of my our thing. Back in the days, when life was shit, cigars were our excuse to get away from everything. We'd hide away and just smoke it in silence.

"You are simply awesome!" I say and putting the cigar up to my nose and inhales the scent of pure tobacco. "What do you say about taking this down to the beach and light it up? Before everyone comes?"

"Sounds like music to my ears." He says as he hurriedly walk out the open glassdoors.

"Where are you guys going?" Kyla asks me as I follow him.

I just hold up the cigar to answer her question.

"If someone comes, let them in. We'll be back in 20."

30minutes later we made our way back up the stairs to my house and see that most of the quests probably arrived. I hope Spencer's here. Only the thought of her makes me smile. This girl will be the death of me.

"Took you long enough." Jamie says leaning with her back on the porch's railing with Chelsea beside her.

"Nice to see you again Chelsea." I say ignoring Jamie.

"You too, Ashley. Did you have a good time in New York?" She asks with a smile.

"I did. Though it was mostly in and out, you know? The meeting went really well and I'm now the official producer to KoL:s next album." I say with a bright smile.

"I guess congratz are in order then."

"Who are we contratzing and why?" I voice says behind me and I turn around only to be meet with the bluest eyes existing. A nose, crinkling smile immediately makes its way to my face before I can stop it but it falters almost as fast as it came when I see a guy stand behind her with his hands on her shoulders. My stomach ties into a knot and jealousy shoots through my veins. I think I'm going to be sick.

"Well, Miss Davies here..." Jamie begins and gestures towards me "is going to produce King of Leon's next big selling album."

"Wow! That's really great Ash." Spencer says with a big smile as she embraces me with her arms around my shoulders.

As I hug her back the tension in my body releases a bit.

"Thanks." I say as she pulls back but not letting me go entirely as she puts her hands on my upper arms running up and down them slowly.

Her light touch is making me crazy and I lose myself in her eyes. I don't know how long we just stand there when the guy behind her clears his throat, but it's not nearly long enough.

"Oh, right." She says and let me go turning around to the guy pulling him up to us by his arm.

"Ashley, I'd like you to meet Glen, my brother." She says.

Oh, thank God for brothers! Maybe not in general, they tend to be annoying, but in this case, thank you God!

"Hi, nice to meet you Glen." I say with a smile and hold out my hand for him to take.

"You, too. I'm a big fan of you and your work. Or at least I was, until a week ago." He says with a smirk and lets go of my hand.

"Okay? How come?" I ask now feeling really confused.

"Well, now your name is really annoying after having heard it nonstop whenever I'm around, or on the phone for that matter, with my even more annoying sister." He says trying to sound serious but failing miserably as his face brea kes out into a big grin.

I look over at Spencer who's staring at her feet trying to hide her furiously blushing face, but just like her brother also failing. I think I need to step in and try to save her from total embarrassment.

"Not to sound overly conceited but that is a very common thing to happen when I'm around. It's my unbelievable charm and irresistibility that does it and lets not forget the fact that I'm hot as hell. I'm like a spell and you just wait, you'll be under it too Glen, very soon. My magic is impossible to get away from, right Jamie?" I say sounding dead serious turning to Jamie with a smirk.

"Yeah, totally!" She says dramatically taking my hands and placing a kiss on my temple before starting to sing "You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you." She releases my hands and walks backwards toward the glassdoors and when reaching them she continues singing dramatically "You'd be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you soooo much." Then she disappears inside still singing.

As our laughter subsides my tears are rolling down my cheeks.

"She is something else." Chelsea says chuckling.

"Indeed." I say as Kyla comes out looking mildly confused.

"What's with Jamie and her newfound love for Frankie Valli songs?" She asks us which causes us to laugh again.

Three hours later I've been introduced and made small talk to everyone that has to do with the movie by Jamie and I find myself forgetting their names as soon as my hand left theirs. I only have one person on my mind and I haven't gotten the chance to talk to her one-on-one which makes me really frustrated. I see her on my porch talking to a co-actor, I search through my head for his name. I think it started with an A. Can't believe I don't remember it. It wasn't more than 10minutes Jamie introduced me to him. Chuckling at myself I lean my shoulder against my livingroom wall taking a small swig at my beer and just watch the beauty on the other side of the glass. Most people have left my house at this time, either to go home or to continue the party downtown.

"Only friends my ass." Someone whispers in my ear making me jump four feet.

"Shit, you scared the shit out of me Jamie!" I say trying to catch my breath and return to my earlier position watching the blonde girl outside.

Jamie sits down on the couch but doesn't say anything. I can feel her eyes at me but I refuse to meet her gaze. I just wanna watch the blue-eyed girl.

"You have feelings for her." Jamie says more like a statement than a question.

It's no use in denying that, she knows me to well. The feelings I have for Spencer runs deeper than I dare to admit and it scares me. So much. I hate feeling vulnerable. It makes me want to run and hide. And worst of all, it makes me crave the one thing that I cannot have. The drugs.

The drugs always made me forget. It took away all feelings, made me numb and I felt safe when I was high. Obviously the safe feelings are a lie. A big, fat one. It's only a temporary barrier protecting you from everything around you and when it breaks, and it will break, you're left feeling even more scared and alone than you were before.

"Your silence speaks volumes, you know?" Jamie says since I haven't answered her.

It isn't until she says this and breaks my train of thoughts that I realize that there are tears running down my cheek. I reach up and brush them away with my free hand. Jamie sees the action and immediately walks over to me.

"Why are you crying, baby girl?" She says and places her hand on either side of my neck looking deep in my eyes.

When I don't answer she just pulls me in for a hug.

We stand there a couple of minutes before I excuse myself to clean up a bit.

She doesn't push me for an answer to her question which I appreciate.

When I leave the bathroom I decide I need a little time to myself so I make my way to the basement only to find Eric sitting at the piano stool with Kyla straddling him.

"Oh, sweet Jesus." I exclaim "Eric, quit molesting my sister and get out of my studio."

Kyla scramble of him almost falling over but finding her balance at the right time. She gives me an embarrassed look before escaping the room with Eric in tow without a word.

I just laugh at them before sitting down behind the black grand piano, lightly tracing my fingers over the keys without pushing them down. A song soon comes to me and I begin to play.

_Say that you'll stay a little  
don't say bye-bye tonight  
say you'll be mine  
just a little bit of love  
is worth a moment of your time.  
Knockin' on your door just a little  
it's so cold outside tonight  
let's get a fire burning  
oh I know I'll keep it burning bright  
if your stay, wont you save, save_

I'm so wrapped up in the song that I don't notice someone entering the room and lean against the wall behind me.

_Save room for my love  
Save room for a moment to be with me  
Save room for my love  
Save a little, save a little for me  
Won't you save a little  
Save a little for me_

This just might hurt a little  
love hurts sometimes when you do it right  
don't be afraid of a little bit of pain  
pleasure is on the other side.  
Let down your guard just a little  
I'll keep you safe in these arms of mine  
hold on to me pretty baby  
you will see I can be all you need if you stay  
won't you save, save

Oh c'mon, make time to live a little  
don't let this moment slip by tonight  
you'll never know what you're missing  
'till you try, I'll keep you satisfied if you stay  
won't you save, save

I play the last chords slowly before going over to an another melody making it up in my mind as easily move my fingers over the keys. Smiling a little at my newfound melody thinking that should build a song of it. I still have no idea that I have company in the room, I'm too wrapped up in my thoughts at the moment, and the intruder doesn't make a sound to reveal themselves.

I start to write down the notes to my new song as I slowly play them. When I'm done I realize I still have guests upstairs that I should attend to so I stand up, turning around I see the intruder. I must've jumped ten feet.

"Jesus Christ, Spencer!" I exclaim holding my hand over my pounding heart trying to catch my breath. "That's the second time tonight that I've been scared shitless. I think I might have an heart attack creeping up on me." I say still trying to calm my breath.

She giggles at me.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you." She says still giggling.

"Yeah, you did." I say taking a deep breath.

"I'm still sorry. Come here." She says pulling in to her personal bubble for a hug. "My God, you're quivering for Christ sake." She says pulling me even tighter to her, which does wonderful things to my body and the reason for the quivering changes for the, oh so much, better. Then I feel her breath against my ear.

"I'll never scare you like this again." She says with a chuckle as she runs her hands up and down my back tortuously slow applying just the right amount of pressure to make my legs almost give in and my whole body shiver.

Please do scare me, all the time, if it means I get to be this close to you. It may be the only time I get to feel this good. Then it's over. Damn my luck.

"Come on, lets go upstairs." She says taking me by the hand and drags me with her.

Nooo, I wanna hide down here with you all night and do all kinds of naughty things to your body. Make you scream so hard for release that my neighbours will be happy we're in the soundproof studio and not anywhere else in the house. I wanna make you cum so hard that the intensity of it will make you pass out and when you wake you wanna do it all over again.

Of course I don't say this, though it would be really fun to make my dreams come true but I strongly think saying this would sound pretty creepy right now. But someday... Someday I'm going to make all my imaginations come true. That I promise you. But for now, I'll be satisfied that her hand are still in mine even though we're now seated in the couch with Kyla, Eric, Jamie, Chelsea and Glen. Everyone else has left the building.

"So Ash, Madison is pretty pissed since she didn't even show up tonight. She's not even talking to me now. I hate to say it but you gotta make it right with her. Apologize, lie, do whatever it takes. Hell, sleep with her if that's what it'll take to fix this." Jamie says only being half serious with the last statement.

"Who's Madison?" Kyla, Eric and Glen says at the same time.

I am so not in the mood for this conversation. I just wanna hold Spencer's hand and enjoy the feelings it gives me. But as soon as Jamie mentioned Madison and that I should sleep with her to make it right Spencer let go of my hand, leaving mine feeling really cold and empty.

Why can't things go at least a little my way?

Damn Madison and her walking back in my life. I hate my past.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N - Next chapter! **

**This story is already finished so if you guys are lucky I might put another chapter up later tonight.  
**

**But for that to happen it'd be nice with some review, if you catch my drift ;)**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter seven

For the moment I'm on the couch, wallowing in self pity and remorse. Not attractive, I know.

After an long and really boring discussion about how to make things right with Madison last night where Kyla thought that I just should be honest and tell her that I didn't remember what happened between us which Chelsea agreed with. Jamie didn't like the idea though because it could possible get Madison even more angrier, apparently Madison thinks very highly of herself and would not be keen to the fact that I forgot her. Eric didn't give a crap, he just laughed at the fact that she was pissed even though she were married with a man and claimed to be happy. Glen thought that I should just sleep with her and that he'd be more than happy to join us. Yeah, like that's gonna happen... He said he was just joking but I hardly believe that. And Spencer... Yeah, she didn't say a thing through the whole conversation but I think I heard her mumble that we should just kill her and get rid of the body. I think my mind is playing tricks with me because she can't have said that, right?

Anyways I think we should just kill her and get rid of the body. Yeah, that idea is by far the best. No for reals, I'm gonna go with Kyla and Chelsea. Play the drugs card, 'cause lets face it I probably wouldn't have slept with her if I wasn't high.

I hate Sundays. Sundays are boooring. Sunday means work tomorrow. Or it would mean work tomorrow if I had a regular job. For the moment Sunday means facing my past tomorrow and that is bound to go bad. Ugh, Sundays are really a drag. I want Tuesday because KoL is coming and checking out my studio and we're starting up the recording of a rock album which is going to be awesome. I want Tuesday because that means Monday is gone and my life will again be somewhat normal. Hopefully.

"I really hate Sundays." I sigh to myself.

Two hours later, still on the couch and still hating Sundays, my phone beeps on the kitchen counter indicating I have a new textmessage.

I get up from the couch to get it expecting it to be Jamie again, texting the same thing she did an hour ago and the hour before that which was telling me she's bored and wants to do something, 'cause I mean hellooo? It's Sunday and everyone hates Sundays. At least we do. Anyway, I declined her offers before and will do it again because I like being bored on a Sunday. No, that's not it. Actually I have work to do, I need to write music to her freaking movie which I haven't begun with because today I'm not feeling so motivated but it will come. Soon. Hopefully. I pick my phone up and checks my messages only to be surprised. Not Jamie.

**Spencetxt:** Hey, rockstar! Wanna grab coffee w/ me?

Cue nose, crinkling smile.

**Ashtxt: **I'd love to. When/Where?

It takes about 20seconds until her answers comes.

**Spencetxt:** Pick u up in 20?

**Ashtxt: **Perfect.

I make my way to my bedroom to dress into something more presentable.

Hate Sundays? Not so much anymore. In fact, Sundays are probably the best day of the week. I'm loving Sundays!

10minutes later my doorbell rings.

"You're early." I say with a smile as I open the door.

"Well, hi to you too! I can go back and wait in my car for 10minutes and then come back if you want?" She says with a chuckle.

"Please do." I say trying to contain my smile.

"Yeah... No." She says shaking her head and walking past me inside.

I watch her walk over to the couch, sit down and pick up one of the magazines. Damn, she looks good today, well she always does but something about her is different today. She's glowing and I can't help but wonder why.

"Are you going to stand there staring at me all day holding the door open or are you going to get ready so we can leave?" She asks without lifting her head from the magazine.

Oh, shit! This is kind of embarrassing... Say something. Come on brain. A witty comment would be awesome right now.

"I'm fine right here." I say closing the door. "Wouldn't call what I'm doing staring though, more like admiring." I continue with a smirk.

"Okay...You do that then. I'm just going to keep admiring this magazine until you breake out of it." She says and now sounding a little flustered which make me smile even more. I just keep looking at her, I want to know how long she can take it. I know I won't have a problem standing here all day.

"Stop it Ash! You're making me feel weird." She says looking up meeting my eyes.

"God, your eyes are astonishing today." I say and she blushes and looks down at the magazine again. I just smiled at the fact that I made her blush. Wait? Did she say I made her feel weird? I wonder if that's a good or bad weird. I begin walking to the kitchen counter and as I pass her I ask.

"Was that a good weird or bad weird I made you feel?" I ask really hoping it won't be the last option. I look over my shoulder when she doesn't answer and sees that her blush is even bigger. Guess that answers my question I think smirking.

"You know, you forgot to compliment my eyes yesterday." She says changing the subject.

I do a quick rerun of last night coming to the conclusion that she's right.

"Damn, I did. I'm such a bad friend. Can't even keep the easiest promises." I say as I grab my phone and keys and walk over to her. "But you never told me what you wanted if you won the challenge, which really means you shouldn't get anything. But... since I feel the need to make up for me being a bad friend, you get one minute to come up with something you want?"

She sits in silence for a couple of seconds.

"You can buy me coffee?" She says.

"That's all you want?" I ask her smiling.

"You can buy me a refill too?"

"Jesus, Spence! You gotta aim higher. You have the possibility to get whatever you want. And now you only have 30seconds left to get it." I say smirking at her.

"It's to much pressure. I can't do it." She says laughing.

"20seconds, Spence."

She's silent now, thinking.

"15 and going down." I say looking at the clock on my wrist and then back at her.

She meets my eyes for the briefest moment.

"10seconds left, Carlin." I say now looking at my clock again.

I can feel her eyes on me but mine doesn't leave the clock on my arm.

"5, 4, 3, 2..."

"Will you go on a date with me?" She asks calmly interrupting my countdown.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N - This chapter goes out to those who dared to review the last one! ;)**

**You guys make me wanna post the next chapter. Without you I wouldn't have bothered to post this one today. You rock! :D**

**And now I dare you all, because I know there is a lot of you reading this fic, to review this chapter! ;) If there is more than 20 reviews I promise to post 2 chapters, maybe 3 chapters even, of this story tomorrow. It's not that hard people. If I feel good about what I wrote I will give you more to read, so it's a win-win situation ;)  
**

**Anyway, I love you all and I'll stop rambling now. Please read and review! **

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter eight

_Previously:_

_She meets my eyes for the briefest moment._

_"10seconds left, Carlin." I say now looking at my clock again._

_I can feel her eyes on me but mine doesn't leave the clock on my arm._

_"5, 4, 3, 2..."_

_"Will you go on a date with me?" She asks calmly interrupting my countdown_

Dumbstruck. That's me right now. Did she really just say that? Nooo, she couldn't.

I look up from my clock, which I've been staring at for at least 15seconds, to meet her eyes for some kind of confirmation but I find her looking down her lap.

"Come again?" I say with a shaky voice.

"I think you heard me." She mumbles.

"Yeah... I think so too, but my mind has been playing an awful lot of tricks on me lately and I'm not trusting it. Can you maybe spell it out for me or something because I need some sort of reassurance that I in fact heard what I think I heard." I say chuckling at my own stupidity.

"I'm not going to spell it out for you, but I can say it one more time if you really that unsure of what you heard." She said standing up and taking a step closer to me. "Will you, Ashley, go out with me, like on a real date and not just coffee at Starbucks?" She says and pauses before continuing. "Not that coffee at Starbucks is that bad, certainty not bad in this moment 'cause I'm kind of hungry. So, lets get something to eat and you can in the meantime process this." She moves past the still kind of dumbstruck me and walks to the door.

"Wait." I say still not moving.

"Yeah?"

"That was so not what you said before, this sentence had a whole lot of more words and can't even be counted as just one sentence and I'm still not following." I say turning around and facing her amused smile.

"God, you're slow. I think I'm taking back the question." She says with a laugh opening the door and leave me standing there.

No, that's not okay. She can't do that, can she? Why I'm still standing here? I think and rushes out the door and to her car, which she's already seated in.

There's so many things wrong with the conversation we just had. What the fuck happened with the straight girl that just got out of a marriage? This is going to be the death of me...

I'm going to die of stupidness if I don't say yes and take this opportunity and I'm going to die of Jamie beating the life out of me if I do say yes. Okay, maybe she won't kill me but I kind of like working on the movie and being a part of what's going to be her success. This is a no win situation for me and I like to win.

Spencer drives in silence, I wonder what she's thinking about. I throw a glance at her. She is really beautiful, no doubt about that one.

But she's straight for Christ's sake. I'm going to have to ask her to get some sort of clarity in this. Seem so lame to ask a question like that though, but I have to. So here goes nothing. Or everything.

"But, you're straight?" I stammer out. So not how I planned the sentence in my mind.

"What?" She says confused and throws a glance at me before looking back at the road.

"Your straight? I mean you just got out of a marriage..." This is going to well. Not.

She turns the car off as we are now at Starbucks parkinglot. She turns facing me.

"Yes, I was married... to a woman, Ashley." She says still looking at me.

Say whaaaat? My head turns so fast I might get whiplash from it.

"What?!" I am totally being Punk'd right now, right?

"I thought you know this since you're so close with Jamie. They were pretty close friends until shit hit the fan and getting..."

"I repeat; what?!" I interrupt. I'm really, really confused right now. Like really fucking confused as in you just found out that you're dad in fact is your mom and your mom in fact is your dad and both of them did a gender transformation. Okay, that was a really weird and sick comparison, even for me, but it works. If you ever went through that, you know how I feel now. Jamie knew all this time and made me believe the girl of my dreams were straight, just to keep me away from her. Right... stay away, forgot about that for a while. Now Spencer's confused too.

"What as in...?" She ask with her eyebrows furrowed.

"As in I'm going to freaking murder Jamie!" I say feeling myself getting angry.

"What? Why? What does she have to..." She trail off as she understand what I'm talking about. "She told you I was straight?" She asks disbelievingly.

I only nod my head in answer and then lean my head back at the headrest.

"Why would she do that, Ashley?" She asks confused.

"To keep me away from you." I say in an almost whisper before I hit myself with my hand on the forehead repeatedly. Spencer stops my abuse by taking me by the wrist.

"Why would she wanna keep you away?" Spencer asks in a dead serious tone and releasing my wrist.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." I mumble as I lean forward with my head in my arms. I can't do this shit. If Jamie goes so far that she'd lie to me about something like this, she really doesn't want me around this girl. I mean, I understand her, she wants her movie to be as perfect as it can and I don't blame her for that but she didn't have to lie to me. I didn't even thought that I had a chance with Spencer and now that I know I do I can't take it. Jamie is my best friend and she has done so much for me through the years we've known each other. I can't let her down. And that I'm already on my way to do, with Madison and now this. And really want to keep my job, I got it for a reason and Jamie trusts me to do magic with the music and I know I can do it too.

"Ashley, answer me. Why would she want to keep you away?" She sounds like she's running out of patience now.

"Because I'm a fucking screw up, okay?!" I say half screaming. "I screw over people and I don't mind doing it. I mean, look at my track record. We have a brilliant example that is named Madison. She's pissed at me and Jamie 'cause I screwed her over three years ago. Three fucking years and she still holds a grudge and the sick thing is that I can't fucking remember what I did to her that made her this way." I continue still half screaming. I take a deep breath before continuing in a calmer voice "I'm destroying Jamie's movie without even trying. That is who I am, who I'm always going to be. She wants me to stay away from you for a reason and that reason is that I'm only going to damage you and she needs her best actress to stay intact so Jamie can make the masterpiece that she deserve to." I finish my speech taking a deep breath and once again lean my head back to the headrest.

It's so quiet in the car that you could hear a pin drop and I'm really craving the things that would make mind stop spinning and make me feel better, if only for a moment.

"So were does that leave us?" Spencer breaks the silence with a shaky voice. I don't dare to face her so I close my eyes wishing so, so bad that there could be an us.

"It leaves us nowhere. There can't be an us." I say with a sigh. It's better for the both of us that I let her down before there is an real us than I do it when there are real emotions involved letting her down even more, right? Ugh, who am I kidding? My emotions feel pretty real now. But I refuse to break the blonde beauty's heart like I know I will and leave an even bigger mess than I'm doing now. If I only met her under different circumstances. If I only wasn't such a broken and heartless human being. I need to get away from her and keep away. For my own sake, for Jamie's sake but mostly for her sake.

"I'm sorry Spencer. I gotta go." I say opening the door without even a glance her way. I don't dare to look into her beautiful eyes, afraid of what they are showing. She doesn't say anything, she just lets me go and I'm hoping she understands.

As I walk away I let the tears, that I've been struggling to hold back, fall.

After an hour of just walking around I find myself standing outside a bar. It takes me 10minutes of an internal battle before I go in and another 10minutes of just sitting at the bar before I order the strongest and biggest shot they have and now I'm just sitting and staring at the liquid poison in the glass. Don't know how long I've been staring at it when someone sits down beside me.

"You've been staring at that for the last 15minutes. You gonna drink it?" I smile a little hearing it's Kyla and that she's been watching me, probably to see if I was to give in to my cravings. My eyes never leaving the fluid as I dip my pinkie finger in it bringing it up to my nose smelling the strong liquor and then drying my finger on my jeans.

"I've been staring at it for much longer than that." I say without lifting my gaze from the glass in my hand. I wonder how she found me.

"Spencer called me." Ah, that answers my question and I now wonder if she can read my mind.

"Wanna get out of here?" She asks carefully.

No, she can definitely not read my mind. If she could she'd probably say something in line with; no, Ash. I'm not letting you get drunk and high. That's only going to do more damage than good and you know this. I'm not letting you get back to square one, you've come too far for that and you're going to get through this. The Kyla in my head is so right but that doesn't make it easier.

"Whatever it is that happened, you're going to get through it. We're going to get through it." She says standing up and placing a hand on my arm.

Maybe she can read my mind after all. I put the glass back on the counter and stand up.

"Let's go home." I say and make my way outside.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N - Only one chapter today people! I need more reviews! ;) Yes, I know I'm being very needy :P**

**Hope you like this one!**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter nine

Mondays... Officially not I fan of those either anymore. I'm back on my couch, wallowing once again in self pity and remorse and you know what? It's still not attractive.

I woke up early today, 'cause I gotta head to the movie set and talk to Madison but since I'm not very much in the mood for that I ended up in my couch trying to gather my thoughts and some courage. With my luck I'll probably run in to Spencer which will suck. I'm definitely talking to Jamie too, give her a piece of my mind. That bitch isn't really on my list of people I like right now. No, definitely not. Anyways, I've been on my couch the last two hours and the clock is now 10:13am, which means I really got to go if I'm going to manage to do all the things I have to do today. I have to go to an NA meeting since I'm not going to be able to do that tomorrow because I'll be spending to whole day in the studio with Kings and after my almost relapse yesterday it'll be good for me. Kyla and Eric is having a dinner at their house tonight with relatives and close friends which means Jamie's going to be there. Fun, fun, fun.

I didn't tell Kyla what happened yesterday and she didn't ask. I'm going to tell her though, I just don't now when 'cause I don't wanna bother her with my shit right now when she already got so much on her plate. She's getting married Saturday. Yeah, my little sister is getting married. I'm really happy for her. And for Eric, I think I might going to have the big sister talk with him tonight. Yeah, that one. Where I tell him if he hurts her I'm going to make him into a very crippled person. And then I'm going to bury him alive. Harsh? No, I don't think so.

10:27am, yeah the clock is ticking. Hm? What's with that phrase anyway? The clock is ticking? Actually my clock is pretty quiet. Doesn't make a sound. But it wouldn't make much sense if the phrase were; the clock is quiet. Sounds more like it's dead. Come on, the clock is quiet! No, that does not make sense. Not even a little. But then again, what does? Not my life that is for sure. Man, I'm stalling now. Got to go.

I get up from the couch, gather my things and leave the house.

30minutes later, after an long detour almost changing my mind and turn back home, I'm parking my car at the movie set. As I walk slowly through the area I spot Madison. Here we go! Life is so much fun, loving it.

"Madison, wait up!" I shout after her and she stops and turn my direction.

"Hey, what's up?" I say carefully as I reach her and we begin walking together.

"Not much, just hanging around here today waiting for something to do. After all I'm getting paid to be ready at all times for whatever I'm needed for." She says offering me a small smile that looks sincere. Maybe she's not mad anymore, she doesn't look mad and she is talking to me which is an improvement.

"Sounds pretty good." I say.

"Yeah, it is. So what are you doing here today? Looking for Jamie?"

"No!" I answer a little to fast and she gives me a confused look. "Jamie and I aren't really on speaking terms. Or I'm not speaking to Jamie." She chuckles at me.

"Sooo. What are you doing here?" She asks again and stops walking.

"Well, I was looking for you."

"Okaaay. Not to sound weird, but why?" She asks looking really confused.

This really isn't how I imagined this conversation in my head. I expected her to avoid me, scream at me and maybe even a slap or two. Expect the worst, you know?

"Jamie thinks you're mad at me for... you know... what happened..." I say really slowly hoping this doesn't backfire.

"What are you talking about?" She asks and I think she's smirking now.

Is she really going make me say it? I don't wanna do that. I wanna erase it and never think about it again. I already said it out loud to many times and I really don't enjoy it.

"Uh.. for eh... you know?" Please know, pretty please know.

"Relax, Ashley. I'm just playing with you chica. I know what you're talking about and I was never mad."

What, she wasn't? Why did she act so weird then.

"You weren't?"

"Maybe a little disappointed at first when you didn't remember, but then I overheard Spence and Jamie talking saying you didn't remember much from that time because of the drugs. So, now I understand why and I've left it behind me and you should too. It's in the past now."

She sounds sincere but something feels weird.

"But why didn't you come to the party Saturday? And Jamie says you've been mad at her?"

"I couldn't make it to the party, I had a dinner with my husbands parents which I couldn't get away from. And well Jamie, she totally crushed some of my work which I took to the heart. But I'm over that now too, so we're all good. Anymore questions Miss Davies?" She asks with a smirk.

"No, I'm good now." I say with a smile. Damn Mondays are getting a little better.

"Lovely and I promise I'll come to the next party. Was totally bummed out that I missed this one. A party at the legendary Ashley Davies's house shouldn't be missed." She says with a laugh.

"It actually was pretty uneventful, almost boring." I say chuckling. "I gotta throw another party in the near future to prevent my reputation from a total destruction."

"Yeah, you totally should and you should definitely invite me. I'll help you put yourself back on the map."

"No doubt about that." I say. "You know what, Duarte? I think you and I could be friends."

"Agreed, Davies. But I gotta run now, so we'll have to work on our friend thing some other time. Jamie has probably gone nuts by now." She says chuckling.

"Yeah, definitely sounds like Jamie." I say with a small smile. "Do you know where I can find Spencer, by the way?"

"Yeah, she's probably in the actresses' trailer. I can show you, it's on my way anyway." She says and starts to walk.

"Thanks." What am I doing? Why am I on way to see Spencer? This not going to be pretty. But I feel like I have to say something about yesterday and the fact that she called Kyla to come and find me. Kyla knew where to find me, which means Spencer probably saw me going in at that bar, which means she followed me, which means she probably saved me from destruction. Why would she care? After the way I treated her, she shouldn't be caring.

"We're here." Madison says motioning towards the trailer door and then turning to open it.

"Hello guys. Someone's here to see you Spence." Madison says looking inside and then giving me a smile and walks away. Wonder who's in there more than Spencer. I take a deep breath before stepping inside and seeing Spencer and the guy, with the name that starts with an A sitting around a table in the back of the trailer.

"Hi." I say with a sad smile looking at her.

"Aaron, will you leave us alone for a sec?" She says turning her head to him. Well, now I know his name and I was right. Started with two A:s even.

"Of course." He says and leaves us to our silence just staring at each other. Saying something would probably be a good idea now Ashley. Come on brain, form sentences please.

"So, what do I owe the pleasure of the screw up Ashley's presence? I mean, weren't you suppose to stay the fuck away?" She says with a harsh tone.

Ouch, that hurt. Get the anger though, I deserve it. Angry Spencer is still very hot, too bad the anger is directed at me now.

"I just wanna thank you for calling Kyla yesterday. So, thanks for caring even though I was a royal bitch to you and didn't deserve it." I say sincerely and when I get no response I continue "I'm gonna go find Jamie now, so guess I'll see you around." I say turning to leave.

"Wait." She mumbles and I turn around facing her again and wait for her to continue.

"You are okay, right? I mean... you didn't, you know? Yesterday." She says quietly. Why does she care? If I were in her shoes I probably wouldn't give a damn.

"Yeah... I'm fine. Your phone call probably saved me. If Kyla hadn't arrived I don't know where I would've been today." I say with a sigh running my hand through my hair. "So, thanks again." I say once again turning around to leave but only to be stopped when I reach the door and have my hand on the handle to open it.

"Ashley?" She says with a shaky voice.

"Yeah?" I say without turning around.

"Take care, okay?" She says sadly sounding like this is goodbye and it kind of is. We won't see each other for other things than work and barely even that since I'll work from home. Even though I know it's for the best, it breaks my heart a little.

I just nod in acknowledgement before opening the door and leaving her for the second time in two days.

It doesn't take long for me to find Jamie, she's standing by a table staring down at some papers. I walk up to her.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I ask trying to contain my anger. This is not the time and place for a total Ashley outburst.

"Save it Ashley! I really don't have time for this shit now and I already got the lecture from Spencer and I'm pretty sure she covered everything."

Cue total Ashley outburst.

"Yeah? You think? Well, I don't think she did. And I don't care if you don't have time for this now. In fact I don't give a fuck about you and your needs right now. We are doing this now because the next time we meet will be at Kyla's and I refuse to do this there in front of her family. Do you have any idea what I went through last night? How the fuck could you lie to me about something like this? I mean, you could've just ask me to stay away nicely but no, why do it the right way? You fucking crossed the one line we promised each other we would never cross when we left rehab. Never keep secrets! That's what we promised each other before we walked out those doors and you just majorly screwed that up, you know that? And for the sake of what? Your fucking movie. That promise has saved me so many times through the years, knowing that I couldn't do something without having to tell you in shame about it afterwards. You failed me Jamie and you did it the worst way possible." I finish my rant taking a deep breath.

"What's the big deal Ashley? She's just a girl." Jamie says with tears in her eyes.

"The big deal is that I can't trust you anymore which means I can't be your friend." I say with a sigh.

"Ashley, you don't mean that? I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have lied to you. I'm so, so sorry!" She says desperately.

"No. Drop it Jamie. From now on, don't talk to me unless I tell you to. And, Spencer, she's definitely not just a girl. She makes me feel something I've never felt before. But since you went through so much trouble keeping me away from her, I'm going to do that. I may be a screw up but unlike you, I don't screw over the people I love." I say calmly before walking away.

Ugh, this day has not been one of the greatest and now I'm on my way to Kyla to play happy family. Yay! Just what my day needs. I can't wait to get home so I can sleep away all this, pretend it never happened and dream of a better world. I pray to God the night will be uneventful. I can't handle more drama.

As I park my car outside Kyla's house I notice Jamie's car is already there. Too bad, hoped she would stay home. I don't bother knocking and make my way through the house knowing that they all are probably out back.

"Kyla, I don't know how to fix this." I voice, that is Jamie's, from the kitchen speaks up sounding pretty broken. I quietly steps closer to eavesdrop. This ought to be interesting.

"Well, you better come up with something 'cause you're her safety net and without that I don't know how long she'll make it. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister to death and she is one of the strongest persons I know, but you've been the only consistent thing in her life since rehab, except for me. But we are sisters and that is not nearly the same as your relationship with her. You understand her on a level that I never will be able to." Kyla says before continuing "What the fuck did you do anyway? Neither of you are speaking to me. I know something pretty big must have happened yesterday but I don't get it."

"I lied to her, which is unforgiveable, since our whole relationship is built on one promise and that was to never keep secrets. I broke it and I hate myself for it." Yeah, you should...

"What did you lie about?"

"Spencer. I made Ash believe she was straight in order to keep her away from her."

"That is absurd Jamie, and really stupid. Didn't you think for a second that hell would break loose if, no when the truth came out, which it obviously did."

"I wasn't thinking."

"Again obviously. Besides can't you see the attraction between them, it's almost ridiculous." Kyla says laughing. "They kept stealing glances at each other all night Saturday, though I don't think either of them saw the other one do it." I can't help but smile at this and wonder how Kyla saw it but not me.

"Don't you want her to be happy Jamie?"

"Of course I do! What kind of question is that?"

I take this as my cue to enter, I walk quietly back to the door opening it only to throw it closed.

"Hellooo! Anybody home?"

"In the kitchen." Kyla calls back.

"Hey Sis." I say hugging her, ignoring Jamie's presence.

"Hey, want a beer?" She says.

"No, thanks. No alcohol for me today." I don't dare to drink anything today, I know I'll just want more and more until something bad happens.

"Well, I'll leave you two to talk." Kyla says and starts to walk away.

"Not necessary, I've got nothing to say to her." I say walking past Kyla and out to the backyard.

The night when by pretty fast, and the clock is now 11:57pm as I leave the bathroom to go downstairs and say goodbye to the ones that are still here. Got a early start tomorrow so I better get home to my lovely bed. As I walk down the stairs I see Jamie standing at the bottom waiting for me. Damn, couldn't she just left me alone? I need to process all this shit. She sounded really sincere and very sorry when she and Kyla talked but that's a conversation I'm not to suppose to have heard. I'm definitely not going to forgive that easy, she is going to have to work for it, hard. I walk past where she's standing without a word. I'm going with the silent treatment for now.

"Come on Ash. I'm sorry, okay?"

I don't answer her, just take my car keys and my jacket.

"Please talk to me Ashley?" She says desperatly. Do not give in, do not give in.

"I told you before, I've got nothing to say to you." I say and leave her standing there.

Damn, what happened with silent treatment? Well, at least it was just a rerun of what I said in the kitchen.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N - Next update for you my favourite people! :) Now we're pretty much half way through this story.  
**

**Please keep me happy by reviewing! Hope you enjoy this one! :)**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter ten

When I said my goodbyes to the ones left at Kyla's house I made my way to my car, starting it and leaving the property. But instead of going home I find myself driving to the cemetery where my father is buried. As I climb out I almost wonder what made me go here. Who the fuck visits a graveyard in the middle of the freaking night? Me, apparently. Seriously though, what happened to street lights? There's like four here and they all are around the little chapel. I strongly starting to believe that graveyards are made only for rapists and murderers. I'm only hoping they have a day off work today.

I slowly make my way to my fathers gravestone and when I'm there I sit down on the grass. Coming here always make me feel a little better about myself 'cause even though my father never were home, always out on tours or partying, I know he loved me very much. On the rare occasions that we were together, he always made the moment stick out someway. I love him very much but I also hate his guts, for so many reasons. Mainly because the drugs. The drugs that took him away from me and was about to take my life too. I know, you can't blame everything on the drugs but my therapist and I agree on that my fathers death probably was the reason I started using. I was just a child back then with no parents watching out for me, teaching me right from wrong. For me right meant wrong and wrong meant right in so many situations. I wanted to go in my fathers steps playing my music for the world and my subconscious wanted to take things even further by also partying, drinking, sleeping around and using just like he did. I mean, it can't be wrong wanting to do what your parents do, you're suppose to look up to them, right?

I sigh and light up a cigarette, they always seems to ease the tension in my body.

Why is it when one problem solves another one is waiting around the corner? Can't everything just be easy for a change? Is that really too much to ask for? I mean, first I screw up with the cocaine and when I get my head wrapped around that one Madison shows up and when that problem is fixed Jamie totally fucks me up. In the middle of this is Spencer. Yeah, she is something else. Sure, that chapter is closed now which leaves me feeling pretty much miserable. If Jamie hadn't lied to me from the beginning and just asked me to leave her alone I probably would have. Because the fact that I thought Spencer was straight made it so much more enjoyable to play games with her thinking it was only innocent and friendly banter. Maybe not so friendly, but still... I didn't think I had a chance, not even the slightest. Maybe I was so blinded by my own feelings towards her and all the shit that happened around me that I didn't see what was right in front of me. Because I see it now, the touches, the hugs that were a little more than friendly, the looks, the staring contests, the blushes whenever I complimented her and so on. And somewhere along the way I fell in love with her. Yeah, I desperately need to reboot my gaydar. Wait? What? Stop right now and back up. What did I say before the gaydar thing? Noooo? I didn't. Can't have. I don't fall in love with people. That is just plain stupid, one of you always end up hurt and I for one do not cope well with being hurt. Almost as bad as I cope with being the reason that someone I like is hurt. No, this is just not happening. I take that statement back immediately. I forbid my heart to feel that way. My mind is the boss of my body and my mind says no.

"Ugh, I'm a just kidding myself Pops?"

I can just hear him laughing at me.

"It's not funny. Not even a little bit so stop it."

And now I'm talking to dead people, what's next? Seeing them too?

I can just feel a movie quote coming to me.

"I see dead people." I say trying to imitate Haley Joel Osments line from The Sixth Sense.

"I certainly hope you don't." A voice says from behind me making me jump to my feet and turn around so fast that I almost fall.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" I shriek and then backs a few feet to get some distance between me and the guy now laughing at me. Should I run?

"What the fuck is your problem? Are you trying to scare me to death?" I scream at him and he just laughs even more. It's

"Seriously? Who the fuck creeps up on girls in the middle of the fucking night at a graveyard? My God!" I say trying to slow down my breath and pounding heart. What's with people and scaring the shit out of me lately? I don't know how many more times I can take it before I actually will have an heart attack. His laughter has subsided now and he just looks at me with a smirk. Yeah, he thinks he's funny? Well, I don't. Not even a little bit.

"The more interesting question though is what the hell are you doing at a graveyard in the middle of the night?" He says still smirking. I swear I'll wipe that fucking smirk of with a right hook very soon if he doesn't do it by himself.

"You're a friend of..." He turns his head to my fathers grave turning a flashlight on and as he reads the name the smirk on his face disappears being replace with a confused one which I like much, much better, "...Raife Davies?" He finishes turning his head back to me.

"Daughter."

"You're The Raife Davies' daughter?"

I just nod my head in answer.

"Which one of them? No, wait?" He says turning on the flashlight again and now directing it at me. Damn that's a bright light.

"Ashley Davies as I live and breath." He says turning the flashlight to the ground.

"The only one." I say. "Can you maybe flash yourself up to so I can see the man that's going to murder me?" I say which makes him laugh and then bring the flashlight up so I can see him. About my age, dark hair, pretty muscular and he's wearing a security guards uniform. That probably explain what he's doing here.

"I was checking that everything was good with the chapel when I saw smoke coming from here so I decided to check it out. Didn't mean to scare you. You looked so calm but when you said the I see dead people line I just had to say something." He says chuckling.

"Well, I'm glad to you got a good laugh at my expense, though you nearly killed me." I say with a small laugh.

"Yeah... Sorry about that."

"It's cool, so what's your name?"

"Aiden Dennison." He answer and reaches out his hand which I take.

We stand there and talk for at least 20minutes and it ends with us changing numbers and then I'm on my way home. When I park the car I can feel the tiredness hit my eyes and I make myself ready for bed fast. My head barely hits the pillow before I'm asleep.

So, today was a good day. My mind has been occupied all day with KoL in the studio working on their new album, so far so good. They came in around nine this morning and just left an half an hour ago leaving me with a studio to clean up and a bunch of pizza boxes in the kitchen. Boys... need I really say more. Tomorrow I'm leaving them with this shit since I unfortunately have to go to the movie set and collect some footage so I can start with the music to the movie. A lot on my plate right now which is very much appreciated. Leaves me thinking less. I throw myself on the couch and checks the clock, 10:07pm. Loooong day.

As I find myself drifting of to sleep the doorbell rings. Who the fuck comes to someone this late, without even calling? Groaning I make my way over to the door, swinging it open only to find Jamie and Spencer on the other side.

"Ashley Davies meet Spencer Carlin. She's gay, you're gay which is freakishly awesome and I really think you guys will hit it off. Byebye now." And then she's gone.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N - Here's another one! Since I haven't updated for a couple of days I'll upload another chapter later today ;)  
**

**Please keep me motivated by reviewing! :)**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter eleven

_Previously:_

_As I find myself drifting of to sleep the doorbell rings. Who the fuck comes to someone this late, without even calling? Groaning I make my way over to the door, swinging it open only to find Jamie and Spencer on the other side._

_"Ashley Davies meet Spencer Carlin. She's gay, you're gay which is freakishly awesome and I really think you guys will hit it off. Byebye now." And then she's gone._

I just stare at Jamie's car driving away from my house. What the fuck?! She can't just drop Spencer off and then leave. What the hell does all this mean? Some kind of explanation would be really fucking good right now? She is so weird and so is this situation.

"So, this kind of weird I think..." Spencer says looking at me. Right, Spencer's here. And what's with the mindreading shit?

"Well, that makes two of us. You have no idea how fucked up things are in my mind right now." I say giving her a small smile.

"Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea. It's all over your face." She says with chuckle. First she reads my mind and now my face? What is she? Some kind of superwoman? I bet she is. And a bet she would look reeeeally hot in a costume...

"Wow, your face says totally different things now. What are you thinking, Rockstar?" She says with a head tilt. Wow, that is sooo cute. So cute that even the cutest... no, stop. When did I start to use the word cute so much? So totally not me. I blame the head tilt. Yeah, it's all her fault. She's turning me into a... ugh something that ain't me...

"You do not wanna know." I say giving her a smirk.

"Okaaay. Are we gonna stand here all night?"

"No, we're not. Come in." I say walking over to my couch sitting down at the end of it and she sits down on the other end. Way to far away for my liking.

"I don't bite, you know." I say giving her a smirk.

"Oh, I don't know about that. You bit pretty hard bitching at me the other day." She says with a little harshness in her voice. Okay, still a angry I see, with right to be.

"Yeah, sorry about that." I say standing up and fetching us two beers, giving her one before sitting down again a little closer to her this time.

"Why do you put yourself down like that?" She asks after a moment of silence.

"I don't put myself down, it's the truth. I am a screw up and I've always been. Everything I said the other day is true. After all the shit I've done in my past I don't deserve people to care about me. I'm incapable of giving anything back. I only take and take until people have nothing left to give me and then I leave them 'cause if they've nothing left to give I'm not in need of them anymore. I'm have no right to feel anything anymore after treating people like shit for so long. The only people that put up with my shit is Jamie and Kyla. Kyla does because she's obligated to me by blood and why Jamie does it I don't know. Probably because we've been through so much together." I say in a low voice before taking a big swig from the beer. I can feel her eyes on me and it's like they are burning a hole in me.

She studies me for a moment before answering me.

"You make yourself sound so worthless. Like you don't deserve to be even remotely happy. You're so convinced that it's only right that you go through life alone and I'm starting to believe that it's impossible to convince you otherwise." She says with a sigh still looking at me. "Is it impossible Ashley?" She asks sounding really tired.

How do I even respond to that question? I'm going with no response. She gets up from the couch and starts to pacing in front of me.

"You know what Ash? I'm not in the mood for your games. I want to be in your life but I won't put up with your shit. You've got to get over your past. The past you, before rehab, and the present you are not the same people. Ask yourself these questions; how many people have you "screwed over" since you left rehab in comparisons with before? And what is the differences with your life then and now? I think you'll find the answers quite interesting." She says calmly. Damn, she's pretty good. I wonder if my therapist put her up to this 'cause this is pretty much the same questions she asked at our last session, right before it ended so I never really answered them and haven't thought about them until now. Maybe a higher force is trying to tell me something. Well, time to avert this conversation. Definitely not answering those questions right now.

"Do you want me to write the answers down and hand them in to you on Monday? 'Cause I need a little time with them." I ask with a smirk.

She just looks at me with a little smile and shaking her head. I'm not stupid, I know she knows I'm dodging the questions.

"It's so sad that you think you're funny now." She says still smiling and shaking her head.

"I don't think I'm funny... I know I am." I say still smirking.

"Well, I was serious. You're not the same person Ashley."

"How could you possibly know that? You didn't know me back then."

"It doesn't take a genius to see that you've built a pretty good life for yourself since rehab. Your career is better than it's ever been, you're healthy, you hardly drink anything, you're clean from drugs, you got the most amazing people around you, aside from Jamie making an ass of herself lately, you're strong, beautiful and have your whole life ahead of you."

Wow, she should totally write my personal ad! And she said I was beautiful. I could die happy now.

"And... I like long walks on the beach, watching the sunset on a blanket with a good glass of wine and... wait for it!" I say holding up my hand in a stop motion "But most of all I enjoy a meaningful discussion about the depths of classical music from the years between 1750 to 1820." I say with a serious expression. "Yeah, lets put that up on a dating site like right now!" I continue giving her a nose crinkling smile and she's back to shaking her head.

"You're stupid." She says with a smile sitting down again.

"I know." I say like it's the most obvious thing in the world before I lay down on the couch with my head in her lap.

A comfortable silence fills the room and she runs her fingers through my hair a couple of times which makes me sigh in contentment thinking I could really get used to this.

"By the way, you totally had me until the classical music line." She says serious which makes me chuckle.

"Well damn, that's too bad because my love for the classics runs too deep for me to leave behind for someone. Even for you."

"Yeah? I guess we'll have to work around it then."

"Yeah... I guess so." I say taking her hand in mine intertwining our fingers. Her hand in mine makes me feel like I'm on top of the world. I imagine what it would feel like kissing her if this feels so good. Gotta find out soon. I'm amazed over how well our hands fit together, like they were made for each other.

Ugh, why does my neck hurt like hell? I blink couple times trying to get the sleep in my eyes away and as my brains registers what I'm seeing I find I'm still on the couch now facing the inside of it and there's a blanket covering me. Must be Spencer's doing 'cause I don't remember doing it myself. I wonder how she manage to move me without waking me. Now, where is the girl? I slowly turn around and sitting up finding her on the other side of the couch.

She looks so peaceful I think as kneel down beside her. I tuck a stray of her blonde hair behind her ear and I can't stop myself from tracing her jaw line with my index finger. She is so beautiful and she looks so innocent and almost untouched right now. She slowly wakes up from my light touch to her face.

"Hey, beautiful." I say with a smile when I know she's awake.

"Hey." Her voice is all raspy from sleep which makes the butterflies in my stomach go crazy.

"Sleep okay?" I ask as I run my fingers through her hair.

"Yeah... you?"

I nod my head in answer. I wanna kiss her so much right now, I don't know if I can contain myself from doing so any longer. She's so perfect.

"What time is it?" She ask trying to stifle a yawn.

I look up at the clock in the wall.

"8:48."

"Shit!" She says sitting up abruptly.

"What?" I ask her confused and sit beside her.

"I gotta be on set in 10" She says putting her shoes on. "Can you drive me?" She ask turning to me when she's done with her shoes.

"No, I can't." I say giving her apologetic smile.

"Okay, have work or something to do?" She says standing up.

"Yeah, actually Kings of Leon will be here..." There's a knock at the door "...now." I say as I stand up and moves to the door. "But feel free to borrow any of my cars in the garage." I say as I reach the door with her following.

"Hey Followills, come in." I say and Caleb, Jared, Nathan and Matthew walks in looking at my guest.

"I'm guessing this is the blonde beauty you were talking about yesterday, that is unless you have more than one hanging around?" Jared says with a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah. Funny... Guys meet Spencer. Spencer meet the assholes whose record I'm going to destroy..." I say giving her a smile and she chuckles and then shake hands with them before turning to me.

"I'd like very much to stay but Jamie is probably already killing me in her thoughts."

"She's the one that left you here without a car. She's lucky I trust you to not crash any of my cars."

"Which is the least expensive one that you own?" She says giving me a pleading smile.

I walk over to where my car keys hanging, taking down the one to the Ferrari 599 GTB, certainty not the cheapest of them but if she's borrowing one of my cars she has to ride with style.

"Here." I say and holds the keys to her but Caleb snatches them and looks at the Ferrari brand.

"I was in your garage yesterday, and this is not the least expensive one. This is most definitely the most expensive one."

"Give the keys to Spencer, she's already late." I say and he does. "She needs the fastest one so she won't be any later." I say with a smirk.

"No, Ash. I can't borrow your Ferrari."

"Oh, yes you can and you will. Now, go!" I say still smirking and pointing towards the garage.

"Are you sure?" She says as she starts to walk out the door.

"Absolutely. It's gonna make Jamie insane with jealousy. I still haven't let her drive it." I say smirking.

"Okay. Lunch together?" She asks smiling.

"You bet gorgeous. Come here when you have your break." I say leaning at the doorframe.

She nods and turn around walking in the garage. I hear the car starting up and then the doors open and she drives out. She looks insanely hot behind the wheels. When she's gone I turn around to find four guys looking at me.

"What?" I say.

"Whipped." They all say at the same time before turning around and walking to the studio.

I am not whipped. I never was and I will never be. Psst, I'm so unwhipped you can get. I'm so far from whipped that even the most unwhipped person wouldn't see me... Okay, that doesn't make much sense.

Three hours later we walk up the stairs from the studio to get something to eat. My phone vibrates in my pocket so I pick it up.

**Spencetxt:** Hey rockstar. Can't get away in another 2 hours. Rain check on lunch?

Damn, that's too bad.

**Ashtxt:** Of course, just come here when you're done with work.

"What's with the sad face?" Nathan ask as he sits down on the couch.

"Spence had to work so no lunch." I say pouting and then my phone vibrates again.

**Spencetxt:** I will. Btw Jamie's not happy 'bout the car.

"Ah, poor you." He says and turns towards the kitchen.

"The whipped one wants pizza too so order for her." He says then turns back to me.

Ever since Spencer left they've been calling me that. Annoying as hell.

"Stop calling me whipped. Whipped is not a way to describe me."

"If you say so." He says as the others walks in.

"What do you guys think of working our asses of for another three hours and then quit for the day? I think we all need a break." I say rubbing my forehead.

"Yeah, I think that'd be awesome. We want to explore the city when we're hear anyway." Caleb says and sits down.

Three hours I hear the sound of the door bell. Good thing a installed a speaker to that shit down here, otherwise you'd never hear it.

"I'll take that guys, you just clean up the rest of this shit." I say as I walk to the stairs.

"Sure thing Whipped." Jared says with a laugh and I let out a groan. Guess I shouldn't have cared when they said it the first times. Now, they just do it 'cause it annoys the crap out of me.

I open the front door and find Spencer there.

"Hey gorgeous." I say with a smile.

"Hey." She says and holds out the carkeys. "Thanks for the loan, it was awesome!" She says with a bright smile.

"Glad you enjoyed it." I say and take the keys. "Wanna come in?"

"Yeah, only for a bit though. Glen will be here any second. Mom and dad are in town visiting so we're having family time." She says sarcastic and walking past me.

"Sound awesome." I say with a chuckle and we sit down on the couch.

"Yeah... Well, I haven't seen them in six months so..." She says sounding a bit sad and it hits me that I actually don't know that much about her except for Glen, her two friends, one of them not so nice, and that there's an ex.

"Why is that?" I ask trying to look her in the eyes but she doesn't meet mine.

She doesn't answer so I continue.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I say wanting her to open up but if she's not ready yet it can wait until she is.

"No, it's okay... Mom and I aren't really on so good terms these days."

"How come?" I ask carefully.

"Well, she doesn't exactly agree with my lifestyle."

"Aha, that one." I say nodding my head.

"Yeah... and my marriage falling apart didn't exactly help." She says with a whisper.

I can tell we've talked enough about this subject and that she don't want me to ask about the ex and even though I want to know it has to wait.

"I don't know what happened but if you want someone to talk to you know where to find me." I say taking her hand and giving her a smile. She lifts her gaze and meet my eyes now and give me a small smile back.

"Thanks." She whispers and then silence fills the room as we get caught staring in each others eyes. I wonder when she got this close to me. My eyes leaves hers but only for a fraction to watch her lips as her tongue moisten them. The action causes my mind to go blank and I instinctively do the same and then lean in to close the distance between us. I can feel her breath on my own lips and just as I'm about to take the last step and finally feel her lips against mine.

"Wow, that is so hot!" Jared says as he walks in the living room with the rest of the guys in tow. The moment couldn't be more destroyed.

I groan loud and rest my forehead against Spencer's and she gives me a small smile and blushes.

I reluctantly let her go and turn to the guys taking a pillow from the couch and throws it at Jared.

"No, it would've been hot if you hadn't walked in and said something like that, Jarhead!" I say frustrated.

"Jeez, someone need to get laid." Jared snickers picking up the pillow and throws it back at me. I don't know what I'm going to do with him if he doesn't leave very soon, but expect a massacre. I turn to the other guys.

"Get him out of here before your band have to find a new bass guitarist."

"Okay, Jared we're leaving before you get yourself killed." Caleb says and they all walk towards the door and out but Jared looks inside again at me.

"What Jared?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. See you tomorrow Whi..."

"I swear, if you finish that sentence there will be no tomorrow for you." I threaten trying to look as mad as I can and he disappears.

I turn to Spencer who looks at me with a head tilt and amused smile.

"What?" I say with a smile.

"Nothing." She says shaking her head at the same time someone knocks at the door.

"Grrh. If that is Jared he is dead to me." I say and walks over to open the door.

"It's probably Glen." Spencer says and walks up to me as I open the door.

"Hello Glen." I say with a smile.

"Hello Ashley. Was that Kings of Leon who just drove away?"

"It was indeed."

"Damn, I wanted to meet them." He says looking a little disappointed.

"Well, I'm going to work with them for awhile so you can come over sometime to meet them if you want?" I say giving him a smile.

"For reals?" He ask looking like a kid on Christmas eve.

"If you promise to never say for reals again?" I say with a chuckle.

"Consider it done." He says with a laugh. "We gotta go Spence. Mom and dad are waiting at my apartment." He says turning to Spencer.

"Okay. Go wait in the car. I'll be right out."

"Okay. Bye Ashley." He says giving me a smile and turns to leave.

"Bye Glen." I say turning my head to Spencer.

"So..." Spencer begins biting the side of her lower lip.

"So what?" I ask.

"So, call me tomorrow?" Like she even has to ask.

"I will." I say with a nose crinkling smile and leans for a hug.

"Good." She says and lets go of me and gives me a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

I watch them drive away before closing the door and lean on it. Well, at least I got a kiss. Even if it only was on the cheek.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N - Here's another one! :) Sorry for the delay of a couple of days.**

**Hope you like, and please keep me happy by reviewing! ;)**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter twelve

Wednesday. Woke up feeling pretty good about myself today. Yeah, the wallowing has come to an end. After Spencer left yesterday I drove to the movie set for a meeting only to find that the meeting wasn't happening 'cause Jamie had some sorts of family crisis, but Madison was there so I got my footage from her and went home to watch it and I love it. It is really good. She and the cast has done an amazing job so far but it's a long way to go until it's done. Anyways I haven't talked to Jamie since she left Spencer here which actually can't be counted as talking since she left before I even could think about something to say.

Well, anyway... I'm going to call her as soon as I get home 'cause right now I need my coffee. It's been a looong day in the studio with KoL so when the left me and my Ferrari took a ride to the nearest Starbucks and now I'm here waiting in line.

"Thanks." I say to the teenager behind the disk when she hands me my coffee and I turn around to leave. Hey, isn't that graveyard guy. It is Aiden and he's talking to some girl. As I walk towards them the girl sees me and quickly says something to Aiden and leaves. Weird. He turns his head to me and smiles.

"Hey graveyard." I say when I reach him.

"Hello Davies." He says with a chuckle.

"What are you doing in this neighbourhood? I thought you lived in the other side of town." I say with a smile.

"Eh... I was meeting up with a friend but it seems like they stood me up." He says smiling.

"Oh, so the girl you were with wasn't the friend?" I say smirking.

"Who? No, no. I don't even know her. Uh... I just uh.. kind of run in to her." He says wrinkling his forehead.

"Oh, okay... Is that how you usually get the girls, 'cause it doesn't seem to be working?" I ask with a smirk.

"Har har. No, that's not how I get the girls." He says giving me a sly smile. "Wanna sit down and talk? Or you have somewhere to be?" He asks motioning at the table nearest.

"Sure, but only for a little while. Have some things I gotta do before it gets to late." I say and sit down.

"Sweet. So what's up in the life of a Davies?" He asks with a grin as he sits down.

"Oh, nothing much. All work and no play these days." I say with a sigh.

"Yeah? Are you working with any famous?"

"Yes I am. Actually I got two projects on my plate right now. Working with a friend on her movie, writing the music and producing Kings of Leon's album." I say taking a sip of my coffee.

"Oh, that is so cool! How is it working with them? I always wondered how they were in private?" He says with a grin.

"They are annoying." I say thinking about yesterdays interruption and that they still call me Whipped and I don't think they are planning on letting that one go anytime soon.

"Really?" He says disbelievingly.

"Yeah... but they are good musicians and works really fast."

"Why are they annoying?" He asks with a smirk.

"Because they show up when they are least wanted and calls me Whipped." Man, why am I saying this to him. Now he's only gonna ask more questions. Damn, stepped right into this one.

"Oh, tell me more? Why whipped?" He asks with a laugh.

"Ugh... I'm not answering." I say taking a big sip from my coffee.

"Oh, come on! Is there a girl involved in this?" He asks with a grin.

"Yes, there is but I'm not talking about it. And I am not whipped and if you even think about calling me that I will whip you right over that pretty little head of yours."

"Oh, kinky." He says leaning over the table. "So, who's the girl?"

"I said I'm not talking about it." I say with a smile standing up. "I gotta get home now but it was fun talking to you. Or you know, not."

"Yeah, yeah." He says standing up to. "Wanna hang out this weekend or something?"

"I don't know. My sister is getting married on Saturday and I gotta work Friday. Maybe Sunday?" I say with a smirk. I like him and I think we could be good friends.

"Sure, whatever. Call me if you find time for me." He says with a smile.

"I will. See you!" I say and walk out the door.

On my way to the car I decide to drive to Kyla and see how the wedding plans is coming around. As the only bridesmaid I think I at least need to see that everything is going according to plans. Kyla and Eric decided to have a small wedding with only family and close friends and the only thing she wanted me to take care of was the music which wasn't much since she wanted me to play. The wedding ceremony is going to be on my private beach and the reception in my house afterwards. It's going to be really sweet I think as I park the car outside her house.

I don't bother knocking as usual and make my way inside. It's quiet in the house and I wonder how they dare to have to door unlocked since they obviously don't hear when people walk in. Gotta remember to tell her that when I find her. I check the living room and then the kitchen and then I hear voices from out back. Just as I'm about to announce my presence I hear that it's Kyla and Jamie talking. Déjà Vu or what? I quietly walk closer to try to make out what they are saying. My conscience tells me I shouldn't really be doing this again but then again if you want the truth, you gotta take it in the ways it comes like a wise man once said. No, I made that up. So I guess I'm the wise man.

"... pissed at me and I don't know were to go from here." Jamie says.

"She'll come around, patience Jamie. Just because you dropped Spencer of at her place doesn't solve everything." She got that right.

"No, I know. And I still don't like the idea of them together."

"Why is that Jamie?" Kyla says sounding a bit frustrated.

"Ashley has no idea of what Spencer's been through the last six months and it feels like I'm lying to her by not telling her but I promised Spencer to never talk about it."

"Well, I can't help you with that since I have no clue what happened and I understand that you don't wanna break Spencer's trust in you. I just think you should lay low and let those two handle it themselves. They are adults after all." Kyla says the last line with a chuckle. Why is that funny? I am an adult...

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I just... just don't want either of them getting hurt. They both come from difficult places and neither of them need more of that shit."

"I think they'll be fine. Maybe the fact that they has been through a lot makes them perfect for each other. I don't know..." Kyla says with a sigh.

I think it's time for me to enter.

"Hey Kyla! I really think you should be locking your front door." I say as I walk out. "Oh..." I continue looking at Jamie and tries to look surprised that she's here.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna head back to set." Jamie says standing and starts to leave and Kyla gives me a pleading look. Oh, what the heck? Time to let her of the hook a guess.

"Jamie wait a sec." I say and she turns around. "I'm sorry I've been such an ass." Okay, maybe I'm not so sorry but the wedding is coming up and I need to play nice for Kyla's sake.

"No, I'm the ass. I'm just glad you're talking to me again." She says giving me a smile.

"Yeah, well... silent treatment is going to be difficult since we have to work together and I kinda like talking to you once in a while." I say with a small smirk.

"Nice to hear you're back to the old you." She says smiling and shakes her head a little. "But I really have to get back to the set now, working late today and Madison and Rick can't manage too long without me. So, thanks for forgiving me Ash and bye Ky." She says turning around and leaving.

"You're not of the hook so easy, bitch!" I yell playfully after her and then turns to Kyla.

"Thanks for that." She says giving me appreciative smile.

"Sure. I can only handle for so long without her anyway." I say chuckling.

"Yeah... So, what brings you here today?" She asks as she walks in the kitchen.

"Just checking up on you and that everything is going as you please. And if you wanted me to do anything? I have work all week but tonight I'm free." I say giving her a bright smile.

"You do realize that the clock is..." She turns her head to the watch at the wall "...8:15?" She asks with a laugh.

"Already?" I ask and check my own watch to see that she is right.

"Yeah... But you can tell me that you chosen which song you gonna play?" She ask and gives me a bright smile.

"I can tell you that I've written a song for you but I'm not going to show you. It's a surprise." I say with a nose crinkling smile.

"You wrote a song for us?" She asks sounding ecstatic and throws her arms around me.

"Yeah, of course Sis. I wanted it to be my own words." I say chuckling once she lets go of me.

"How did you find the time to do it with everything going on already?" She asks still smiling like I just cured AIDS or something.

"Actually I wrote it just after you guys announced the wedding date."

"Really? That long ago?"

"Yeah well I wrote the lyrics then but I wrote the rest last week and I'm pretty sure it's perfect."

"What? I wanna hear it now. Please, please, please..." Kyla whines.

"Not gonna happen. You'll hear the first time at the wedding reception, just like everybody else."

"So, no one heard it? Not even Jamie?"

"No, not even her." I say.

"Wow, you are so my favourite sister right now." Kyla says and gives me another hug.

"Yeah, the only one too. I hope. I really don't need anymore hidden siblings showing up now. Scratch that, not ever." I say with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I hear ya." Kyla chuckles and opens the fridge "I think you should take Spencer to the wedding." She says as she takes out two beers and gives one to me.

"What? But..."

"Yeah, yeah I know. Small reception and you already said you weren't taking a date but I think we can squeeze one more in." She says taking a sip from the beer.

"Really? 'Cause I know you guys already have everything ordered and ready."

"I can call the caterer and fix the food problem. And I think you have an extra chair somewhere in that house, right?"

"Yeah, well... I'm not even sure she can."

"Well duh... call her and find out idiot." She says and gives me an amused look. "Do I have to spell everything out for you? Maybe you want me to dial the number too?" She says chuckling at me.

"No! I think I'll manage." I say pouting a little and she just continues to look at me amused. "What? Do you want me to call her now?" I ask incredulously.

"God, you're slow. No wonder why they call me the brains in the family."

"I always thought they called you that because they pitied you and didn't want you to feel bad 'cause I got both the body and the brains and since, obviously,..." I say motioning to my body and then hers "...they couldn't say you had the body so they let you have the brains." I say finishing my rant with a real nose crinkling smile.

"God, you're so funny." She says shaking her head.

"Wasn't trying to be funny, just honest." I say still smiling and this earns me a slap on the shoulder.

"And you're certainly not the muscles..." I say laughing.

"You are so conceited that I wonder why I put up with you."

"Because of the things I just mentioned. I'm the body, the brains and the muscles. You need me." I say seriously.

"Whatever... you're stalling. Call her." She says and takes a swig from the beer.

"Yeah, yeah okay." I say taking up my phone and call her. She answers at the second ring.

_"Hey Rockstar. I was hoping you'd call." _I can hear her smile on the other end which makes me smile too.

"Hello gorgeous. What you doing?"

_"Just left off Glen and the parentals at his place. You?"_

"I'm at Kyla's. So I was thinking..."

_"Oh, you were thinking, best I'm quiet then."_

"You're so funny that I'm almost hanging up on you."

"Stepped right into that one." Kyla says loud enough for Spencer to hear which causes her to laugh.

"Could you please be annoying somewhere else Kyla?" I ask giving her a angry look.

"This is my house so no." She says and seats herself at the kitchen counter.

_"So what were you thinking Ash?"_

"I was thinking about this Saturday..." Why am I so nervous suddenly?

_"Okay... what about it?"_

"Well...uh..." What's wrong with me? Why can't I just ask her?

_"Ash? What is it?" _She says snickering.

"Ugh, I can't watch your self-destruction." Kyla says and snatches the phone from me.

"Hey Spence, it's Kyla." What is she doing?

"Kyla?" I say nervous.

"Shut it Ash. I'm talking. So, Spencer what are you doing Saturday?" She says and walks in to the livingroom. "Aha, perfect. What Ashley was trying to say with her incoherent mumbling was if you were free and if you wanted to go to my wedding with her? So, you up for it?" Kyla says with a smile as she sits down on the couch and I give her a angry look. God, this is killing me. This is sooo not okay...

"Awesome. Ashley will be very happy to hear that." Kyla says smiling at me but I'm still giving her the evil eye. "Though it looks like she's about to kill me now." Kyla continues and laughs. "Yeah, I think the badass rockstar has left her body. She's been acting a little weird lately, I wonder why?" Kyla says laughing. Okay, this is definitely not okay.

"Kyla! I'll show you badass if you don't give my phone back like right now." I threaten and hopes it work.

"Well, it was fun talking to you Spencer but I think I've served my purpose here. I'll see you Saturday, if I'm still alive by then." She says standing up and walks over to me. "Yeah, I'm giving you back to Ashley now. Byebye." She says gives me the phone and retreats to the kitchen.

"Yeah, you better run!" I yell after her before putting the phone to my ear.

"Sorry about that Spence." I say with a sigh.

_"It's okay." She says with a chuckle._

"So, wedding Saturday?" I say a little insecure.

_"Yeah."_ She says with a laugh. _"Was suppose to hang out with Sara but this offer sounds so much better and I'm still not happy with her after the whole incident at Ego."_

"You mean the incident where I was being called a spoiled bitch and a whore?" I say with a scoff. If I get my hands on that little piece of shit I don't know what would happen.

_"Ash, you're not a bitch or a whore."_ She says calmly.

"But I'm spoiled?" I say with a smirk as I lay down on the couch.

_"No, well... maybe a little."_ She says with a laugh.

"Mean Spencer has returned and I don't like her." I say and pout even though she can't see it.

_"Stop pouting and no, you're not spoiled." _She can seriously not have heard me pout.

"I didn't pout but I am changing subject."

_"Okay, to what?"_

"To this Saturday. The wedding starts at four but since it's at my house and I'm needed for help you have two options?"

_"Which are?"_

"Well, I can send a car for you so you'll get there till four or I can pick you up around two and you'll have to hang out at my place for two hours?" I say really hoping she'll pick the last one.

_"Well, I'd rather you pick me up and be with you those two hours."_ She says and I can hear her smile.

"Really?" I ask with a stupid grin on my face and sits up.

_"Really. But I have to go now, Jamie is calling for me."_

"Oh right, sorry. Forgot you were working late today." I say with a laugh. Maybe I am slow like Kyla said 'cause Jamie just left here saying she'd work late tonight.

_"Yeah, talk to you tomorrow?"_

"Absolutely, gorgeous." I say and we say our goodbyes and hang up. I just sit there smiling for myself.

"You're so sprung..." Kyla says with a smile leaning at the doorframe.

"Yeah..." I say and lay back on the couch again with a sigh.

"And you're not even denying it." She says and sits down in the armchair.

"There's no denying the inevitable." I say with sighing again and she laughs.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N - New chapter! :) Sorry that it took me a while to upload it but life's been pretty hectic.**

**Maybe I'll post another chapter very soon if you guys keep me motivated ;)**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter thirteen

Finally Saturday. Been waiting around for it all week and it felt like it took forever for it to come even though I've been busy over my head with work. It has to say the least been rough week.

One third of KoL:s album is done and even if they do a good job we're all slacking a bit and having a little to much fun sometimes which led to that we had to work 16hours yesterday. Well, I had to work 16hours, they worked 14 of them. Anyway I was tired when I went to bed yesterday and I was still tired when Kyla woke me up this morning at 7am calling like a maniac and freaking out about the wedding. Took me almost an half an hour to calm her down, telling her that everything is perfect. Crazy girl...

Now the clock is almost one and Kyla just started to get ready in the bathroom with the help of her two cousins, Jenny and Kelly, and I'm waiting for the time to go by so I can pick up Spencer. I can't wait to see her. I'm betting she'll look beautiful.

"Ashley! Get in here!" Oh, no! Another freak out? Would be the fifth or sixth, can't remember anymore.

"Yes dear?" I say as I peek in the bathroom.

"Do you have the rings?" She says with a hysteric voice.

"My God Kyla. Of course I have them. I had them when you called this morning and I had them two hours ago when you asked me the same question. It's not like they are going to run away." Mental note; don't go mental on your own wedding Ashley... Ha! That's two words that's never been said in the same sentence before. Me and wedding, he...he...he... Funny...

"Can you show them to me?" She ask a little calmer now.

"Well, I don't have them on me. They're in my room."

"Go and get them then!" She says raising her voice. My lord...

I get the rings, show them to her and put them back in the same place and walk back to the bathroom after.

"Happy now baby Sis?" I say sarcastic.

"No, I will be happy once the ceremony is done and I can relax."

"You can relax now too. Everything is perfect." Well, that's a sentence I've said a 100 times the last hours and I'm thinking I'll have to use it a couple more.

"But..."

"No buts, okay? It is perfect, you'll look perfect, the ceremony will be perfect, the dinner will be perfect, the speeches will be perfect, which is pretty much like saying everything will be perfect so stop with the second guessing 'cause I'll beat you over the head with my heels if you do not shut the fuck up now. Understood?" Yeah, well it was bound to happen sooner or later that I got a bit mad at her. She needs to calm down. I feel for the cousins that has to be here without me when I leave to pick Spencer up. She's going to eat them alive. Poor kids.

"Thanks Sis." She says with a sigh.

"You're very welcome. Be nice now and I'm going for a smoke." I say and leave her with her victims.

An half an hour later I say goodbye to girls and pray that everyone will be alive when I get back. I get in my Ferrari and drives over to Spencer's apartment.

I walk in to the apartment building and the butterflies in my stomach make me go nuts as I knock on her door.

"It's open!" I hear from the inside so I open the door and walks in the room.

"Hey." I say to an empty space but knows she heard me because I can see her shadow from the bathroom light.

"Be right out. Make yourself comfortable." She says and I sit down on the couch taking one of the magazines on the table and skim through it without even knowing what it really is that I'm reading. My head is spinning to much to concentrate.

"You enjoying my ex:s Medical magazines." I turn my head in the direction of the voice but lose my own ability to speak in the process. God, she's so beautiful. I mean seriously drop dead gorgeous. Can't help but wonder how someone gets to be this beautiful. I stand up.

"Wow...I mean...uh...yeah just wow." Absolutely perfect Davies, real descriptive. No, I mean for real, good job on forming sentence that are understandable. Dork.

She smiles and walks over to me.

"I'm taking a speechless Ashley Davies as a good thing." She says and takes my hands.

"Yeah...I...uh..." Still? Seriously Davies come on "...You look like perfection." Well, at least it was a sentence. A cheesy one, but still. Pat on the back for me.

She chuckles at me.

"Thank you and you look pretty good yourself." She says and gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Shall we?" She says and tugs my hand.

"Yes, that would be for the best before we come back to my place and find two dead girls."

"Huh? What?" She says confused.

"Yeah, Kyla has been pretty much hysteric all day and I left her there with her cousins and I fear for their health." I say with a chuckle as we walk out the building.

"I think they'll be fine." Spencer says as we reach the car and I open the door for her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whipped I know. I might as well live up to my new nickname.

"Well, you haven't seen her. You just wait." I say with a smirk as I close the door and walk around to the other side.

The drive to my house is spent by talking about work and the past week and as we leave the car and walk up to the front door we find the two girls sitting on the bench just outside it smoking. Oh no, she broke them. And where the hell did they get cigarettes from?

"What the fuck are you doing?" I ask them as I snatch the cigarette from Jenny. "And where is Kyla?"

"Probably inside freaking out about another thing." Jenny says and tries to get the cigarette back but I don't let her and I take a deep drag from it myself before putting it out.

"You shouldn't leave her alone with her twisted mind right now and you should definitely not be smoking. You're like 15 or something." I know how old they are, just trying to make a point.

"16 and 17 actually and you smoked when you were our age!" Kelly says pointing at me and this makes Spencer snicker. I give her a angry face and she holds up her hands in defence.

"Well, I'm a stupid person. Where did you even get the cigarettes?" I ask calmly.

"Uh, from your bed." Kelly answers with a smile.

"What? What did I say about going into my room when you got here this morning?" I ask and give them an disapproving look. "Come on, answer me." I say snapping my fingers.

"I don't remember 'cause I wasn't listening." Kelly lazily says. Man, this girl is like a reflexion of me when I was her age.

"Well, that is too bad 'cause if you had been listening you'd remember that I strictly told you to stay away or there would be consequences. Have you any idea of what that consequences might be?" I ask with a smirk and both Kelly and Jenny's head shoots up and they give me a terrified look.

"Ashley, you wouldn't? You promised?" Jenny says with a pleading voice.

"Please forgive us Ashley?! We'll go in and check on Kyla immediately and we promise to never ever enter your room again." Kelly whines.

"It's little too late for that don't you think?" I say still smirking and throws a glance at Spencer who looks curious to what I might have promised the girls and now taken away. "Come on, Spence. I need to see if Kyla is still alive." I say and walks the small steps to the door.

"Please Ashley. You promised we could borrow your Porsche. Please, please don't take it away?" Kelly pleads and I just give her a smile.

"Well..." I say slowly. I wasn't really gonna take the fun away from them but I gotta make them squirm a little and they'll have to work to get it back.

"Please Ashley. We promise to do everything you say from now on." Jenny says pouting.

"Everything?" I ask. This could be fun. My personal slaves for the day.

"Everything!" The say in unison.

"Okay. You can start by taking down the chairs to the beach and arrange them as I told you before. That is if you remember?"

"We remember." Kelly says and they take off.

"Wow, that was fun." I say with a smile once they are gone.

"You are so mean." Spencer says and hits me on the arm.

"Hey! They deserve it. They disobeyed me and stole from me." I say rubbing the spot she just hit as I walk in the house. "And no one disobeys Ashley Davies and if they do they will be punished for their actions." I continue with a smirk.

"Yeah, gotta remember that one." Spencer says with a wink before she walks in the direction of the kitchen.

"Yeah, you better!" Wait, what? What is she going to remember? To never disobey me or that she'll be punished if she do? Ugh, I'm confused. And confused does not look good on me.

With a sigh a walk in the direction of the bathroom and finds Kyla in there.

"God Kyla! You look absolutely amazing!" I say proudly.

"Yeah?" She asks as she looks in the mirror.

"Yeah Sis. One hot soon too be Mrs. Kyla Collins." I say with a big smile.

"Wow Kyla, you look really beautiful." Spencer says just joining us.

"Thanks Carlin but sadly I don't play on your team. But if I did you could totally have me." She says with a laugh.

"Funny Kyla." I say and give her a fake smile. "Good to see that bitch-Kyla is on a break and the not-so-funny-Kyla has returned."

"Thanks. I guess..." She says looking in the mirror once again.

"By the way, you totally scared your cousins away."

"Yeah? Well, that was with the intention of doing so. They were annoying." She says and walks past us.

"Hard to believe that she wasn't the annoying one." I whisper to Spencer who chuckles.

"I heard that!" Kyla says from the kitchen.

"How could she have heard that?" I ask Spencer that answer with a shrug. "Fucking superwoman with incredible hearing." I mutter when we walk out to join her in the kitchen.

I take a water bottle from the fridge, opens it and downs half of it. It's really hot today and this is going to be an long and sweaty day. I hold out the bottle to Spencer how gladly takes it put drinks from it a little slower then me.

"Where have the rats gone?" Kyla asks.

"They are getting things ready down at the beach."

"You left the incompetent Dumb and Dumber in charge of that?" Kyla says giving me an angry look.

"Calm down Ky. They'll get it right. I gave a good description of how it's suppose to be and they know if they get it wrong there will be consequences."

Kyla gives me an curious look.

"Ashley Davies, did you threaten my cousins?" She asks with a laugh.

"I wouldn't say threaten, but certain privileges will be taken away if needed." I say giving her a smirk. "Lets just say that they'll do everything I tell them to do."

"Wow, I'm impressed. No one really never get them to do anything. They don't usually give a shit." She says before eyeing me suspiciously. "What did you do?"

"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about." I say smiling at her.

"Is it about the Porsche? 'Cause I heard they talking about it before. You know they'll probably crash it right?" She says with a small laugh.

"Well, then they'll have to pay for it." I say laughing.

"Yeah, but what if they get hurt?" Kyla asks more serious.

"Well, then I hope they have insurance." I say smiling at her.

"That is not funny Ash." Kyla says trying to contain a smile.

"Chill Ky. They wont crash it. I promised them at the barbeque that they'll get to borrow it but what they don't know is that I left it at the car shop and for the moment my Porsche doesn't do anymore the 50mph." I say with a laugh and the other two join me when they realize what I said.

"Are you serious?" Kyla asks when her laughter subsides.

"Yes, of course. Did you really think I'd let them drive around the city with a car that I know for a fact does more than 130?"

"Yeah, well that sound pretty smart. Wait? How do you know it does more than 130?" She asks.

"Well Kyla lets just say I've tried it out once or twice."

"Ashley, I'm not a big fan of you driving around at that speed."

"You should see what the Ferrari can do if you think that is fast." I say with a smirk.

"Ashley..." Kyla says in a warning tone.

"Yes mom?"

"I agree with Kyla, you should be careful Ash." Spencer says taking my hand and gives me a small smile.

"Okay, gorgeous. I'll be more careful." I say and give her a smile.

"Oh, just great! When I tell you to be careful you don't give a shit but when she does you listen immediately. I'm beginning to understand you new nickname." Kyla says with a laugh and Spencer looks at me with a curious smile and looks in my eyes.

"What's you new nickname Ash?"

"Uh...I...I have no new nickname that I know of." I say blushing a little and break our gaze as Kyla snickers. Spencer turns to Kyla.

"What's her new nickname Kyla?" She asks and Kyla gives her a bright smile.

"You see Spencer, since..."

"Ashley! What do you want us to do next?" Kelly asks and burst in the kitchen with Jenny in tow. Thank you God! Once again saved by your timing.

"I want you to light up all the candles on the beach and porch. And then check so that everything else seems to be in order. Once that is done, come back and report to me." I order and they disappear.

"Okay, where was I?" Kyla says and thinks for a second.

"Kyla! One word more about this and I wont sing at the reception." I say with a serious tone.

"You wouldn't." She says laughing and then looks at me seeing my serious face. "You would?" She asks.

"I most definitely would. So shut the fuck up."

"Damn. Sorry Spencer, guess you'll have to find it out elsewhere. A girl can't even have fun on her wedding day." Kyla says with a sigh.

"Oh, you can have plenty of fun but not at my expense and some lies KoL are spreading."

"Oh, Ashley baby, it is most definitely not lies and you know it. You can deny it but that doesn't make it lies." She says and places a kiss on my forehead before leaving the room.

The time goes by and the ceremony starts and ends pretty fast and soon we're seated on the porch eating. I got Spencer on my left and Kyla's mom on my right.

Eric's brother and best man just finished his speech and I know as soon as we're done eating it's time for me to perform which is making me crazy nervous. I haven't really performed in front of a crowd where I know everybody. It's intense and intimate and really, it scares me. And what actually scares me the most is to sing in front of the person to my left, the person I'm in love with. It scares the shit out of me. I take a deep breath and tries to push my thought aside. Then a feel a hand on my thigh and her breath on my ear.

"What's wrong? You look uncomfortable?" She asks and I can hear the concern in her voice and it makes me smile. Just that she cares makes me calm down a little.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I say and gives her a reassuring smile. By the look she's giving me she doesn't fully believe me. She gives my thigh a squeeze and turns her attention to her food and the guy on the other side of her. Her hand doesn't leave my thigh, which makes me smile.

I finish the remains of the dessert on my plate and soon the waitresses we hired for the night starts to clear the table. I take this as my cue to get myself ready. I take Spencer's hand from my thigh which gets her attention from the discussion she was having with the guy.

"I'm gonna go inside and get my guitar and take a moment before I sing. Okay?" I say as I interlace our fingers.

"Want me to come with you?" She asks with a smile.

"No, it's okay. You just sit here and enjoy yourself." I say and gently kisses the back of her hand before standing up and walk inside. I head to my room and take down my guitar from where it's hanging on the wall. Do a quick check so it's tuned before taking a couple of deep breaths. Get yourself together Daves. I've done this in front of thousands of people, why is it feeling so hard today. Damn sappy love songs... I take another deep breath before heading out to the porch again, taking the stool that's standing in the corner and places it in front of everyone and sits down with the guitar in my lap.

"Attention please." I say with a slightly raised voice and soon as all eyes are on me.

"So... Since I was asked to perform a song instead of holding a speech I am now seated her with my guitar to do just that. And I must say that I'm really nervous." I say with a chuckle.

"Yeah, right Rockstar!" Eric says which causes everyone to laugh.

"Yeah... I'm not kidding Eric." I say with a snicker. "Well, I'm really not a speaker which is probably why I sing, but I'm actually going to take this moment to say a couple of words. Kyla..." I say and turn my attention to her "...you have no idea how much you mean to me. You were there for me when I went through the hardest times in my life and I will be forever grateful for that and I hope, really hope, that I someday can be the same rock for you that you've been for me. I love you with all my heart and I know that dad would've been so proud of you. And you Eric...I really haven't much to say to you except for that you will never find a better and more loving human being than Kyla and if you hurt her, yeah I will probably have to kill you." I say with a chuckle and the others laugh along with me. "So, with that said I'm going to sing you this song that I wrote for you and I hope that every time you listen to it you'll remember today and the love you have for each other. It's called Today." I say finishing my little speech and starts to play the song and give Kyla and Eric my biggest smile before singing the words directly at them

_Shoelaces untied  
You can dry your eyes  
Perfect shadows lie  
Behind us  
This is the day I make you mine_

The last line I turn my gaze quickly at Spencer and meet her eyes for the briefest moment before turning my attention back to the newly wedded.

The way your hair lies  
Sometimes unrecognized  
All the way from these today  
On a train  
Nothing to say but there's still time

But you are the one  
I've been waiting for today  
And here comes the sun  
It's been baiting more today

Lately I've lost my tongue  
Today you found my song  
I know our love has grown  
Well I thank God you came along

But you are the one  
I've been waiting for today  
And here comes the sun  
It's been baiting on today

I throw a glance at Spencer who's smiling brightly which I happily return before letting my eyes roam around at everyone else around the table and last looking at Kyla's mom whose tears are running freely down her cheeks. I can feel a lump in my throat forming so I close my eyes for the last parts.

_You looked right through me  
When there was no one else  
I sat beside you and became myself  
Today... today_

You are the one  
I've been waiting for today  
And here comes the sun  
It's been baiting more today

I open my eyes at the last two lines and meet Kyla's watery eyes and as soon as I see her tears I can't stop a few of my own from escaping. As soon as I finish the song I hear applause and a second later Kyla's arms are around me making me drop the guitar which causes a few laughs. With a smile on my lips a return the hug and then I hold her with an arm's length looking in her eyes.

"Don't go all sappy on me now, you'll make me cry too." I say as I brush her tears away with my thumbs and the others let out a laugh at our little display.

"Sorry Sis." She says with a chuckle and gives me another hug and whispers in my ear "That was so beautiful. Thank you so much and I love you too."

"I know." I say and give her a kiss on the forehead before letting her go and then Eric gives me a hug and also thanks me. I think I saw tears in his eyes too.

After my song I excuse myself and go inside to gather myself I little. I decide to head down to the studio 'cause I always find peace down there.

I sit behind the piano and my mind immediately finds a instrumental song by Brian Crain named Break In The Clouds. Beautiful song.

As I'm playing I hear someone entering the room but I don't stop. I know that it's Spencer, any other person probably would have said something. I can feel her presence behind me before she even touches me. Her hands finds my shoulders and she gives me them small squeeze. I close my eyes half way through the song and feel her place a light kiss below my ear, her lips barely touching me but it makes my whole body shiver. I finish the song and slowly turn around and meet her gaze. Her eyes shows so many emotions as she sits down in my lap, never breaking our gaze. My arm go around her waist to hold her in place and she slowly leans in, her eyes flicker from my eyes to my lips and back and then I feel her breath on my lips and I lean in to close the remaining distance. As soon as our lips touch for the first time my world almost go black from the intensity of my emotions. Our lips moves slowly against each other, almost as we both trying to memorize and savour the feeling. I lick her lower lip to gain access to her mouth.

"Ashley! Can we borrow the car now?" Kelly yells and tumbles down the stairs and into the studio. The kiss comes to an abrupt stop and Spencer snickers and shakes her head as I groan in frustration.

"Can a girl never catch a break?" I growl turning my head in Kelly's direction and Spencer gets up from my lap making me miss the closeness immensely.

"Oh sorry, did I interrupt something?" Kelly asks giving me a sweet smile knowing exactly what she interrupted.

"Watch yourself!" I threaten as I get up from me seat.

"Sorry. I'm leaving. Please finish whatever you started fast so me and Jenny can get the hell out of her." Kelly says and retreats out the door and up the stairs.

I turn my head toward Spencer and gives her a apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry for Kyla's idiotic cousin."

"It's okay, not exactly your fault." She says with a chuckle and pulls me close to her "Maybe we should try this when we actually are alone in this house." She says before giving me a quick kiss on my lips and then take my hand tugging me towards the door.

"Definitely." I say with a nose crinkling smile. Gotta fix alone time soon, really soon.

I sent Kelly and Jenny away in my Porsche but not before giving them a lot of threats about how I'd kill them if they crash it and that they under no circumstances were allowed to let anyone in the car. Kelly retorted with that I wouldn't know if they let someone in the car and I responded with that I had hidden cameras in it. Then she said I was a crazy bitch and I agreed but said that I was the crazy bitch owning the car and that I had eyes all over the city so they'd better follow the speed limits. She didn't believe me about having eyes all over the city and said she couldn't promise to not brake the law and that she wanted to try out what the car was made off. I gave her a smirk and said yeah, you do that. Then she glared angry at me and drove off. I laugh to myself all the way back to the porch and couldn't help but think that Kelly is so much like myself and I don't get how people but up with me when I was her age.

Anyway, now I'm seated at the table on the porch again and the time is almost twelve.

"Hey Ash." Jamie says in sits down beside me "What you thinking?"

"Nothing much." I say giving her a small smile.

"I liked the song, it was really good." She says giving me a genuine smile.

"Yeah? Thanks."

"Not exactly the dirty rock n' roll badass songs that I'm used to hear from you." She says with a chuckle.

"Yeah, well I tend to keep these kinds of songs to myself. Don't wanna ruin my reputation you know?" I say laughing. Yeah, songs like this one wasn't really what I build my music career on, no the songs on my albums were more... how should I put it? Lets just say that if I had kids under the age of 15 they wouldn't be allowed to listen to my music. Hell no!

"So tonight was the coming out story of the sappy, lovey dovey version of Ashley Davies?"

"You could say that or you could say that tonight was a minor setback for the badass Ashley Davies and that it had to be done for the sake of not ruining the wedding."

"Yeah... I'm gonna go with my suggestion. I think that it's more appropriate and goes better with your new nickname, don't you think Whipped?" She says before bursting out in laughs.

"Oh, lord. How is it that everybody know about that? 'Cause I don't remember telling anyone." I say with a sigh.

"Well..." Jamie says when her laughter subsided "...someone in KoL told Eric when he was here the other day and then he told Kyla who told me."

"Ugh, I'm gonna kill him." I say burying my face in my arm that are on the table.

"Who are you going to kill?" Ah, that voice. Always makes me feel better.

"Eric, but I'm debating on whether or not it would be better to commit suicide." I mumble in my arm which makes Jamie chuckle and Spencer lay a hand on my back stroking small circles.

"Why would you wanna do that?" She asks with a chuckle.

"I don't wanna do it... It's not really an option if I want the harassment to stop."

"Who's harassing you?" Spencer asks with a laugh.

"My so called friends." I say and lifts my head and give Jamie an angry look.

"Why?" Spencer curiously asks.

"Because Ashley is going through some changes and we're not really used to see it. I didn't even think it was possible." Jamie says and even though she should've kept quiet I'm glad that she didn't reveal the nickname. And what didn't she think was possible? Me being whipped? Well, I am not whipped. Not that whipped anyway.

"What didn't you think was possible?" Spencer asks with a head tilt. Jamie opens her mouth to answer but then decides against it. I wonder why, she almost never turns down a chance to mess with me.

"I'm gonna leave you two alone." She says with a smile before standing up and leaving.

"What's with the Jamie weirdness?" Spencer asks before she turn and look at me.

"Good question, can't answer it though." I say with a smile and meet her eyes. The candles that are still burning on the porch gives a dim light to the otherwise dark night.

She gets up from her chair and sits down in my lap instead. She stare in to my eyes and it feels like she sees right through me. All my insecurities and worries leaves my mind when she looks at me this way. It feels like I'm safe. I'm home. I'm where I belong.

"You know someone's probably gonna come out here any second. That's what happens whenever we're alone." I say and she chuckles a little.

"I loved the song you wrote for Kyla and Eric, it was beautiful." She says with a smile and runs her fingers through my hair and leans down to kiss me. "I especially loved the line "this is the day I make you mine"." She whispers against my lips before capturing them in a earth-shattering kiss.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N - Next chapter, took a little longer to get out then I expected to but here it is.  
**

**Hope you like it, and if you have a second over please review ;)**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter fourteen

_Previously:_

_She gets up from her chair and sits down in my lap instead. She stare in to my eyes and it feels like she sees right through me. All my insecurities and worries leaves my mind when she looks at me this way. It feels like I'm safe. I'm home. I'm where I belong._

_"You know someone's probably gonna come out here any second. That's what happens whenever we're alone." I say and she chuckles a little. _

_"I loved the song you wrote for Kyla and Eric, it was beautiful." She says with a smile and runs her fingers through my hair and leans down to kiss me. "I especially loved the line "this is the day I make you mine"." She whispers against my lips before capturing them in a earth-shattering kiss. _

As we break apart for air it feels like my heart is about to explode from pounding so hard in my chest and I'm positive Spencer can hear it. I keep my eyes closed and lean my forehead against hers, trying to slow down my breathing and the throbbing between my legs. Can't understand how easily this girl gets me worked up.

"Wow..." I say when I finally find my voice and opens my eyes to find her gazing at me, her eyes now in a slightly darker shade of blue which sends shivers down my spine. God, I want her so much... I close my eyes again, I can't stand the intensity of her gaze. Several minutes pass before neither of us make a move. She runs her fingers through my hair which makes me open my eyes again. She smiles brightly at me, looking deeply in my eyes making me feel like she can look right through me. The walls I've built around myself is so easily shattered into pieces just by her looking at me. It scares me so much.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" She says, more like a statement than a question though. This makes me blush, I don't think anyone ever said I was beautiful. Hot or sexy, sure but never beautiful.

Someone clears their throat making me break our gaze to find out who the intruder is and what they want. I turn my head to the voice and find Jamie standing there looking at us with a small smile.

"Didn't mean to ruin whatever moment you had going on but there is someone at the door asking for you Ash." She says sincerely.

"Who is it?" I ask confused. Almost everyone I know is here already and the other ones know that I'm on a wedding tonight.

"I don't know actually. Some guy, never seen him before." She says raising her eyebrows and Spencer gets up from my lap and pulls me up to standing position.

"You better go see what he wants." Spencer says with a small smile and I nod in answer taking her by the hand dragging her along to the front door. When I reach it I see Aiden standing just inside the door looking a little nervous.

"Hey graveyard. What are you doing here?" I ask a little confused. How did he know where I live? And didn't I tell him that my sister was getting married tonight?

"Hey Ashley. I just wanted to see if you wanted to do something tonight. I thought about calling you but then I remembered that I didn't have your number so I decided to just come here but when I came here I remembered that you were busy tonight so I'm sorry I disturbed." He says in a rush looking kind of lost and throws a glance at Spencer before he finds the floor very interesting. I don't really know what to say. I open and close my mouth a couple of times not really finding the right words for the situation. I throw a glance around me and see that everyone has left the room.

"Uh...It's alright." I say trying to gather myself before continuing "has something happened?" I ask. I wonder why he's acting so weird. I look over at Spencer beside me and she looks at him looking really confused too. Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one...

"No. No, nothing has happened. I was just bored." He answers.

"Well, that's good..." Maybe I should introduce Spencer to make some sort of conversation. "Anyway, this is Spencer. Spencer, this is Aiden." I say with a smile trying to ease the tension.

"Hi." She says with a small smile taking his hand and he gives her a smile in return.

"Nice to meet you." He says when he releases her hand. "Well, I better go. Don't wanna intrude, you know." He says with a chuckle and he's out the door before I even have the chance to think of an answer. I just stand there looking at the closed door for a while.

"Wow. Lovely fellow." Spencer says with a chuckle and breaks my trance. I turn my eyes towards her with raised eyebrow still trying to understand what just happened.

"Yeah..." I say as I walk over to the couch and sits down with a sigh. She follows me and sits beside me. After a moment of silence she mumbles something making me turn to her.

"What?" I say confused.

"Uh...nothing. Just..." She says frowning looking at her hands. I wait for her continue but she doesn't.

"Just what?" I ask and she looks up from her hands to meet my eyes.

"Well... You know that feeling like you met someone before but you can't remember when or where?" She says still frowning.

"Yeah...?"

"That's how I feel now. I think I've met him before or at least seen him before. He looked so familiar..."

"Are you sure?"

"No, not entirely but there's something about him that leaves me feeling weird." She says with a sigh before continuing "Where did you meet him?"

"Uh, at my fathers cemetery last week when we had our...uh..." I start not really sure how to describe what happened between us that afternoon. "...anyway...I went to his grave later that night and Aiden scared the shit out of me when I sat there in my own little world. That's why I call him graveyard." I say with a little chuckle and she just nods in answer.

I watch her take in the things I just said and then she shakes her head.

"Maybe he just looks like someone I know." She says with a shrug and gets up from the couch walking over to the kitchen.

"Yeah, maybe..." I say and follow her. She takes two beers from the fridge handing one to me before downing half of her own.

"Take it easy. No one's gonna steal it from you." I say with a chuckle.

"You never know." She answers with a smile and pull the beer bottle to her chest giving it a hug.

"Okaaaay, weirdo..." I say with a laugh as Jamie enters the kitchen, frowning and shaking her head at Spencer who is still hugging her beer.

"I'm not even gonna ask." Jamie says before turning her head to me. "Who was the guy at the door?"

"That was Aiden. The graveyard guy I told you about yesterday."

"The one that snuck up on you in the middle of the night?" She asks and I nod in answer.

Silence fills the room as I watch Jamie frowning and she looks deep in thought.

"Did you tell him where you live?" She asks after a while still frowning. Right, almost forgot about the fact that I never told him where my house was. Or did I? Nooo, I can't recall that I did... I'm back to being confused. It seems to be my trademark these days.

"No, I didn't."

"What? But how does he know? I mean, it's not like you can Google it or something like that." Spencer says sceptically.

"Exactly Ash. I don't trust this guy. He's weird and you met him at a graveyard and just gave him your number." Jamie says.

"You gave him your number after he snuck up on you on a graveyard?" Spencer asks me frowning.

"Yeah...no...Well, he did sneak up on me and I gave him my number but he is a security guard at the graveyard and he's actually pretty nice." I answer carefully.

"He showed up at your door and he's not suppose to know where your door is. If you ask me, that is pretty weird." Jamie says.

"Well, I didn't ask you and not every person I meet is a stalker as you think Jamie. Some people actually don't want anything from me, only to be my friend." I say a little harsher then I intended.

"Sorry. I'm just looking out for you." Jamie says looking a little hurt.

"I can look out for myself, you're not my mother!"

"Jeez, cruel much." Jamie says and both of them gives me a look of confusion.

"Sorry. It's just...nothing." I say with a sigh. "I'm just frustrated with everything going on." I continue rubbing my temples.

"I don't wanna fight with you Jamie, I'm sorry. We just got over one disagreement and we usually never fight so I don't think we should start now. I really don't think he's a stalker so please trust my judgement?" I say giving her a pleading look.

"Okay, I trust you. But I still think it's strange that he knows where you live since it's not the easiest thing to find out." Jamie calmly reasons.

"I agree and I'm gonna ask him about it. There probably is a logical explanation to it." There has to be right? I'm not really in the mood for creepy people.

"I hope you're right and if you're not...I swear I'll kill him." She says with a chuckle but I know she's serious.

"If that's the case, I'll kill him myself." I say with a laugh as Kyla enters the kitchen.

"Dumb and Dumber just came back and Dumb does not look happy." Kyla says laughing so much that she almost falls over. It takes me a second to understand why but as soon as it clicks that Kelly probably is pissed because the car isn't going as fast as she thought it would I burst out laughing too. Soon me, Kyla and Spencer is laughing so hard that tears are forming and Jamie is looking at us like we're crazy. The cousins enters the kitchen looking furious and Kelly walks over to me punching me hard on the shoulder which only makes me laugh more.

"Easy there slugger." I say between laughs.

"You are a fucking jerk, you know that?" She half yells and hits me one more time.

"Language Kelly! And why are you hitting on Ashley?" Lisa, Kelly's mother, says as she walks into the kitchen, crossing her arms over her chest and looks intently at her daughter waiting for an answer. Our laughter subsides into snickers as we watch Kelly trying to form an answer for her mother.

"Ashley is an idiot 'cause she let us borrow the Porsche but somehow she made it impossible to drive it any faster than 50mph." She says carefully fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

"Well, I don't see a problem with that because you're not suppose to even go that fast in the city since that is against the law. Are you telling me you broke the law, Kelly?" Lisa says calmly.

"Uh...eh...no?" Kelly almost whispers which makes me, Kyla, Spencer and Jamie laugh.

"I can't hear you Kelly. Did you or did you not break the law?" Lisa asks her daughter.

"I think she at least tried to." I say causing more laughter.

"Shut the fuck up Ashley!" Kelly says giving me a killing look.

"Kelly!" Lisa says looking at Kelly sternly "You will not speak like that. Apologize and thank Ashley for the loan of the car and we will talk about this when we get back to the mansion." Lisa continues firmly making Kelly groan.

"I'm sorry Ashley and thanks for the loan." Kelly quietly says.

"Anytime Kels, anytime." I say with a smile as I pinch her cheeks. I hear Kyla trying to stifle her laughs.

With a yawn I walk out from the bathroom glancing at my clock, 5:11am. Shit, time goes by pretty fast when you're having fun I think as I enter the livingroom and sits down beside Spencer on the couch. Everyone has left aside from Spencer, Kyla, Eric and Jamie.

"So Ash, I was thinking..." Kyla starts carefully as I sit down and gives me a smile.

"Oh no. That is not a good way to start a sentence. Are you breaking up with me?" I say faking a scared look.

"Aww, funny... No, I'm not."

"Damn, I was hoping you would." I say with a sigh.

"Seriously Ash, can I ask you a question?" Kyla says with a sigh.

"You just did." I answer slyly and yawn again.

"Well, can I ask you another one?" Kyla groans.

"Was that the other question or is there a third coming?" I sigh and lean my head back closing my eyes. I could so fall asleep right here.

"No, that was all I wanted to ask." Kyla says slyly and I know she's shaking her head at my sad jokes even though my eyes are closed.

"Your sense of humor is really low when you're tired." Jamie says with a laugh.

"Yeah, well. It's like five in the morning. My humor went to bed hours ago, along with the rest of my many awesome and genius abilities."

"No, the humor is still there." Jamie says with a laugh and I open my eyes and look at her with a frown. "You just said that you had many awesome and genius abilities. That is funny." She says with a smirk and I just close my eyes again.

"Well, one of my awesome and genius abilities is going to write the music to your beloved movie and that ability does not work well hurt." I say with my eyes still closed and when Jamie doesn't answer I continue "No response Jamie baby?" I crack one eye open to look at her and finds that she's just smiling and shaking her head at me.

"No, no response. I'm too tired and it's time to go home." She says and stands up. "You ready Spence?" She turns her attention to Spencer. Earlier that night we decided that it was for the best that Jamie drove her home since they live in pretty much the same neighborhood.

"Yes, I am." She answers with a yawn. God, she's cute.

"Yeah, we have to go too. Only seven hours until our flight for the Bahamas leaves." Kyla says excitedly. We all stand up and walks over to the door.

"Kyla, what was that question you had for me anyway?" I ask remembering she actually had something to say to me before the conversation went another direction.

"Riiiight. No, it wasn't important. Just wanted you to keep an eye on our house while we're away?" She says but from the looks of it that wasn't really what she wanted to ask earlier and this question she already knows the answer too since she asked me the same thing yesterday. I'm too tired to push it though.

"Of course." I say as I give her a hug.

"My parents will be there until Sunday next week though." She says.

"I know. Have fun on the honeymoon and take care of yourselves." I say and give her another hug before hugging Eric.

"We will." He says and then they're out the door.

"And then there were three..." Jamie says.

"No, then there were two." I say giving Jamie a shove and pointing to the door before turning my gaze to Spencer.

"My God, you are such a sweetheart." She says before closing the door behind her leaving us alone but I barely hear her 'cause all my attention are now focused on the beautiful blonde before me. She gives me a smile, the one smile that immediately makes the butterflies in my stomach go wild. The smile that also makes me forget what I was about to say to her. Something about tonight? What was it? Right...

"Thank you for coming here with me." I say feeling kind of nervous.

"No, thank you for bringing me." She says taking my hands in hers, intertwining our fingers. The simple touch makes my heart skip a beat before doubling its speed.

"It was my pleasure." I answer with a nose crinkling smile and she pulls me in for a hug. I bury my face in the crook of her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her. I drag the tip of my nose up the side of her neck before giving her a feather light kiss below her ear.

"I really want to kiss you right now." I huskily whisper in her ear making her groan.

"What's stopping you?" She whispers and I pull my head back from her neck to look in her eyes.

"Jamie. If I kiss you she's gonna burst through that door." I say with a small smile, knowing it's true. She has the worst timing.

"I don't care. Kiss me." I couldn't deny her demand.

I slowly lean in and moistening my lips in the same motion before capturing her lips for the third time that night, this time with need and desire instead of the sweet and tender ones we shared before. I gently bite down on her lower lip before I lick the offended skin better making her moan and open her mouth which gives me the opportunity to deepen the kiss. As our tongues meet I can't stop the moan forming in my throat. I think this only encourages her 'cause she moves one of her hands from my waist to the back of my neck and pulls me closer to her if that's even possible. Our tongues fight for dominance even though I really don't care. She's more than welcome to control me whenever she wants to. God, I am whipped.

"You better not be doing the naked dance in here." Jamie says opening the door and peeks inside fast before retreating outside again with a laugh. She won't be laughing when I get my hands on her the next time I see her.

To my surprise Spencer doesn't pull away, instead she just slow the kiss down and then gives me a couple of pecks before leaning her forehead to mine.

"Hate to say I told you so." I say with a small smile and she chuckles.

"No, you don't. You love being right."

"Yeah, that's true but in this situation I would've loved being wrong." I say with a sigh.

"Well, I better go before she gets anymore impatient."

"Yeah, that will certainly not be fun." I say before kissing her one more time and take her by the hand walking the short distance to the door.

"Call me tomorrow?" She ask as I open the door for her.

"Absolutely gorgeous." I say with a nose crinkling smile.

"Goodnight." She with a smile before turning around to leave.

"Yeah, goodnight indeed." I whisper as I watch her walk to the car and I give Jamie a wave before closing the door and walks over to the bathroom with a smile. Cold shower needed.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N - Next chapter up! We're getting nearer to the end of this story.**

**Hope you like, and please leave a review and keep me motivated ;)**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter fifteen

_It's a simple fact  
That you can't seem to handle me  
No matter how you act with them  
You can't handle me  
You gotta make me feel you got my back  
But you're a selfish  
Narcissistic psycho-freaking  
Boot-licking Nazi creep and  
You can't handle me_

I groan and reach blindly for where I think my phone is, finally finding it.

"What?!" I grumble into the phone.

_"Well, hello to you too my dear friend. I'm fine, thanks for asking. You don't sound too good though, something the matter?"_ Jamie chipper.

"What do you want?" I sigh and roll around to my back.

_"Just checking if you're alive. You said you'd call me when you woke up today and you haven't called yet. Forgot about me?"_

"No, didn't forget about you. Unfortunately. And you just woke me up from my very much needed sleep. Again, unfortunately..."

_"What? Do you know what time it is?"_

"No, but I bet you're about to tell me." I mumble as I slowly sit up.

"It's freaking five in the afternoon Ash. Get your lazy ass up and get ready! I'll be over in 20 to help you clean up the mess I'm sure your house is in now." She says and hangs up.

God, it's such a pleasure talking to her. Leaves me all tingly inside when she hangs up on me like that... Where did I find a loveable friend like her? Right, rehab. Explains a lot...

Two hours and a lot, I mean A LOT, of coffee later the house once again looks presentable and we're seated in the couch.

"I'm gonna head home and shower then we can buy some delicious Indian take out, play some pool and just chill." Jamie says standing up.

"Why don't you just borrow my shower? And call Chels, she can hang with us." I say trying to not put any meaning behind my words. I know Jamie has a thing for Chelsea.

"Yeah, sure I can borrow your shower but why would I call Chelsea." She says frowning. As if she don't know what I'm talking about...

"Oh, please? Really? You're going with that confused and innocent look?" I say with a smirk.

"What are you talking about?" She says flustered and I stand up with a chuckle.

"Oh, honey. You know I love you but you are looking plain stupid right now." I say and pat her on her cheek before walking in the direction of the kitchen. 30 seconds later she walks in with a smirk.

"What?" I ask her amused.

"Alright, I'll call her. But only if you call Spencer." She says looking smug. Ha! She thinks she got me. Wrong.

"Sweet, you just gave me a perfect reason to invite her, been waiting for it all day." I say with a smirk.

"Damn. This is no fun." She says with a pout.

"No, so call Chels, take a shower and I'll call Spence." I order and she leaves the room still pouting.

I pick up my phone from the counter but instead of calling Spencer I decide to call Aiden to find out why he showed up at my doorstep yesterday. He picks up at the third ring.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey graveyard. Davies here, what's up?"

_"Oh, nothing much. You?"_ He says sounding unsure.

"Nada...What happened to you last night? You just left?"

_"Yeah, sorry bout that. I bet you must've thought I was a real nutcase?"_ He say with a snicker.

"Yeah, kind of..." How to ask someone how they know things about you that they're not suppose to know? "So, how did you find my house?" Bluntness works...

_"Oh, right. Work. Can find out pretty much everything about everyone if I want."_

"Wow. That's...creepy." I say not really sure what to think and he laughs at my response.

_"Yeah, I guess it can be. Let me explain. I was at work last night when I thought about calling you but remembered that I didn't have your number in my at work since I left my phone at home and then a colleague said that I could just check where you lived in the computer system, so I did. Sorry if I invaded your privacy or something."_ He says sincerely.

"I suppose it's okay." I start slowly "But don't go around doing anymore of that weird stuff, if you want to know something about me just ask." I say with a small smile.

_"Of course. Again, I'm sorry."_

"Yeahyeah, moving on. Got any plans for tonight?"

_"Yeah, nothing important though. Waiting for better offers. You have one?"_ He says and I can hear him smirk.

"Maybe, but not the kind you're thinking about though." I say with a laugh.

_"What are you implying? That I have impure thoughts about you?"_ He says seriously.

"You said it, not me." I chuckle before continuing "Me and some friends are hanging out at my house, play some pool, good food and some beers. You in?"

_"Sure, when?" _He says sounding quite excited.

"Just come over whenever."

_"Okay."_ He says and we say our goodbyes and hang up.

I immediately dial Spencer number.

_"Uh, two seconds Ash."_ She says sounding stressed and I hear her mumble some curses and run around.

_"I'm back. What's up?"_ She says a little calmer.

"Nothing. What are you stressing around for?" I ask with a chuckle.

_"Uh...nothing. Just got out of the shower and kind of had to put some clothes on."_

"Why is it that I always seem to call you the moments you just got out from the shower?" I ask trying to not picture her naked this time.

_"I don't know. Maybe your subconscious wants to see me naked."_ She reasons.

"Trust me, it's not just my subconscious that wants that." I say with a smirk.

_"Such a sweet talker."_ Spencer snickers.

"Yeah... Anyway why did you have to put clothes on?"

_"Uh, just saving the kind and lovely old lady with a view directly into my bedroom from an heart attack after seeing me naked."_

"What a wonderful way to go..." I say with a sigh making Spencer laugh.

_"How would you know that?"_

"Sadly I don't."

_"Yeah... I don't know how to answer that."_ She says with a chuckle.

"You can think about the answer on the way here. Jamie and me are gathering some friends to hang out and you're very much welcome to join us. I mean, if you want to?" I say suddenly feeling slightly nervous.

_"Yeah, that sounds like fun."_

"Awesome!" I say trying to contain my happiness, but failing miserable as I hear her laughing at me. We say our goodbyes as Jamie walks in the kitchen grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"Called Chels yet?"

"Yes, she's on her way as here as we speak." She says trying to contain a childish smile but failing miserable.

"Good. I called Spence and she's also on her way. I also called graveyard." I say hoping she's not gonna start another argument about him.

"Oh. Okay, guess that's good. I can finally see what kind of guy he is." She says with a smirk.

"No Jamie. There will be no interrogations. You do not ask him any weird question or anything about yesterday. You do not talk to him at all unless it has something to do with; can I get you another beer or do you want to play some pool. Understood?"

"How can I play pool with him without talking to him?" She asks raising an eyebrow.

"Just don't behave like an overprotective dad on meth around him."

"That doesn't even make sense. What kind of father would I be if I used meth around my daughters friends?" Jamie says with a smirk and I just sigh.

"A fucked up one, okay?"

"You mean fucked up one as in high or fucked up one as in a really shitty father?" She just loves to irritate me...

"Oh my God! Why are we even talking about this?!"

"I'm just curious to what the fuck is going on inside your brain, so which is it? Shitty father or high father?" She presser giving me a look saying she really want to know my answer. She is so weird, always have the most unnecessary question and the most annoying thing is that she doesn't give up until she has an answer that is somewhat pleasing to her. You think I should've learned this after three years of friendship but somehow I haven't... Maybe I'm hoping she'll give it up. They says that hope is the last thing that leaves you. This conversation in my head has gone on long enough, need to give her a satisfying answer so she'll drop it.

"Well Jamie... I mean fucked up as in both, because if he's high on meth it goes without saying that he's fucked up and if he's high in front of his daughter he's a really shitty father and shouldn't even be near his daughter or her friends. What I was trying to say with the statement was that please don't act like yourself around him, okay?" I say with a smirk, though I know the last sentence is going to prevent this conversation to be over.

"Are you comparing me to an overprotective dad on meth?" She asks in mock hurt.

"Yes. Yes I am Jamie." I say with a smirk and she hops down from the kitchen counter where she's been sitting through this meaningless conversation and walks in the direction of the front door. Where the hell is she going now? I turn around and follow her.

"Where are you going Jamie?" I say as she reach the door and opens it only to find Spencer and Chelsea on the other side. Instead of greeting them she turns to me.

"I'm gonna go to my car and get my baseball bat and fire up my meth pipe." She starts with a serious face "I'll be back when I'm high, hyperactive, slightly aggressive, paranoid and maybe with less teeth, who knows?" She continues with a straight face and shrugs before walking outside leaving me laughing and with two very confused ladies still standing outside the door.

"I get the feeling she's joking, if she's not I'm gonna kill her." Chelsea says serious.

"She is." I say as my laughter subsides and I motion for them to come in.

"I'm not sure I even want to know why you guys are joking about drugs but my curiousness is taking over, so why?" Chelsea says and sits down on the couch.

"Long story short, I kind of compared her to an overprotective dad on meth and yeah...you know Jamie." I say with a chuckle.

"Why would you compare her to that?" Spencer ask with a laugh.

"Another long story short, graveyard is coming and I didn't want her to interrogate him."

"Aha, graveyard. Yeah, she told me about him yesterday." Chelsea says.

"Yeah, I have it under control. I'm gonna get to know him a bit tonight. I think he's harmless though." I say giving the both of them a look saying that this conversation is over and I think they get the not so subtle hint.

"So, I'm starving. What are we eating tonight?" Spencer says with a smile.

"Oh, I can think of a few things." I say giving her my best seductive smile before getting up and bringing the phone over and sit down again. I can see a hint of a blush on Spencer's face.

"Jamie was right, you're such a horndog. Like a sixteen year old boy on Viagra. And that was a lame ass attempt to seduce someone. Pathetic..." Chelsea says with a chuckle.

"First of eww! You did not just compare me to a teenager on Viagra? Disgusting, Chels. And very insulting. Second of I like to defend myself, my game has been a little off lately. God knows why." I say with a chuckle.

"Oh, it's not just your game that's been a "little" off lately. Everything about you has been off and I'm pretty sure I know why." Jamie says with a smirk walking inside an eyeing me and then Spencer. I see where this is going. Damn you Jamie...

"I have know idea what you're talking about. You must be high. I thought you were kidding about the meth?" I say with a smile.

"Look?" She says showing her teeth "They're all still there, no methsmoking."

"That's not proof enough. You don't lose you teeth the first time you smoke meth." I say with a laugh.

"Who said this was my first time?" She asks with a smirk.

"It better be the first time since rehab. Otherwise you've been withholding." I say frowning.

"Maybe I have."

"Maybe you should tell me about it?" I say and throw a glance at Spencer and Chelsea and they're watching our banter with amused smiles and slight confusion.

"Maybe I did, but maybe you were too gone in your own little world to notice me."

"Maybe I was." I say trying to remember if she's right and I haven't been paying attention.

"Maybe you should tell me what's going on in that world and maybe I'll tell you about my meth problems?"

"Maybe I will or maybe I won't." The weird thing is that even though this just looks like a strange banter between friends from the outside, we're kind of having a conversation in our own little weird way. This is how we tell each other things in cryptic messages that no one but me and Jamie will understand. Jamie doesn't have a meth problem though, she has a straight Chelsea problem. And I have a falling in love problem, making me oblivious to what's happening around me.

"Maybe you don't have a choice." She says with a smirk.

"Maybe you really are my overprotective father on meth."

"Maybe I am. Maybe you need it."

"Meth?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"Overprotective father."

"Aha, maybe I do."

"Yeah, maybe."

"This conversation has way too many maybes in it so I'm ending it know." I say at the same time there's a knock at the door.

"Yeah, I think that's for the best. I think we lost Chels and Spence somewhere along all those maybes too." Jamie says with a laugh as she walks over to open the door.

I turn my head to the other girl and burst out laughing at their facial expression.

"Your faces may be the funniest thing I've seen in a while." I say between my laughs.

"Yeah? Well, maybe you guys are the weirdest people ever." Spencer says with a smirk and Chelsea nods in approval.  
"Not arguing that." I say before I stand up to greet Aiden.

Two hours later we've eaten and I'm beating the crap out of Aiden in pool.

"Damn, should've ask around if you were any good before I bet 200$ on this game." Aiden says with a laugh.

"Yeah, you should've. Little late for that now." I say with a smirk before I set my aim on the last ball to finish the game of.

"There's no chance in hell that you'll make that though." He says trying to make me lose my concentration.

"Yeah? Wanna bet on it?" I say mocking him but still keeping my eyes on the ball.

"Why not? I mean I'm going to lose the game but I'm pretty sure you won't be able to win it with this shot." He says sounding sure of himself.

"What are we betting on?" Jamie asks coming up to us with Chelsea and Spencer behind her.

"Whether or not I can win this game in this round." I say finally looking up. Jamie takes a quick look on the table to see my chances and then turns to Aiden.

"Well, you haven't the slightest chance to win the game but I think you already know that." She says with a laugh.

"Yeah, I do so I thought that I should win some of the money I'm gonna lose back on this strike." He reasons.

"Graveyard your chances are slim. She's gonna make it. She's a freaking pro on this shit so save your money." Jamie says sounding really serious and she's right, I'm gonna make it.

"You're just trying to scare me. Have you seen the angle? It's fucking impossible to make. There's no way I'm losing this bet." He says with a laugh and Jamie throws up her hands in defence.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I think Aiden is right, there's no way you'll make it Ashley." Chelsea says.

"I agree. It's ridiculous hard." Spencer says with a chuckle and raise my eyebrows at her.

"Don't you have faith in me gorgeous?" I say in mock hurt.

"Of course I have. But lets be realistic, you've got too be a professional player to make this one. Sorry Rockstar."

"Okay, if you say so. Lets make this interesting. Place your bets?" I say with a smirk.

"200 on that you won't make it." Aiden says confidently.

"That means you'll owe me 400 lovely dollars after I'm finished." I say giving him a sweet smile.

"No, that means I'll go out of this game without even losing a cent."

"Yeahyeah, that's what you think?" I say with a smirk and turn to Chelsea.

"You want in on this?"

"Hell yes. I could use the money. A 100 bucks on that you'll miss." She answers with smirk.

"Okay. What about you, gorgeous?" I say turning to Spencer.

"I'm in, same as Chels. Need the money and it'll be sweet to see your ego bruise a bit."

"God, if I wasn't already rich I'd be after this." I say with a smirk. I pretty confident that I'll make. I won't lie, I've had a lot of training. Countless of hours has been spent doing this and Jamie is the only one that knows that I actually been in a couple of tournaments.

"You guys have know idea of what you've done. This will not bruise her ego, this will fucking make her explode of self-confidence. She's going to crush you." Jamie says with a laugh before continuing "Give me your bets, I'll take care of the wagers and make sure everything goes by the book and that the money will end up in the right hands afterwards. Ashley's hands in this case." Jamie says and everyone gives her the money.

"Okay, lets finish this game." Jamie says after counting the money.

I go back to the position I had before this round of bets started. I take a couple of seconds to collect myself before aiming. I can make it. It's easy. I don't care about the money, this is just a case of proving everyone wrong which I'm going to do now but first...

"Oh, and Spence..." I say looking up at her without changing my aiming position and waits for her to meet my eyes and when she does I continue "About only professionals being able to make this strike. Well, that's probably true and I guess this makes me one." I say and make the strike without leaving her eyes. I hear the white ball hit the black one and then a couple of milliseconds later a low thump indicating that the ball has reach its destination and I've won the game. I hear Jamie chuckle evilly which makes me smile. Spencer breaks our gaze and watch the table in disbelief along with Aiden and Chelsea.

"You should've listened to me when I warned you." Jamie says cocky but no one answers because of shock state they are in.

"Pleasure doing business with you guys." I say with a smirk as Jamie hands me the money. "Now I need a beer to try to recover from the fact that non of you believed in me. Bastards." I say trying to sound hurt before I make my way into the kitchen with Jamie following.

"That was fun." She says with a laugh as I hand her a beer.

"Yes, it was." I say laughing.

"This is not okay. That was fraud." Chelsea says as she enters the kitchen with the other two in tow.

"No, it wasn't." I defend.

"Yes, you tricked us." She continues with a snicker letting me know she's not really serious.

"I did not. Aiden played a whole game with me. He knew I was good and he did the bet anyway. He's stupid, but he did bet me." I say with a laugh before taking a swig from the beer.

"Hey, I resent that!" Aiden says.

"I bet you do." Jamie says slyly.

"Funny." He says and gives her an irritated look. I don't think those two are going to get along in the future.

"It was fair game. I hinted many times that you shouldn't do it but you did it anyway so it's you own fault you're a couple of hundreds short." Jamie says with a smirk.

"Yeah, true. But I need that money." Spencer whines with a pout and head tilt. Damn this girl.

"I can think of an another way you can pay of your debt." I say with a smirk as I put a arm around her waist.

"Oh, really? That's good. Makes me feel like a whore." She says with a laugh.

"Aww, but you're not." I say and give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, I can pay you back that way too." Aiden says with a smirk.

"Uh, no. Not gonna happen graveyard." I say with a chuckle.

"Damn." He says with a sigh before taking another beer and walking back to the livingroom with Jamie and Chelsea, leaving me alone with Spencer. Finally.

As soon as they're out of sight I feel myself being pushed up against the kitchen counter and then her lips are on mine. It takes me a couple of seconds to react but when I do I kiss her back with equal intensity. I gasp when I feel her thigh slip between my legs and press up against my center, making me feel like my legs are about to give in any second. She takes the opportunity of me gasping to push her tongue into my mouth and we both moan at the contact. My arms around her waist tighten, I need to feel more of her against me. No, what I need is for the idiots in my livingroom to leave so I can take Spencer to my bedroom and do all kinds of naughty things to her. All coherent thoughts leave my mind as she presses her thigh even more into me and one of her hands makes it way under my shirt up to my left bra clad breast and begins to massage it lightly. I moan at the sensation and tear my mouth away from hers to throw my head back. She's making me crazy, all the emotions running through my body is insane. I've never needed someone as much as I need her now. With my mouth away from hers, she begins to work on my neck. Kissing, licking and biting her way from my collarbone up to my ear before taking my earlobe in her mouth and then whisper:

"This is for tricking me to lose a 100bucks." And then she's gone. Her mouth, hands and thigh, all gone. Unable to say anything I watch in a blur how she leaves the kitchen. What happened? What did she say? Oh my god. Evil. That is my only word for her. Freakin' shit! Sooo not okay. You can't get me all work up and not finish the job. A sexually frustrated Ashley Davies is not someone you want to be in the same room as. She tends to be a little bitchy and by little I mean a lot! Why would she do this to me? Why?! I take a couple of deep breaths and fix my clothes. I hate, really hate, how easy she gets me and I bet she's really proud of herself right about now. Damn her, she'll be the death of me. I need to go out to the others and don't want her to think she got my all worked up. Well, not anymore than she already thinks...


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N - Sorry for the delay of this chapter but it's been pretty hectic around here. I'll probably put another chapter up tomorrow if you guys send me som loving by reviewing ;)**

**Read and enjoy!**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter sixteen

Wednesday. I'm on my way to my record label. It's not very often I actually go there. I mostly let Chris and Paul run it. They're my producers that I hired when the company hit it off and I started to do more outside work, like working with KoL for example. The label has eight bands signed to it at the moment and Chris and Paul do all the producing of the records and only call me in when they need advice or something like that. The bands aren't really that big. My ambition, when I started the record label, was to sign bands that were new and needed help to get to the top. Of course all big decisions that concern the company are made by me but mostly I let my employees make the decisions that concern their areas. The managers, publicists, producers and so on all know what to do, I have complete faith in them. Anyways, today Chris called and said that they are completely swamped and in need of help. Apparently they made the mistake to book three of the bands to record new albums at the same time. Which isn't really that bad since we have three studios and I would've been happy to work with one of the bands any other time of the year but right now I've got to much to do with the movie and KoL. The KoL album won't be finished in another two weeks and the movie in at least a month. So I'm pretty irritated with the guys now, lucky for them KoL had to go to New York and won't be back until Sunday so I'm free for five days. Five days that I had planned to write music for the movie but no, now I have to clean up their mess and I have yet to come up with a plan to do just that. Idiots. And on top of this shit I'm going through Spencer withdrawals, haven't seen her since Sunday, barely even talked to her since she's been pretty busy herself. The whole situation with her is so confusing. I mean, what are we? I have no idea what's happening between us and I haven't had the opportunity to talk to her about it either. It's making me insane and I don't know what to say to her. I'm not really that good at talking about my feelings.

I park my Ferrari in my private parking spot and climb out with a sigh. I walk the short distance to the building and find Johnny sitting behind the desk just inside.

"Hey Johnny." I say as I walk up to him.

"Finally. Here's you coffee." He says with a smile and holds out a Starbucks cup for me.

"Thanks." I say and takes it before continuing "So, what's the latest?"

"Chris and Paul is waiting for you in Studio 1 and they're pretty scared you're gonna be mad as hell."

"Well, I am. I don't really get how this could happen. I mean, wasn't I pretty clear about that they had to work alone for a while?"

"Yeah."

"Anyway. Lets deal." I say and begin to walk in the direction of Studio 1 with Johnny in tow.

"Hey failures." I say walking into the control room and they immediately stands up.

"Please sit." I say as I take a seat myself.

"I'm sorry Ash. We screwed up and did certainly not mean for this to happen." Chris says apologetically.

"I get that you didn't mean for this to happen but what I don't get is that how it could happen in the first place?"

"Well, it was decided almost five months ago and we didn't know you were going to produce Kings of Leon album then." Paul says in a low voice.

"No, but you did know that I was going to work on the movie and I'm fairly certain that I told you guys at that I would be busy with other things this summer. Right?"

"Yes, you did. But...I don't know." Paul says defeated.

"You don't know?" I ask starting to get a little angry with them. They've only been in the music business for two years and both of them are only 22years old so they don't really have that much experience. But I know that they're very talented at what they do and capable of running my company while I stay in the background. This is actually the first time they made a mistake like this and I knew that it was bound to happen sooner or later so now it's time for me to teach my students how to solve a problem like this. Yeah, I already have a solution but gotta make them squirm a little. Right?

"No. Sorry Ash. But we already thought of everything. We can't postpone the releases of the albums 'cause then we'd have to postpone the tours too. The fans are expecting this." Chris says with a sigh.

"Yeah, it's a dead end. You gotta help us." Paul begs.

"Well, I can't. I've got five days off from KoL and even though I'm good, there's no chance in hell that I can make a full length album in that short time. Besides, I gotta write music for the movie."

"Can't you talk to Jamie and see if you can work on the music next week?" Chris says defeated already knowing the answer.

"It doesn't work that way Chris. She expects results, just like everybody else in the entertainment business. And even if she would be that nice, I still can't make a freaking album in five days."

"You're right, I'm sorry." He says.

"Stop saying you're sorry and think of solutions instead. Have you tried calling any of the producers I suggested?"

"Yep. They're all busy." Paul says.

"So you have no solution?" I ask looking at them and they both shakes their heads in answer. I turn to Johnny who's been standing in the doorway watching the conversation.

"Did you get Ricks number?" I ask him.

"Yes, I did." He says and hands me a note with a bunch of numbers on.

"Thanks." I say with a smile and turn my attention back to the guys.

"I know for a fact that Rick Rubin isn't doing anything right know so I'm gonna call him right now and have him produce the girls and you guys will have to take care of the other two bands, okay?" I say and chuckle a little when I see their expressions.

"What?" Paul says confused.

"The Rick Rubin?" Chris says with a frown.

"Yes, the Rick Rubin." I say with a smirk.

"How the fuck are you going to get him to produce a small Indieband?" Chris says.

"Well... First off, he loves me. And second, he owes me." I say with a laugh.

"But..." Chris starts.

"You already planned this?" Paul asks confused.

"Well, wouldn't necessary says planned but I had to come up with a solution since you guys didn't have one. This is my record label after all."

"Yeah... Well, we're still sorry you had to come here and fix our mess." Chris says with a small smile.

"It's okay guys. Really. It's what I do best, fix your messes. I'm not really that mad. Just irritated that you didn't call me any sooner."

"We wanted to try and fix it ourselves." Paul says.

"Whatever. Lets move on now. I'm gonna make this call then head home to try to write some music. See you later." I say and leave the room, dialling Ricks number.

20 minutes later I'm on my way home. I called Rick and he agreed to do it. I love that guy. It's going to be one awesome album and one hell of a experience for the girls to work with him. Now my work is done with the label and I got more important things to do.

10:36pm. I rub my temples as I get up from behind the piano after four hours of working on songs for the movie. I'm pretty pleased with myself and what I accomplished. I walk into my kitchen and pick up my phone from the counter to check if someone called me. Only one message from Kyla telling me that they're having a blast on their honeymoon and to call her tomorrow. As I put the phone in my pocket it goes off. I pick it up and look at the screen to see that it's Spencer. With a big smile I answer.

"Hey gorgeous."

_"Hey."_ She says with a broken voice that makes me concerned.

"What's wrong?" I say and the only answer I get is her sniffles.

"Why are you crying?" I ask alarmed.

_"Can you...you maybe come and get me?"_ She asks between sobs.

"Of course. But tell me what's wrong?" I say as I hurriedly grabs my keys and walks out the door.

_"Just...just come and get me."_ She says trying to gather herself.

"Okay, okay. Where are you?" I climb in my SUV and starts it up.

_"My apartment."_

"Okay, I'm on my way. But, Spence... Please tell me what's wrong?" I ask getting really worried as I drive away from my house.

_"Please, just hurry Ash."_ She says and begins to cry again.

"Okay, please don't cry gorgeous. I'll be there in five."

_"Thank you. Please talk to me while you drive here."_ She says sounding scared.

"Of course." I say wondering what the fuck or who the fuck is making the blonde beauty sound so broken. "What do you wanna talk about?" I ask not really knowing what to say to make her feel better.

_"Just tell me about your day."_ She says in a low voice.

"Okay. Uh...I had to call in a huge favour today." I say with a small smile.

_"Yeah?"_ She asks curious and it sounds like she smiles a bit at my attempt of changing the subject.

"Yeah, had to call Rick Rubin who's this big shot producer and get him to produce one of my bands since my incompetent employees screwed up." I say with a chuckle.

_"Yeah? How did you get him to do it?"_

"Well, he owed me."

_"Why?"_

"I helped him out a couple of years ago with some personal stuff and I've known him since I was little. He produced most of my father's album." I say as park in front of Spencer's building. "I'm outside. Want me to come up?"

_"Yes, please."_

"Okay. Be right there." I say as I climb out the car and we hang up. I take the stairs instead of the elevator and I'm soon knocking on her door.

"Hey." She says when she opens her door. Her eyes are swollen from crying. She turns around to walk away but I stop her by taking her by the wrist. I wait for her to turn around to look at me but she doesn't.

"What's wrong Spencer?" I say my voice filled with concern.

"Carmen will be here any second and I need to get out before she comes." She says tiredly and breaks the hold I've got on her and walks in the direction of what I'm guessing is the bedroom.

"Your ex?" I ask as I follow her.

"Yeah." She answers and by the sound of her voice she really doesn't want to talk about it but I need some answers.

"Okay. I get that you want out of here but isn't this your apartment? I ask confused.

"No, it's Carmen's. She wasn't suppose to be back in another two weeks and by then I would've move into my new apartment. She called me just before I called you and told me that she was at the airport and that she expected me to be here when she got home so we could "talk", that's why I need to get out of here." She answers as she walks around in the room and gathers some things and puts them in a bag. Why does she emphasise the word talk? What does she mean by that?

"I don't understand." I say confused.

"I don't expect you to understand." She snaps and brush away a couple of tears that's made their way down her cheeks.

"Hey, come here." I say and pull her in for a hug.

"We gotta go." She says after a couple of minutes. She releases me and walks over to the window.

"Shit, she's already her." She says and turns to me with wide eyes. "Take that bag." She says and walks out to the livingroom. I take the bag and follow her. She takes another bag from the couch and walks over to the front door and opens it for me. I walk out and heads in the direction of the elevator.

"No, this way." She says and walks in the other direction.

"Where are you going?"

"To the emergency stairs. Don't wanna risk running into her." She says as we reach the door that leads out to the emergency stairs. I don't question her but I'll definitely do it later. I don't understand why she's so scared.

We climb the stairs in a hurry, soon reaching my car and throwing the bags in the back before climbing in. As soon as I start the car up Spencer's phone goes off. She glance down on the screen and then ignores it. When we leave Spencer's street I throw a glance at her. She's leaning her head against the window with closed eyes.

"I'm guessing the car you used the other day wasn't yours either since you called me?" I ask mostly to keep a conversation going but she just nods in confirmation.

"What did just happen Spencer?" I ask after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Please Ash, just leave it. I don't wanna talk about it. Just take me to some motel." She says.

"No, you're not staying at some shitty motel. You'll stay at my place until you can move into your apartment."

"I can't. I don't wanna cause more trouble for you than I already have."

"You haven't caused any trouble for me and this is not up for discussion." I say and she doesn't argue with me. The rest of the drive is made in silence and soon I'm parking the car in my garage.

I put her bags down in my livingroom and turn around to look at her. She looks really tired and I decide that I won't push her about what happened anymore. At least not tonight.

"Take my bed. I'll sleep on the couch." I say before making my way to the bedroom to get change into my nightwear.

"No, I'll take the couch. You've already done enough." She says as she follows.

"Don't argue with me. You've had a rough night and need some good sleep. I know you have a early morning tomorrow." I say and starts to leave the room but she stops me.

"At least stay here with me?" She asks giving me a small smile and after a couple of seconds of debating the question with myself I nod in answer.

When I get back from the bathroom she's already under the covers. I get in the bed with a yawn and lays on my back staring at the ceiling wondering what the fuck happened tonight. I close my eyes to try to get some sleep and that's when I hear quiet sobs coming from Spencer. I inwardly curse whatever Carmen did to the blonde beside me as I turn around to my side and put my arm around her waist. She tense up at first before completely relax and snuggle up against me. I tighten my arm around her before giving her a kiss below her ear.

"Goodnight gorgeous." I whisper before closing my eyes and falling fast asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N - Next update! :) Only four more chapters to go after this.**

**Please read and review darlings! :)**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter seventeen

When I woke up the next morning I was alone in the bed. Even though it was expected I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I was hoping Spencer would've woken me up and at least given me some sort of explanation to what happen and why she was running from her ex. Now I have to go all day waiting for her to come back and even though I have a lot of things to do today I'm doubting I'll actually find the peace to do it. I walk out of the bathroom and into the kitchen were I find a note on the kitchen counter. I pick it up and read it.

_God morning Rockstar._

_I'm sorry for last night and I appreciate everything you did for me._

_I borrowed the SUV and I'll be back around five. _

_Love, Spence._

Not much of explanation there either. I crumple the note in my hand before throwing it away and taking my phone and keys. Breakfast at Starbucks today and since I won't be able to get some work done today I'm heading to the movie set.

An hour later I'm parking the car beside Jamie's and climbing out. I walk around set trying to find someone I know when I see Madison.

"Hey Mads." I say as I walk up to her.

"Hello Davies. What brings you by today?" She ask giving me a smile before looking down at the papers in her hand again.

"Oh, you know. Boredom." I say with a sigh.

"The Rockstar life begining to crumble or something?" She says with a laugh.

"Or something."

"Okaaay. How's the writing going?" She asks as she puts down the papers and begins to walk motioning for me to follow.

"It goes."

"You're vague today." She says with a smile.

"Yeah, sorry. A lot of shit on my mind." I with a sigh.

"Anything you want to talk about?" She ask with a smile.

"Thanks but I have no idea where to start. Hell, I don't even have a clue about anything these days."

"Sounds...complicated."

"Mhm." I say and we walk in silence for a while. "How well do you know Spencer?" I ask thinking maybe she has some idea of what happened to her. I know it's so wrong of me to go behind Spencer back trying to find out what happening but I see no other option since I'm doubting she'll tell me herself.

"Oh, this weird mood of yours is about her?" She asks curious.

"Kind of. So...?"

"Not much I can say. I met her through this movie and I don't know much about her except that she was married and now she's not." Madison says and I get the feeling she at least knows a bit more than she's telling.

"Why don't you ask her about it yourself. I mean, aren't you guys together?" She asks with a frown. How the fuck do I answer that? I mean, what are we?

"Uh...yeah, no."

"What? You're not together?" She asks with a even bigger frown. Man, can't she leave the question alone. I obviously haven't an answer.

"No, we're not. I mean...I don't know."

"Ashley Davies don't know. I bet that's a new experience?" She asks with a laugh.

"Funny Mads. But yeah, it kind of is." I answer with a chuckle.

"Well, you have the confusion in question there..." She begins and points toward Spencer who's talking to two other girls "...if you wanna find out you better talk to her." She continues.

"No, I think I'll leave her be. But you can tell me where I can find Jamie. I saw her car so she's gotta be here somewhere." I ask not really feeling like I want to talk to Spencer right now.

"Okay. Yeah, she's in that trailer having a production meeting but it should be over any second." She answers and points to where I can find her.

"Thanks Mads. I'll just wait outside until she's finished."

"Okay. Guess I'll see you around. I hope everything solves itself for you." She says giving me a genuine smile.

"Yeah, me too. See you." I say and watch her walk in the direction of Spencer and the other girls. I turn around and walk up to the trailer opposite of the one Jamie's in and leans against it. I decide to light up a cigarette as I wait.

Five minutes later the trailer door opens and two guys walks out first and one of them gives me a suspicious look. What the fuck, can't a girl hang outside a trailer without people thinking I'm some kind of criminal. Fucking suits. I bet there're some kind of investment people, hoping to make a lot of money out if this movie. Too good for us mortal folks. I give him a smirk before taking a drag of my cigarette and watch as he whispers some words to the other guys who just shrugs. I'm so not in the mood for this...

"You lost or something?" The first guy says.

"No, not exactly." I say as I drop the cigarette to the ground and step carefully on it.

"You have any business being here?" He says still standing 15 feet away from me.

"No, not really." I say slyly, feeling slightly on the edge today so my bitchy side will definitely come out and play soon if he doesn't leave me alone.

"Well, if you have no business here, get lost. Only employees are allowed on the set." He says trying to stay calm.

"No, I think I'll stay here." I say hoping Jamie will show up very soon.

"Okay, kid. Get out of here before I have security throw you out." He says irritated.

"Kid?" I ask with a smile as I push myself of the trailer and walk the short distance to him.

"Yeah, kid. You don't look a day older than 20." He says with a chuckle.

"Well, Mr..." I start as I take off my sunglasses and leans forward a bit to read the movie set pass he has hanging around his neck "...West. I'll take that as a compliment and I think you've done your business here so why don't you run along?" I say with a smirk pulling my sunglasses back on and motion for him to leave. Of course he's not gonna leave, now he's gonna say something like how the fuck are you to talk to me like that or give me another threat about security.

"Honey. Clearly you have no idea who you're talking to so keep those smartass comments to yourself and get the fuck out of here before I get security to escort you." He says trying to contain the fact that he's beginning to get angry. I love to provoke people but I'm thinking that this guy won't budge. I get a bad feeling from him.

"Did you just call me honey, dickhead? Clearly you have no fucking idea of who your are talking to. I'm betting that I can get security to remove your sorry excuse of an ass from the property before you even have the time to spell your four letter last name, Suit." I say with a smirk. I can't stop myself. I won't let people talk to me like I'm some kind of kid.

"Wow, you've got a big mouth full of nasty words. Not surprising since you're probably a whore and used to have your mouth filled with all kinds of juicy and naughty stuff." He says with a smirk looking up and down my body. Creep.

"Oh, you did not just say that!" A voice says to the left of me and my head turns so fast it might cause permanent damage. I see that the comment came from Madison and that Spencer and the two girls from before is standing there with her.

"I sure did." He says and grabs a hold of my arm and pulls me closer to him. Yeah, now he's angry. Good thing though, I'm so gonna get him fired.

"Suit. Let go off me before I do some serious damage to some of the vital parts of your body. That is if I can find them." I say in a low voice still smirking.

"Oh, you won't have a problem with that when I'm so far up your ass that you'll be screaming for mercy." He says with a smirk trying to whisper so the other wouldn't hear him but failing since the anger is getting the better of him. My God, where did Jamie find this charming guy? Oh, speaking of Jamie, I catch a glimpse of her coming out from the trailer with Chelsea in tow. Well, I had enough of public humiliation and I'm about to make his worse. I tear my arm away from his grasp before kneeing him between his legs with all the force I can muster. He bends forward with a groan holding his jewels with both of his hands. I lean forward and whisper in his ear.

"You're fucking with the wrong person." I say before standing up straight and begins to walk away "This will be an awesome story to tell the grandchildren, the day I got beaten up by Ashley Davies for being a sexist asshole. Well, that would mean that you actually get grandchildren and I'm not sure you'll be able too." I yell back at him as I walk away, proud of myself that I didn't lash out totally and beat the shit out of him. Damn, I should've beaten the shit out of him. I clench my jaw together and take a deep breath as I'm almost at the parking lot. I walk fast hoping that my friends will leave me alone but knowing that they won't.

As I reach my car I lose it, my anger from this situation and the last days frustration getting the better of me and I hit the door of my car with my fist with full force. It hurts like hell but I know it's gonna make me calm down a bit. I hear low voices getting closer.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I mumble as I hit the roof of my Porsche with my palms before leaving them there and leaning against them with my head hanging down. I hope there wasn't any paparazzi around to get that 'cause I'm screwed if they did. I've worked to hard to stay out of the spotlight to let some jerk like him destroy it and if I get any bad publicity now I'm going to drag my label and the movie down with me. Shit, Jamie's gonna be so mad if this get caught on pictures or even worse on tape. Since it happened at the set it's going to be really bad.

"Let her be." I hear Jamie say.

"I need to see if she's okay and that the asshole didn't hurt her." I hear Spencer argue. I'm thinking they don't know I can hear them.

"Yeah, I get that you wanna do that but trust me she needs to be alone for a moment. To collect herself. She's just gonna snap at you if you go there now." Jamie reasons and she's right. She's lived through a lot of situations like this with me. It makes me smile that she knows me so well. Too well.

"Let me go there Jamie. What if she drives away and does something she'll regret later?" Spencer says and I can hear the concern in her voice.

"She won't. Spence, you gotta trust me on this. She's strong."

"She was practically molested Jamie!" Spencer says raising her voice a bit.

"Calm down Spencer. As miserable as this situation is she's been through a lot worse, believe me. And I'm guessing she's not beating herself up over what he did but the fact that she let him do it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she tries to stay away from situations like this."

"Situations like?" Spencer presses.

"You remember when we were at Ego and your friend behaved like an ass?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, lets just say that the old Ashley would've beaten the crap out of her and wouldn't have given a shit about the consequences. You get where I'm going with this?"

"Kind of."

"That's how Ashley dealt with people who got in her way or even talked to her in a way she didn't like but not anymore. She's stays away from all the bad publicity and now she's probably pissed that there's a chance that this will end up in tomorrows Hello magazine or something." Time for me to make myself known. I push myself of the car and walk over to them.

"You right Jamie." I say as I walk past them and back to the movie set.

"You heard that?" Jamie asks with a frown as she comes up to me.

"Yep, all of it."

"Sorry."

"It's okay." I say as I sit down on the bench Spencer and I sat on the second time I met her.

"Ash, don't think about the publicity shit. If this gets out, we'll sue however put it out there 'cause they aren't suppose to be here. And when it comes to Mr. West, I already got rid of him. I just wish I had a chance to beat the fuck out of him. Fucking asshole." Jamie says seriously making me smile.

"I think Ashley already took away his manhood." Spencer says with a chuckle.

"Hopefully. He's not worthy of it." I say with a smile.

"Well, I need to get back to work. Why don't you two get back to your place Ash." Jamie says with a smile. How does she know Spencer's staying with me?

"Spencer told me." Jamie says when she sees my expression and then she walks away.

"You okay?" Spencer asks me after a moment of silence.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Angry, but he didn't hurt me." I answer and give her a reassuring smile.

"Good." She says.

"Lets get home." I say as I stand up and take her hand in mine, fitting perfectly as always.

When we get home I flop down on the couch with a sigh. Spencer lifts my legs and sits down putting them in her lap and gently begins to massage my calves.

"That feels good." I say with a long sigh closing my eyes.

A comfortable silence fills the room and my thoughts go back to yesterday. We desperately need to talk. I need answers.

"Spence?"

"Yeah?"

"We need to talk." I say in a low voice without opening my eyes. I hear her let out a deep breath and she stops her motions on my legs.

"About?"

"Last night." She silent for a while and I begin to think that she's not going to answer me at all.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you." She begins and I stay quiet waiting for her to continue and it takes her a couple of minutes.

"We were married for more than three years. Everything was pretty much perfect until March this year when Carmen's brother was killed in Iraq. The first weeks after his death she became distant and she barely talked to me. One day I tried to get her to talk to me and she snapped. She got so mad and something in her changed that day. She left our apartment and was gone for two days and when she finally got home she was so drunk I was amazed she actually found her way back. Well...after she begun to drink a lot and half the time she wasn't home and when she was we fought. Argued about everything possible. She became more and more aggressive so I decided to divorce her and yeah...that's pretty much where we are today." She finishes with a sigh. No. Do not believe that is the end of this story. It doesn't make sense at all. Why was she so scared that she cried yesterday if this is the whole story? Sure, an aggressive person can scare the shit out of you but the fear I saw last night has to run deeper then this. Something isn't right and I'm sure she's withholding. Why though? I don't get her. She's barely even showing any emotions right now. Pressure her more or not? That is the question. Don't wanna fight with her but I feel the need to know the truth. Pressure it is.

"Why were you so scared last night?" I ask carefully.

"I wasn't." She answers after a little while turning her gaze to met my eyes and tries to give me a reassuring smile but I know she's lying.

"Really?" I ask her frowning.

"Really." She says lifting my legs to the side and straddle me before placing my hands above my head and hold them down by the wrists with one hand, the other hand slowly making its way down the valley between my breast and my stomach before slipping under my shirt to my side where she makes painfully slow patterns with her index finger making my eyes flutter shut. Awesome distraction technique, not gonna work though.

"Yeah? You promise?" I say with a shaky voice. Damn her and her magic hands. I need to find out the truth.

"I promise Ashley." She says as she sits up and takes of her shirt in one motion, revealing her black lace bra and perfectly toned stomach. I moan at the sight of her.

Yeah... I'm screwed...


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N - Next chapter! :) Please read and review!**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter eighteen

Yeah... Screwed indeed. My search for the truth was almost forgotten as Spencer crashed our mouths together. I can always ask tomorrow right? No! What happened to self-control? Yeah, lost that the minute this manipulative woman walked into my life. No, come on Ashley. You can't let her play you like this. God, when did she unbutton my shirt? Damn, she's good. No, back on track Davies. Say something!  
"Spence...?" Yeah, well at least I said something even though it was more of a moan than anything else.

"Ssshh..." Spencer says putting a finger to my lips and looking into my eyes. The normal bright blue eyes now showing a darker shade. The want and desire showing makes my breath hitch in my throat. I sit up and kiss her, trying to pour everything I feel into the kiss. Yeah... I admit myself defeated, she's too devious for me. Who am I kidding, you know? I had no chance against her at all...

"Bedroom?" I mumble between kisses and she gets up from me without releasing the hold on my lips. I lead her backwards into my bedroom and push her down lightly on the bed before letting my shirt fall of my shoulders and taking of my jeans and then straddle her. I lean down to meet her lips in a hungry kiss before looking deep into her eyes, trying to find some sort of regret or hesitation but finding non so I kiss her again, pushing my tongue into her mouth making us both moan at the contact. I pull her up to sitting position before reaching behind her back to unclasp her bra and taking it off in one swift motion. I push her back down to her previous position on the bed and take the beauty of her in before leaning down taking her earlobe in my mouth sucking lightly on it.

"You're so beautiful Spence." I whisper before beginning to work on her neck making her moan. I slowly make my way down to her chest, biting and sucking, taking off my own bra in the process leaving me in only my panties while she's still in her pants. Gotta fix that. As I begin to suck on her nipple her back arches into my mouth and she groans making me smile against her skin. God, I love the effect I have on her.

One of my hands begins to rub her other breast whilst my free hand starts to unbutton her jeans. I get off her to remove her jeans and panties in the same movement before discarding the last of my own clothing. She pulls me down on top of her and we both moan at skin to skin contact. The electricity shooting through my body is insane, everything I ever felt for another person pales in comparison to this. We kiss deeply until the lack of air makes itself known and I begin to place open mouth kisses down her body and when I reach her navel I give it a quick swirl with my tongue and part her legs at the same time. I kiss the inside of her thighs before taking in the scent of her.

"God, you're so wet." I say in a low voice and glance up at her seeing she has her eyes tightly shut. I take a long lick along her slit, tasting her for the first time and finding a new addiction.

"Oh God Ash..." She groans and her hips buck violently, forcing me to hold her down.

I take her clit in my mouth, sucking gently and I know she's not far from her release. I decide this is not the time for torture so I thrust two fingers deep inside her.

"Fuck..." She moans grasping the sheets desperatly. The sounds coming from Spencer is almost alone enough to make me cum.

"Ash...I need you up her with me." Spencer pants and I comply, kissing her deeply before looking down at her closed eyes.

"Look at me Spence." And she does, struggling to keep her eyes open. God, she's so sexy right now. The desire I find in her eyes makes me moan and I almost climax. Without warning Spencer thrusts three fingers inside me.

"Fuck babe." I groan and bury my face in the crook of her neck. I feel her muscles begin to contract around my fingers.

"So close...cum with me Ash." Spencer moans, her voice low and husky, as she curls her fingers inside me hitting the spot that's gonna make me tumble over the edge. I do the same as I give her a sloppy and wet kiss. Spencer's orgasm rips through her body making me climax hard too and the arm I've been holding myself up with gives in and I collapse half on top of her. I lay my head on her chest listening to her hammering heartbeat.

"That was...intense." Spencer says after at least five minutes of silence where we both trying to calm our breathing and pounding hearts.

"Yeah..." I say as I can't find any other words at the moment.

"I'm gonna change your name from gorgeous to sexy. Or even better a double name. Yeah, you're sexy-gorgeous from now on." I say with a smile after a while and she chuckles at me.

"Damn, I need to get hot in there too. Hot-sexy-gorgeous it is." I say seriously.

"You don't think that is a little long?"

"Yeah, you're right. HSG will do." I reason.

"You know that's short for a medical procedure, right?" Spencer snickers.

"Yeah? What kind of procedure?" I ask lifting me head to look at her.

"You do not wanna know. Trust me, it'll destroy the nickname." She says with a laugh.

"Come on tell me anyway?" I pout.

"Okay, remember you asked for it." She says with a laugh before continuing "I don't know that much about it except that it's used for finding out if a woman is infertile." She says frowning.

"Eww, say no more. Total destruction of the hot, sexy and gorgeous nickname. Now I have to come up with something else. Why did you just say that?" I whine making Spencer laugh.

"You asked."

"Yeah, well...You should've known better than to let me have my way. You totally shattered the mood in here." I say laying my head down on her chest again.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

"Well, I think I can restore it." Spencer says and flips us around so she's on top before kissing me hard and deep making me forget we ever had a conversation. Making me forget how to communicate at all for that matter. Form words are overrated when you have a hot, sexy and gorgeous blonde on top of you.

Several hours later I wake up and throw a glance at my alarm clock, 1:02am. I look over at Spencer who's on her stomach sleeping soundly. Her calmness makes me smile. I kiss her shoulder lightly before getting out of bed throwing on a T-shirt and panties before making my way to the bathroom. When I'm done there I find myself going down to the basement. I take down one of the guitars from the wall in the control room and seats myself on the couch to disappears into my own word of writing. The nights events making me feel unusually creative.

I have no idea how long I've been sitting there when I hear the door opens.

"Hey." Spencer says in a low voice and I look up at her, she's standing in the doorway in my robe.

"Hey gorgeous." I say and pat the seat next to me motion for her to sit down and she does.

"What you doin'?"

"Nothing. Just got inspiration to finish a song I've been working on."

"Yeah? For the movie?" She asks as takes my hand in hers making lazy patterns on it.

"No, for personal use."

"Sing it for me?" She asks with smile.

"I can't." I say with a small smile.

"Why?" She asks curiously.

"Because it's embarrassing."

"Why write it if you're not gonna show it to the world?"

"It's not so much the world that's the problem." I say with a smile.

"Come on, it's just me." She says with a chuckle.

"Yeah, that is the problem." I chuckle.

"Pweease?" She asks with a pout and tilts her head. Damn, she had to bring out the big guns. Why? Why are you punishing me God?

"Okay." I say with a sigh and strum a couple of chords on the guitar before beginning to play the song.

_When I was younger  
I saw my daddy cry  
And curse at the wind  
He broke his own heart  
And I watched  
As he tried to reassemble it_

_And my momma swore that  
She would never let herself forget  
And that was the day that I promised  
I'd never sing of love  
If it does not exist_  
_  
But darling,  
You, are, the only exception_

_Maybe I know, somewhere  
Deep in my soul  
That love never lasts  
And we've got to find other ways  
To make it alone  
Keep a straight face_

_And I've always lived like this  
Keeping a comfortable, distance  
And up until now  
I had sworn to myself that I'm  
Content with loneliness_  
_Because none of it was ever worth the risk_  
_  
Well, You, are, the only exception_

_I've got a tight grip on reality  
But I can't  
Let go of what's in front of me here  
I know you're leaving_  
_In the morning, when you wake up  
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream_

_Ohh_

_You, are, the only exception  
And I'm on my way to believing  
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing_

I play the last chords and I hadn't dared to look at her at all through the song and I kept my eyes shut. I open my eyes slowly and turn my head to look at her and find that a couple of tears has escaped her eyes, I reach out to brush them away and then she takes the guitar from my lap and pull me close to her. Our lips crash together and when we brake apart we're both gasping for air and my heart is pounding so hard it feels like it's gonna break through my ribs and leave my body.

"You ready for round two?" Spencer asks with a smile as she stands up and holds out her hand for me to take.

"More like round six our something." I say with a chuckle making her laugh.

"By the way, how many rounds is there in a boxing match?" I ask as we walk up the stairs.

"Twelve or something I think. Why?" She says with a chuckle.

"Just checking." I say and I have set my aim for the night. Twelve it is. Achievable? Without a doubt...


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N - I am so very sorry for the delay! I've been meaning to put this up weeks ago but I've been distracted. So again, I'm very sorry. **

**Only two more chapters after this one, so we're getting close to the end! ;) **

**Hope you enjoy, and if you have a second over please give me a review :)**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter nineteen

I woke up the next morning feeling so damn sore, guess that's what you get for challenging yourself to go twelve rounds of "boxing". But, sweet mother of God it was worth it. I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. I glance over at the sleeping blonde beside me and then to the clock, 7:36am. Damn, she needs to be on set in an hour. Guess that means no more sex. To be honest I don't think I have the strength for it. I mean, I'm usually the one people can't keep up with but I gotta say Spencer, yeah...she's got some serious stamina. She's gonna be the death of me. New mission, gotta start working out. I move my hand to brush a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear before kissing her bare shoulder.

"Spence. Time to get up gorgeous." I whisper and watch her slowly wake.

"No. I just fell asleep. Let me be." She groans into the pillow making me chuckle.

"Aww, someone's grumpy." I say with a smile.

"Whose fault is that? Keeping me up all night." She mutters.

"You blaming me?" I ask in mock hurt.

"Yes, I am." She says finally opening her eyes and looking at me trying to contain a smile.

"Yeah? Well, you certainly didn't complain a couple of hours ago when you were screaming my name." I say with a smirk.

"Shut up." She says before burrowing her head in the pillow again.

"If anyone's the blame for this it's Jamie." I say with a chuckle.

"How so?" Spencer ask looking at me with a frown.

"She's the one that decided that filming at the freaking crack of dawn on a Friday would be a brilliant idea. And she's kind of the one that brought us together." I say seriously.

"Yeah, lets blame Jamie for me being tired after having mind blowing sex all night even though I knew that I had to get up early for work. Sounds about right." She says with a laugh. All I heard was mind blowing sex. Can you blame me?

"That good ah?" I ask with a wink.

"Once again, shut up. And get up!" She says as she gets out of bed heading for the door.

"What? Why?" I ask confused and sits up.

"Well, if I'm going up at this hour so are you." She says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. But to me, it's not. No way I'm getting up now. I'm gonna get me some heavenly hours of sleep.

"That's not fair." I say pouting.

"It's more than fair. And that pout is not gonna work on me. Get up." She says demanding. Damn, she's hot when she's bossy.

"No. You're not my mother." I say and throw myself back down on the bed.

"God, you better not do what we did last night with your mother. Now, get up!"

"Eww, Spence. That's disgusting." I say refusing to give in to her orders about getting up.

"Well, you started it by calling me your mother. Get. Up." She says and pulls the covers of me.

"Okay, okay. I'm up. Demanding much?"

"Why yes I am. Come on, lets take a shower." She says taking my hand leading me to the bathroom. Why didn't she just say that we were taking a shower together from the beginning? Would've made this conversation so much shorter, which would've given us a lot more time in said shower.

"Why didn't you just say that from the start? I would've been up so fast that the speed of light would've seemed slow in comparison." I ask with a smirk.

"Yeah... I have no idea why I didn't mention it sooner."

45minutes later, after a shower that was way too short for my liking and breakfast at Starbucks, we're parking my car at the movie set.

"I don't know how I'm gonna be able to work today. I'm too tired and my body is all fucked up." Spencer says with a sigh as we're walking to what I think is the actresses' trailer.

"I can't believe I let you drag me here. And about your body being fucked up...well, that's not so strange considering that we did fuck all night." I say with a smirk.

"Oh for the love of God, shut the fuck up!" Spencer exclaims and hits me on my shoulder before taking my hand in hers intertwining our fingers.

"Hello Lovebirds." Madison says coming up to us.

"Hey Mads." Spencer and I says in unison.

"So, what's the latest? You're together now or what?" Madison asks with a smile. I look at Spencer for some sort of reaction and she smile brightly at me so I decide to answer for the both of us.

"Yes, we are Madison." I say giving Spencer a nose crinkling smile.

"Finally. Anyway Spencer, Jamie needs you on set like now. She's already on the edge and we do not wanna aggravate the beast anymore." She says with a chuckle.

"No, you better not... Well, I'm gonna find a place to take a nap on." I start and leans up to Spencer's ear taking her earlobe in my mouth, biting on it slightly, before whispering "And repeat our earth-shattering night over and over again in my mind." I finish with a smirk before taking her chin in my hand bringing our lips together. She gasps at our sudden contact and I take the opportunity to push my tongue into her mouth. I hear her trying to stifle a moan which makes me smile against her lips.

"Enough with the PDA already." I hear Madison say. I ignore the statement but slow the kiss down knowing Spencer got work to do. It makes me smirk when I see Spencer's dumbstruck expression.

"A little something for good luck and yes...feel free to watch me when I walk away." I say with a wink before turning around and leave. Yeah, I know she's gonna make me pay for that later.

Almost two hours later I emerge from the trailer Madison told me I could spend my sleeping time in and walk over to where they are currently filming. I light up a cigarette and watch Jamie yell at some poor kid for whatever reason. She can be quite intimidating when she want. I chuckle to myself at the scene before someone wraps their arms around my waist and whispers in my ear.

"Hey girlfriend."

"Mmm, I like the sound of that." I say as I turn around in her arms to be met by Spencer's beautiful smile.

"Yeah?"

"Like it a lot actually." I say before giving her a kiss.

"Good. I'll make sure to use it as often I can then."

"Mhm, perfect." I say as I bring her closer to me and nuzzle my nose into the crook of her neck.

"Ready to go back home?" She says after a while.

"Already?" I ask confused.

"Yeah, Jamie doesn't need me anymore today."

"Lets go then." I say interlacing our fingers and heads for the parking lot.

An half an hour later we're back in my house and seated in the couch, well I'm seated, she's laying down with her head in my lap. I lazily runs my finger through her hair and watch old Family Guy episodes on the TV. She's almost asleep when my phone goes of. I glance at the screen and sees that it's Aiden.

"Hey graveyard." I say with a small smile.

_"Can you stop with that nickname?"_ He says trying to sound mad but I can hear him smile.

"No, I cannot."

_"Yeahyeah, whatever. Are you home?"_

"Why?" I ask seeing where this is going but not really wanting someone to come over and disturb my time with Spencer.

_"I forgot my jacket at your place last time I was there and I kind of need it. So are you home, yes or no?"_

"Yeah, I'm home." I say with a sigh.

_"Aha, I get it. You're not alone?"_ He says with a chuckle.

"No, I'm not."

_"Well, I won't stay. Just getting my jacket and leaving. Ok?"_

"Yeah, sure..."

_"Sweet, I'll be there in 5."_

We say our goodbyes and hang up. I throw my phone at the table with a sigh.

"Who was it?" Spencer asks looking up at me.

"Aiden. He's coming to get his jacket."

"Okay." She says with a yawn and sits up.

"What do you say about pizza and a movie when he's gone?" I ask as I stand.

"Sounds perfect." Spencer says at the same time the doorbell rings "I'll order the pizza while you get rid of him." She continues with a smile before getting up and heads for the kitchen.

I make my way over to the door and opens it.

"Hey Ash. Sorry to disturb." He says with a apologetic smile.

"It's okay. Here's your jacket." I say and hands it to him.

"Thanks." He says and looks over my shoulder with a surprised expression. I turn my head in the direction he's looking to see what's so interesting and I see that it's Spencer he's looking at.

"Damn, does she live here now or something?" He says with a chuckle.

"Yeah...kind of." I answer and he gives me a curious look.

"Long story." I say when I see it.

"Oh, well okay. I'll get out of your way and I'll talk to you later." He says and begins to walk away.

"Yeah. See you." I say as I close the door.

Two movies later we're both feeling pretty tired and decides to take a nap but our planes gets interrupted as there's a knock at the door. Who the fuck is that? Can't people leave us alone?

"You take care of that, I need to go to the bathroom." Spencer says and disappears.

I get up with a sigh and opens the door to find a brunette on the other side.

"Hey...can I help you?" I ask puzzled. Damn, I recognise her from somewhere...

"Yeah, is Spencer here?" She asks slightly irritated.

"Maybe. But who are you?" I ask getting a bad feeling.

"Non of your fucking business." She says raising her voice a bit.

"It is, since this is my house. So, I ask again. Who are you?" I ask trying to stay calm.

"Carmen?" I hear Spencer say from the other side of the room.

"Yeah, I'm Carmen." The chick says giving me a smug smile before starting to go into my house but I stop her by putting my arm on the doorframe making her almost walk into it.

"I don't remember inviting you in." I say and she backs up a couple of steps before giving me annoyed look.

"I don't remember caring."

"Carmen. What are you doing here?" Spencer says hesitantly, still standing on the other side of the room.

"Well, since you weren't at the apartment like I told you to be, I had to find you." Carmen says.

"You're suppose to stay away from me." Spencer stutters out and I can see tears are forming in her eyes.

"I don't give a fuck about the restraining order." Carmen yells and my head snaps in the direction of the girl outside my door. Restraining order? Wha...why? Carmen goes to remove my arm from the doorframe to make another attempt at getting inside.

"Hey! Are you stupid or something? You're not coming inside." I raise my voice and moves to stand in the way.

"Bitch, get out of my fucking way before I remove you myself." She threatens.

"I'd like to see you try." I challenge.

"Easier than you think. Now, move so I can get Spencer out of here."

"Yeah...? Don't think that I'll happen anytime soon."

"Who do you think you are?" Carmen yells and take a step closer to me.

"Her girlfriend and I'm not about to let a freak like you get your filthy hands on her."

"Did she tell you that I hit her? 'Cause if she did, it's a lie. That's what she is, a fucking liar." Carmen says with a smirk. The anger is beginning to get the better of me and I need to get her out of here before I beat her all over her smug fucking face.

"You need to get your ugly ass off of my property before I call the cops." I say as calmly as I can.

"You don't scare me." She says and I pick up my phone from my pocket and begin to dial 911.

"What the fuck ever. I'm leaving but don't think for a second that this is the last you'll see of me." She says and begins to walk away.

"For your sake I hope it is." I yell after her and she turns around and gives me a smug grin.

"Fuck you! I'll make sure your ass will be taken care of, for good. You do not wanna stand in my way, Davies!" She threats and storms of. Bitch. I close the door and turn around to Spencer.

"Sit." I order and motion for the couch and without a word she does.

"Now, explain why the hell I just got threaten to death by your ex?" I snap without being able to stop myself although I know that I shouldn't be angry at her. She's the real victim after all.

"I...I don't understand how she found me..." Spencer says with a broken voice which causes my anger to disappear and being replaced with sadness. I sit down beside her and place my hand on the small of her back, doing soothing patterns.

"I'm sorry I snapped. I just..." I start not knowing what to say and she breaks down. I scoop up the fragile girl in my arms and whisper calming words in her ear. After long minutes she calms down.

"You gotta call the police Spence. They're gonna take her in for breaking the restraining order and you'll be safe. I promise." I say before giving her a kiss on the side of her head. She nods in answer before getting up to get her phone. When she comes back she looks a little calmer.

"They'll start to look after immediately." She says as she sits down beside me again.

"Good. Can you please try and explain to me what's happening? 'Cause I'm feeling pretty lost right now." I plead.

"Yeah... I'm sorry I dragged you into this." She says in a low voice.

"No, don't be sorry. Just tell me. You don't have to be scared of telling me." I say offering her a smile as I take her hand in mine.

"I know. It's just hard..." She begins before being quiet for awhile "You know I told you about how she got aggressive after her brother death, right?" She says turning to me and I nod in answer.

"She didn't just get aggressive verbally. Well, in the beginning it was all words but one day she snapped and hit me. God, I remember it like it was yesterday." Spencer continues and a few tears escape that I'm quick to wipe away.

"She apologized immediately and she acted all sweet around me and did everything to get me to forgive her which I did. For a couple of days after that everything was like in the beginning of our relationship then she went out and got drunk again. When she came home she started to yell at me for God knows what and I yelled back which made her hit me again. And she didn't stop until I said I was sorry for whatever she said was my fault and then she'd threaten me that if I ever told anyone she'd kill me. This soon became a pattern. She'd get drunk, come home and beat me until she couldn't anymore. Sometimes she would..." She trails of sobbing hard know. But I don't need her to finish that sentence, I already know how it ends. And I don't like it. If I get my hands on that fucking bitch I'll fucking end her life.

"Ssshh, baby. You don't have to say it." I whisper and pull her down on the couch with me, wrapping an arm around her waist and holding her close to me.

After what seems to be forever her breathing is so calm that I think she's asleep and surprises me when by speaking.

"About a month ago, she hit me so many times I nearly died. Jamie found me and saved my life. A couple of days later I reported her, got the restraining order and filled for divorce. The Police found her in New York and until this Wednesday she's been in jail over there. If you hadn't shown up to get me when you did I probably wouldn't have been here today." She whispers. Her words makes a couple of my own tears escape and I tighten my arm around her.

"Don't say things like that. You can't get hung up on the what if's. You are here and I'm not letting go of you anytime soon." I whisper and she turns around in my arm, gazing in my eyes as if she's looking for some sort of confirmation to what I just said, probably finding it she leans forward capturing my lips in a loving kiss, showing everything we feel in it instead of using words.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N - Next chapter up! The next chapter will be the last of this story ;(**

**It's still pretty hectic around here so I don't know when I'll be able to upload the ending of this story. **

**Maybe it'll be sometime next week, but with a little encouragement from you guys it might be up sooner ;)**

**Hope you enjoy this one! :)**

Sugar, Spell It Out 

Chapter twenty 

After an hour or so we moved from the couch to the bedroom and Spencer fell into a restless sleep, her nightmares waking her several times. I couldn't sleep at all because I had to many things running through my mind. The meeting with Carmen played itself over and over in my mind and I couldn't get rid of the feeling that I recognised her from somewhere. I tried to remember from where but came up with nothing. Another thing that hunted me was how Carmen found Spencer. No one, except for Jamie, was aware of that Spencer stayed at my place and since Jamie's on Spencer's side in this miserable story I highly doubt that she's the one that sold her out. Almost four in the morning Spencer stopped dreaming and I felt calm enough to finally rest myself. Spencer had too work the next day and I wasn't about to let her go down to the movie set alone in case Carmen showed up.

I woke up the next day to an empty bed and immediately feared the worst. I climb out the bed and went out of the bedroom and let out a deep breath when I heard the shower running and made my way into the kitchen to make some coffee.

After putting on the clothes for the day I sat down at the kitchen island with a cup of the steaming liquid.

"Hey babe." Spencer says walking into the kitchen and gives me a quick kiss.

"Morning. Feeling better?" I say as I hold out another cup for her.

"Yeah, a little. Would feel even better when she's back in custody." She answers offering me a small smile and takes the cup, sipping from it.

"That makes two of us." I say and gets up to make myself ready to leave.

"Are you coming with me to the set?"

"Yes, that was the thought. Sure as hell not leaving you alone when there's a mental case on the lose and after your blood." I say as I put on my watch on my wrist. I throw a glance at her and is met by a head tilt and a small smile.

"What?" I ask as I struggle with the clock who apparently decided that today was a good day to fuck with me.

"Nothing, just..." She begins as she takes two steps closer to me and helps me put the watch on.

"Just what?" I ask with a smile when she's done.

"You're too good to me." She says taking my hands in hers.

"No such thing when it comes to you gorgeous. You deserve the best." I say sincerely before kissing her deeply.

"We gotta go now if we're gonna be there on time." I say eventually.

"Yeah. I just wanna get this day over with." Spencer says with a sigh.

A couple of hours later of me hanging out at the set and just being plain bored. It's surprising how little there actually is to do on a movie set, you'd think it's exciting to watch a movie form but no, it really isn't. Perhaps it has to do with that I can't concentrate. I keep ending up thinking about yesterday.

"Hey Ash. Haven't seen you in awhile." Jamie says coming up to me.

"Yeah, right back at you." I say with a smile.

"Been busy with Spencer I imagine?" She says with a teasing smile.

"Been busy with Spencer's ex." I answer with a sigh.

"What? Carmen? But she's not suppose..."

"To be anywhere near Spencer, I know." I interrupt her.

"Carmen showed up at my house yesterday and after I threatened with calling the cops she left. Spencer told me everything that happened between them." I say with a sad smile.

Jamie opens and close her mouth a couple of times to say something but apparently not knowing what.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. But Spencer made me promise to keep quiet."

"It's okay Jamie. It wasn't your story to tell."

"Did anything happened yesterday?"

"No, not really. She scared Spence pretty bad and threaten to basically kill me but I'm not afraid of that bitch. I think the police will get a hold of her pretty soon."

"Yeah, you're probably right but I gotta warn you, she's a freaking nutcase. She's capable of doing almost anything." Jamie says seriously and I nod in answer taking out a cigarette and lighting it up.

"How's Spencer holding up?"

"She's doing okay I think. She had some scary nightmares but I think she'll be fine. Keep an eye on her though." I say before taking a deep drag.

"I will. She hasn't said anything to me about it and she seems to be fine from the outside. It's almost scary."

"What?"

"That she's able to show no emotions and just keep going like it's nothing. I can't get how she lived through that abuse."

"Me neither."

"She's a fighter indeed." Jamie says with a smile.

"Who's a fighter?" Madison says.

"Catwoman." Jamie says easily making me chuckle. "Can you believe how hot Halle Berry was in that movie?" Jamie continues dramatic.

"Not really. I don't swing that way anymore." Madison says with a chuckle.

"No, that I can believe. Especially after having to sleep with Ashley here." Jamie says with smirk.

"She did not have to sleep with me." I deadpan.

"No, I didn't have to. But I did feel obligated somehow." Madison says with a smug smile.

"Ouch." I say in mock hurt. "Don't look so smug. For all I know, you could've made it up that you slept together considering I don't remember it." I say with a smirk.

"Ouch." Madison says in the same tone I said it.

"Oh no, this is not happening." Jamie exclaims and I follow her line of vision seeing Carmen walking through the set.

"Oh, you got to be kidding me... Mads, call the cops and make sure Spencer stays away from here." I say starting to make my way over to Carmen with Jamie in tow.

"I'm gonna kill her." I mutter.

"No, be careful Ash. The cops are probably on their way so we just need to keep her busy. We do not need your ass thrown in jail too."

"Hey meathead!" I yell after her and she turns around with a smirk plastered on her face.

"Look what we have here, Spencer's little lifeguard. And the one that saved her pathetic excuse of a life." Carmen says when we reach her and Jamie holds me back by my shoulders.

"You need to leave this set now before I let Ashley here lose and I can promise it will not be pretty."

"Oh, what's the Rockstar gonna do? Force me to take my life by OD'ing? She didn't even manage to do that by herself so how's she gonna make me do it?" Carmen says with a laugh and Jamie struggles to hold me back. I just want to end her.

"You guys are two pathetic human beings. Too bad neither of you manage to finish you own life's, you're the definition of the word failure." Carmen continues.

"Yeah, I've run out of reasons to hold you back Ash. Feel free to crush her bony ass." Jamie says and releases me which makes Carmen's eyes wide a bit in surprise. Guess she's a little scared of me after all. She should be. I pick up my pack of cigarettes to light another one up, it'll help me to keep calm. I know the police will be here soon and even though I want nothing more then to beat the shit out of her, I really don't wanna end up in jail. I take a deep drag of the cigarette.

"You know what Jamie? She's not even worth it." I say.

"Seems like all you do is talk, bitch. You're just like your dad, a drug addict and nothing more. And you belong in the same place where he's at, six feet under ground." Carmen laughs. She did just not bring my father into this conversation? I'm gonna fucking deck her.

"Oooh, not good. You're so screwed." Jamie says with a laugh knowing that I don't sit well with people talking shit about my dad. I walk the short distance over to her and go so close that I'm literally five inches from her face.

"You think I'm all talk and no action? Maybe you should've done a better research on me. Then you'd know that I hospitalized a guy twice my size just the other day, not that far away from where we're standing right now. I pity you, you know? The only place you'll get to see in the future is the inside of a cell not bigger than six by eight feet and after days of being locked up it's gonna start feeling like the walls is closing in on you and they'll just keep getting closer and closer and closer until you go crazy. The only time you'll get out of the cell is to shower and you can only hope that you won't drop the soap. It's common knowledge that the rapists and wife beaters are the one that goes down first in the prisons. No one wants anything to do with them, they're trash and the inmates will make it their everyday fun to make your life a living hell. And they'll keep doing so until you can't take it anymore and you'll wish with everything in your body that I ended your life today. My only advice for you Carmen...don't drop the soap. Do not drop the soap." I say and emphasize every word in the last sentence slowly before turning around and walking away as I caught a glimpse of two police officers climbing out of their car and hurriedly making their way over to us. I only make it a few feet though before I hear Carmen's steps behind me.

"Watch out!" Jamie shrieks and I just manage to turn around and dodge the knife Carmen has in her hand. A millisecond later and it would've been attached to my back by now. Carmen stumble over and falls since she wasn't expecting me to get out of her way. She still has the knife in her hand and is about to get up when put a knee on her chest to hold her down and grabs her wrist with my free hand trying to shake the knife out of her hold but she won't let it go. The question of why I'm still holding on to my cigarette runs through the back of my head.

"Drop the knife Carmen."

"No way, bitch!" She yells and tries to get out of my hold.

"Drop the knife." I say slowly and brings the cigarette up to her cheek, holding it so close that she probably feels the heat coming from it.

"You wouldn't." She says more of a question than a statement and her eyes wanders from the cigarette and my eyes a couple of times.

"Try me." I challenge hoping she won't 'cause I'm really not that big of a fan of burning someone. And she doesn't, she lets go of the knife just as the police officers arrives. One of them kicking the knife away and the other one taking over my hold on Carmen before roughly bringing her to her feet and cuffing her. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding and sees one of the cops saying something to me but I can't hear him. Jamie walks over to me and grabs a hold of my shoulders shaking me gently at first to get my attention but when it doesn't work she does it more violently.

"Hey! Snap out of it Ash." She says with a small smile and I meet her eyes and shrugs her hands of my shoulders.

"You okay?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say and throws a glance at Carmen who's being led to the car by the one of the officers.

"Can you come down to the station later to give your statement?" The officer asks me.

"Sure." I answer and nods and the officer take of in the direction of the car.

"You're bleeding." Jamie states with wide eyes and I follow her line of vision to my right shoulder. She's right. I take a hold of my shirt and pulls on it a bit to see that it's ripped apart and there's a two inches long cut underneath. I guess the fucker didn't miss after all. Even though the blood is pretty much pouring out and almost cover my whole upper arm by now I doubt the cut is very deep. Jamie takes me by my unharmed arm and pulls me in the direction of a trailer. She drags me inside and takes out a first aid kit from one of the cabinets.

"Does it hurt?" She asks as I sit down on the couch and she begins to roam through the kit for the right tools.

"No. I think it's the adrenaline kick." I say as a glance down a the cut again before the door bursts open and Spencer comes in with Madison and Chelsea in tow.

"Oh my God!" Spencer exclaims when she sees my blood covered shirt. "What happened?" She asks worriedly as she kneels down in front of me, placing her hands on my thighs squeezing lightly.

"Lets just say your ex can put another attempted murder on her resume." Jamie hisses and Spencer's eyes widens in shock.

"I'm okay Spence. Just a little cut." I say but frown in pain as the cut starts to make itself known.

"I can do that." Chelsea says and moves Jamie away from the first aid kit "I actually went to nursing school." She continues with a chuckle.

"Can someone please explain what the fuck just happened?" Madison say in a high pitched voice but is ignored by everyone. Chelsea finds the things she was looking for and Spencer moves to sit beside me instead and takes my hand in hers. Chelsea sits down on the wounded side of me.

"I'll explain everything later." I say not having the energy to do it right now.

"Can you take of your shirt?" Chelsea asks and I nod in answer before looking around and giving Jamie and Madison a look telling them to get the fuck out.

"Oh please Ash? Really? You ain't got nothing we haven't seen before darling, and I mean that in a literal way. Everyone in this room have seen you naked, well...except for Chels." Jamie says chuckling and turning her eyes to Chelsea before continuing "And let me tell you, it wasn't that great."

"Her body or the sex?" Chelsea asks with a snicker.

"Well, since there were no sexual events involved, thank God, I'll have to say her body." Jamie reasons and gives Chelsea a smile.

"Good to know." Chelsea answer.

"You're saying you two never slept together?" Madison asks surprised.

"Disgusting. She's like my sister from another Mister." Jamie deadpans.

"Enough with the meaningless conversations. I'd like to clean this cut up now." I groan.

"Yeah, we're just waiting for you to undress." Jamie says with a smirk making me roll my eyes.

"What happened with sister from another Mister?" I ask.

"Still my sister, just enjoying the fact that you for once feel uncomfortable." Jamie says giving me a sly grin.

"What the fuck ever." I say as I stand up and starts to unbutton my shirt slowly. "You know what Jamie? You say you don't think my body is that great, which obviously..." I motion to my body with my shirt now open showing my black lace bra underneath "...is a lie, and somehow you still want me to undress in front of you." I say smiling slyly at her and seductively slide the shirt of me, ignoring the fact that it hurts like hell when it grazes the cut. My little show put them all into a state of silence as the stare at me.

"Don't flatter yourself." Jamie says after a moment of silence.

"I don't have to, the drool you guys are producing is enough." I answer wittedly as I sit down again and throw a glance at Spencer who's shaking her head at me with a small smile.

"No drool here. I'm married for Christ's sake, to a man that is more than enough for my needs." Madison says seriously as Chelsea begins to clean away the blood from my arm, slowly inching closer the cut itself.

"Are you trying convince me or yourself?" I ask with a frown and she only scoffs in answer before leaving the trailer.

"Well, fun's over. This is gonna hurt." Chelsea says before she starts to clean the cut carefully.

"Fuck, that does hurts!" I groan and Spencer rubs my back in a soothing motion.

"Yeah, karma is a bitch right?" Jamie chuckles.

"And why the fuck would karma be a bitch to me? I just got knifed by a dim-witted cunt with the intention of killing me." I say incredulously before muttering curses under my breath as Chelsea continues her handiwork.

"Okayokay...So maybe it is some other higher force punishing you for your sad attempts of trying to seduce a room full of women." Jamie snickers.

"Only one woman in here that I want to seduce." I say giving Spencer a nose crinkling smile and interlacing our fingers before turning to Jamie continuing "To the other ones, I was just proving a point."

"Being?"

"That my body is ridiculously hot." I say slyly

"So is your ego." Jamie states.

"Wouldn't call it ego, more like a big personality."

"Well, then you have a ridiculously big personality."

"I can live with that."

"Yeah? Well, your personality almost got you killed today."

"Oh, please? She was after my blood before I advised her to be careful with the soap." I say and laugh at the memory of Carmen's frightened face. Jamie begins to laugh to and the two other girls looks at us confused.

"Yeah, that was pretty funny. Where did you even get all that from?" Jamie asks between laughs.

"I have no idea. Just felt like the right things to say to push her over the edge." I say as my laugh subsides.

"Yeah, well...your mission was accomplished. And so is mine."

"Uh?" I ask with a frown.

"My mission to keep you occupied while Chels fixed you up." Jamie says with a genuine smile motion at my arm. I look down at my shoulder and see that she is in fact done. Hardly felt a thing.

"Damn, you're good." I say with a chuckle as I look up at Jamie again.

"Yes, I am." She says with a proud smile.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N - So, here it is! The final chapter! Hope you like, and please send me a review! :)**

Sugar, Spell It Out

Chapter twenty one

I woke up the next morning with the blonde beauty in my arms and couldn't remember the last time I felt this good. I had all the things I could ask for, a good career, a bunch of crazy wonderful friends, a great home but the best part of me is right beside me. Life could simply not be any better. I feel relieved now that Carmen's locked up and about to spend a long time in prison for hurting the gorgeous blonde and for the stunt she played yesterday. I can't wrap my head around how anyone could ever do what she did to Spencer. She's so pure, kind and loving. I'll spend the rest of my life with her if she let me. Falling in love with her was so easy and I keep falling. It's scary but the good kind of scary. She has my heart in her hands now and I'm not sure she's aware of it, but I trust her with it anyway.

After Chelsea fixed my shoulder up yesterday Jamie told everyone at set to take the rest of the day off and me, Jamie and Spencer went down to the police station to give our statements. After that me and Spencer went back home and spent the rest of day and most of the night in each others arms, altering between talking, about everything from childhood pets and dreams for the future, and making love. If the first time was pure bliss the second time was, yeah...I'm at a loss for words actually. Speechless. Amazed. Astonished. Okay, so maybe I had a few words but they're not nearly enough.

"If you were thinking any louder I'd actually be able to hear it." Spencer mumbles into the crook of my neck, her breath tickling me slightly.

"Yeah?" I chuckle staring up at the ceiling.

"Mhm." Spencer says rolling onto her side propping her elbow up, leaning her head in the palm of her hand and looks at me intently.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, you know...just...just that I feel like nothing can touch me right now. That everything's pretty perfect." I say with a smile still starring at the starring at the ceiling. She doesn't answer me but I can still feel her eyes on me, after a moment of silence I turn my gaze to her and is met by her beautiful smile and her gorgeous eyes, showing emotions I can't really put my finger on.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing. I just... I love you."

Did she just tell me she loved me? I seek in her eyes for some sort of confirmation and that's when I understand what the emotions I couldn't put my finger on is. It's love and affection. Something no one ever showed me before, not like this. I can feel a couple of tears escaping my eyes and she's quick to brush them away with her thumb. When I can't seem to find my voice to say the same words to her I crash my lips against hers, pouring my heart in it. Our tongues finds each other fast and I can't stop myself from moaning into her mouth. When I reluctantly pull away, silently cursing my body's need for air, I lean my forehead against hers.

"I love you too." I whisper before capturing her lips again.

A couple of hours later we force ourselves out of the bed and finish of the night/morning in the shower before I make my way out in the kitchen to cook us some food, my speciality of course, pancakes. Also the only thing I can make. As I'm cooking my phone goes of and I glance down at the screen seeing it's Jamie. I hit the green button and sets the phone on speaker.

"Hey Jamie."

_"Hey pumpkin. What's up?"_ She says cheerfully and I chuckle at her new nickname for me, it's always something new when it comes to Jamie.

"I'm making my famous pancakes, and what's with the weird nickname?" I ask as Spencer walks into the kitchen wrapping her arms around my waist.

_"Well, I got tired of the old one. Not so fun calling you Whipped when you stopped complaining about it."_ Jamie reasons and my eyes widen. Oh no! That was not something I wanted Spencer to hear. I quickly turn in her arms and finds an amused smile on her lips.

"Whipped?" She mouths with a frown. Kill me now...

"Jamie, you are dead to me. You're on speakerphone bitch!" I'll never live this one down.

_"How was I suppose to know that?"_ She says laughing _"Well Whipped, the truth always finds its way out somehow._" She continues still laughing.

"Our friendship has come to an end Jamie." I states before hanging up to phone and turn back to my pancakes.

"So it's Whipped they've been calling you?" Spencer asks teasingly.

"No comments."

"Aww, come on baby. You're not whipped." She says and wraps her arms around me again.

"I know, and this conversation ends now or there will be no pancakes for you." I say turning around in her arms again.

"You wouldn't dare to take away the pancakes?" Spencer says with a shocked expression.

"Yes, I will Miss Carlin."

"No, you won't Miss Davies. You wouldn't do that to me 'cause it'll be at your own expense."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, no kisses which also means no sex." She says seriously and my mouth drops in shock. She wouldn't, right?

"You're kidding right?"

"No." She says and lets go of me before starting to get out of the room but I stop her by taking her by her wrist. This will only prove everyone right about me being whipped.

"Fine. Eat as many as you want. Just know that there will be plenty of sweet love making tonight."

"I knew you'd give in." She says taking a hold of my wife beater and bringing me close to her. Yeah, of course she knew that, because I'm whipped. No surprises there. But whatever, I'll happily be it as long as Spencer wants boss me around.

"I'll fucking rock whipped. I'll be the master of all whipped people." I murmur into the crook of her neck and I can feel her chuckle.

"I know you will babe, I know."

An hour later we are seating in the couch watching the latest news on TV.

"I think I'll go for a run. Is that okay with you?" Spencer says looking up at me from snuggling into my side.

"Of course baby." I say with a smile.

"Goody." She says and gets up from the couch and disappears in the direction of the bedroom only to emerge a couple of minutes later in different cloths.

"I'll be back in about 30, okay?" She says with a smile. I nod in answer and she walks out the glassdoors.

10 minutes later there's a knock at the door. Who can that be? Spencer wouldn't knock and Jamie wouldn't dare to show her face here after the whole Whipped incident. Kyla and Eric is still on their honeymoon. I get up from the couch and walk over to the door opening it. As soon as I see who it is my face falls. Everything falls into place and it dawns on me so fast I can't even register every thought going through my head. How could I be so stupid? I mean, I should have known. If I only used my brain for what it's supposed to be used for, then this would probably never be happening. Everything was right in front of me the whole time. I rarely trust people and when I do it's the wrong ones. I knew I shouldn't have taken her death threats lightly. Why couldn't my prayers this morning been answered? Why couldn't things just run smoothly for awhile? No, it can't be that easy. It never is. I look into his eyes for the first time since I opened the door. Maybe he doesn't know that I know? I have to stay calm, keep him from understanding. Just gotta keep the façade up long enough to get rid of him.

"Are you alone?" Aiden breaks the silence. He knows. That is not good.

"Now is not a good time graveyard." I say with a small smile, my heart picking up it's speed as he gives me a smirk before reaching behind his back pulling out a handgun. My eyes flicker shut the sight of it. This can't be happening.

"Now is the perfect time." He says holding the gun only inches from my forehead. "So, I ask again. Are you alone?"

"Yes."

"Where is Spencer?" He says with a calm voice. I don't want him to know where she is. If I keep him busy until she comes back there's a small chance I'll get out of this alive but if he catches her...I can't even think it.

"Working." I say in a low voice. He press the gun to my temple and I close my eyes again, trying to keep my heart from pounding so hard and my breathing to calm down.

"No, you're lying. Don't make this so hard on yourself Davies. Tell me where she is?" He growls and I take a deep breath.

"Somewhere along the beach. She won't be back in about 20 minutes."

"Good. Gives me plenty of time. Now, move inside." He says and leads me into the livingroom. He does a quick check around the place before aiming the gun at me again. He's about 10 feet away from me, the gun directed to my head.

"You don't wanna do this Aiden." I whisper and I feel a couple of tears, that I've been struggling to hold back, fall.

"You're right. I don't want to do it but it's what I'm getting paid for."

"By who?" I already know the answer but I need to hear it.

"I didn't think you were that stupid." He says with a laugh.

"Please answer some of the question going through my head? At least give me that." I plead and he shrugs in answer.

"You get five question and I promise to answer them truthfully. It's not exactly like you're going to be able to tell someone since this is your last conversation." He says with a chuckle. Yeah, he doesn't need to remind me of that... I need to choose this questions wisely 'cause if it's something I want before I die is at least some sort of explanation to why I'm dying.

"I'm guessing you're not really a security guard, so what are you?" I ask with a shaky voice.

"I'm nothing. A simple man trying to earn money for rent and food." Damn, what a way to waste that question. Need a question with a long answer.

"Why are you following Spencer around?" I ask hoping this will answer a lot.

"Well, Carmen is an old friend of mine. She called me up from jail in New York and asked me to come visit her. She told me about Spencer's lies and that she got her thrown into jail." Does he really think Spencer lied about being abused? As if reading my mind he continues.

"I don't really care what happened between them. I'm in it for the money."

"You didn't really answer my question." I say hoping I'm not crossing any lines with the statement.

"What?" He asks with a frown.

"Well...I ask why you were following Spencer around but you never really answered it."

"Oh, right! Yeah, so Carmen wanted me to keep an eye Spencer and what she did. So when she began to hang out with you Carmen wanted me to befriend myself with you so that I could get a hold of inside information. Obviously I succeeded. She simply wanted me to keep her updated on what Spencer did but she wasn't pleased when I told her you two were hooking up. And yeah...here I am, about to end your life for the choices you made." He says with a small chuckle. I can't seem to find anything humours in this situation. My eyes dart out to the porch where I see Spencer with a look of shock and confusion. Don't be seen, please don't be seen. I avert my eyes as I see her pick up her phone from her pocket before getting out of our line of vision. Thank God she didn't leave her phone inside. Aiden sees that my attention turned away from him for a moment.

"What did you see?" He hisses and turns his gaze towards the porch and back to me.

"Nothing...nothing." I answer trying to feign surprise.

"I don't trust you." He says and backs over to the glassdoors and looks outside for a brief moment but goes back inside pretty fast. I guess she hid somewhere and now I need to buy me a whole lot of time.

"There's no one there." He says.

"Yeah, I know. I told you." I deadpan.

"It's not in your best interest to be a smartass." He says gives me an irritated look.

"Well I'm dying anyway."

"Touché. Anyway, three questions left and hurry up. I have places to be. Money to collect you know?" Okay, what should next question be.

"Was everything you did a part of the plan? I mean, the meeting at the graveyard, Starbucks, you showing up at my sisters wedding?

"Yeah, kind of. Meeting at the graveyard wasn't really a plan, but I drugged the guard that came just in time for my arrival and I took his clothes. I followed you around all day and was a bit surprised when you ended up at the graveyard. The meeting at Starbucks was also planned but you weren't suppose to arrive so fast. You saw me with Carmen that day and we thought that could jeopardise the plan but it didn't. Just like Spencer you're too slow for your own good. Anyway, your sisters wedding. Yeah, also a part of everything. I wasn't able too follow you guys around that day and Carmen wanted proof that Spencer was here with you so I had to come here even though it wasn't the smartest thing." He says calmly. What did Spencer say that day, she recognised him right?

"Why?"

"Why what?" He asks with a frown. And he says I'm slow. Jerk.

"Why wasn't it the smartest thing to come here?"

"Aha! Well, it could destroy everything we worked on. You see, I met Spencer once before. About three years ago. I was at Carmen and Spencer's wedding and coming here that meant a huge risk that she'd be recognising me. Apparently she didn't since I'm about to kill her new found love." He says with a sly grin.

"No, she did recognise you but she couldn't remember where from." I say trying to buy me some more time since I'm running out of questions. God, can't the police for once sgow up before it's too late? I so badly need a happy ending to this. For God's sakes, my life has just started. For once in my life I find myself being in love and being loved, am I really suppose to lose it before I even had I chance to enjoy it? This is not how I imagined the first day of my new life to be. Is the first day also suppose the be the last? Life can't be this unfair! Somewhere along my train of thought my tears begin to run freely.

"Someone's beginning to realize this is the end?" Aiden asks with a smirk but I don't answer. How the fuck do you respond to something like that?

"Well, you have one last question. I'm quite curious to what it might be." He says after a moment of silence. I don't have anymore questions, what I wanted to know has been answered. I know that meeting Spencer made my life complete but what I didn't know until this moment was that meeting her also meant complete as in over. I don't blame her though, I'd probably do it all over again if I had the chance. Yeah, if I had to choose between living a life without her and living a life with her but only having the opportunity to hold her close for a fraction of a lifetime and ending up here, I'd choose the later over and over again. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, right?

"Come on Davies! What will it be, a last question or a bullet through that pretty head of yours?"

"What's my life worth?" I whisper after a few seconds that seems to go on forever.

"What?" He asks.

"How much money is she paying you for killing me?" I ask slowly.

"Oh." He says and thinks for a moment. "Well, a lot. But it's not so much about the money for me though. Sure, it'll pay the rent for the rest of my life probably but Carmen is my friend and I kind of want to get rid of you." He says with a smile.

"Why?"

"Uh huh. You're out of questions, besides you wouldn't understand."

"Humor me?"

"Okay...Well, since you're in love with Spencer and obviously gay it makes it impossible for a guy like me to compete for you so...I'm taking you out of the competition. Ha...ha...that didn't make much sense, but whatever. Time to finish this shit." He says and raises the gun a bit to get a better aim. I close my eyes and silently prays this won't be painful.

"Mr. Dennison. Please, lower your weapon." A voice says and I open my eyes to find three cops standing behind Aiden aiming at him with their weapons.

Aiden throws a glance at them before turning back her gaze to me without his aim faltering.

"No." He growls.

"Mr. Dennison, it's over."

"Yes, it is." He whispers and his index finger tightens around the trigger.

Then I hear it. The loudness makes my ears hurt brutally and the pain in them is all I can think about. That is until I see Spencer coming out from hiding, and even if I can't hear it I know she's screaming. I can see it in her face. That and how the tears are running freely down her cheeks. I watch in slow motion how one of the police officers stops her from running to me. She puts up a good fight, as always. That's my girl. She must've been the strongest and bravest person I've ever met.

As the police officer manage to hold her in her place she sees me looking at her. Our eyes meet and that's when it strikes me. I only hold her gaze for a second, but that's all I need. I know. I know that everything will be okay.

My eyes closes at the realisation. I can let go. And the world disappears.

**A/N 2 - So that was it. Hope you guys are not too disappointed about the ending. All stories can't have a happy ending ;) **

**I've thought a lot about continuing this story but I don't think I'm even able to write a sequel on this. I wouldn't know how to turn this ending around. I'm really a sucker for happy endings but the best stories are often the tragic ones, isn't that right?**

**Anyway, let me know what you think (but please don't hate me). And if someone manage to help me come up with an awesome idea how to continue this please let me now, and I might write sequel! ;) **


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